The Forbidden Love
by musiclegend01
Summary: Bella becomes very ill and Edward cheats on her with Alice, while she is struggling through that she also finds out she's pregnant. With no other option she falls in love with Jasper and finds out that her long lost love Edward is marrying someone else.
1. Fever

This is the latest and newest chapter from my new story.. it's based on twilight.. don't judge it's no fun! haha

**Chapter 1: A Tough Week**

It was December 1st and I laid in my bed terribly ill. I couldn't breath and my heart began to beat abnormally. Edward wasn't home and everyone else was out hunting. I slowly picked up my hand and rubbed it against my head. My head was oddly overheated and it was also wet and clammy. This was the right time to diagnose that I had the flue of some sort. At this time I gently closed my eyes, praying Edward would come back home and realized what was going on with his dearly beloved wife. " e-Edward." I barely spoke out in a whisper. I knew he couldn't hear me, but it made me feel better.

I then began to feel nauseated and my eyes began to search for the bathroom. I was obviously in such bad condition to know I wouldn't be able to walk let alone run to the bathroom and throw up. So I covered my mouth and began to take deep breaths, but I felt light headed as I began to do so. I stopped and now had a tear falling down the side of my face as I was in agony. " Edward!" I screamed out, this time it was with my all I called out his name for help. " Anybody." I whispered now and rubbed my head carefully and began to groan.

I laid down helplessly and waited for someone to come running in to the house. It had been two hours later and I heard the front door open and footsteps rome around in the house. " Edward?" I asked and you could tell in my voice that I was ill. " Bella?" I heard a voice speak out and I heard them run to my room. The voice wasn't very familiar to me. " Bella?" The man called out. " In here." I said quietly and feeling sweat rush down the side of my face. I then recognized the voice.. It was Jacob. " Jake!" I cried and began to groan again.

" Bella!" He screamed and ran to my side. " Bella, what happened to you?" He asked somewhat frightened of my paleness.

" I- I don't know." I replied softly and a tear ran down the side of my cheek slowly.

" Come on, let's go get you taken care of. Do you need anything?" He asked in a whisper.

" Water." I replied and could feel his hot hand against my head that was too wet from all the sweat.

" You look like you have a fever. How do you feel now?" He asked curiously.

" Nauseous. " I admitted and could feel my body shiver as he went to put more blankets on me as I laid sick in bed.

He sat next to me and kissed my slimy forehead and put a small, cold, wet wash cloth on my head and rubbed the side of my arm in a soothing motion. I began to cry again. "Shh.. Everything's going to be okay, Bella. I promise." He smiled slightly and sighed as I began to groan again from my stomach feeling nauseated. He wrapped his arms around my inflamed, over heated body.

" I'm sorry I look like this." I said quietly and buried my head into his chest.

" Um, you're apologizing for being sick? Okay, Bella. I think your fever's making you go a little crazy at the moment." He laughed slightly.

" I-I need." I could barely say what I needed and it was very important that Jacob paid attention to my needs at the moment. So, I wouldn't go into shock from not being properly taken care of. What I truly and honestly needed was the Cullen's or at least Carlisle, and Edward at my side. Carlisle trying to diagnose what was wrong with me, and Edward comforting me gently and making my tears of agony disappear.

" No," He said firmly. " what you need is to take it easy and get some sleep." He looked at me and held me gently by my shoulders.

" Edward!" I finally begged, and I saw Jacob's expression... confusion was written on his face.

" Edward? I'm sorry, Bella, but Edward just left to go over to Alaska for a while... I thought you knew?" He said confused still. " He just came to my door this morning asking for me to check on you every now and then while he was gone, but I don't need a stupid blood sucker telling me to check on you when I was capable of doing that on my own." He rolled his eyes and put his hand on my head again and sighed in disappointment. " I think your fever's going up.... Maybe I should call Carlisle." He said for a moment and the nodded his head 'no'. I sighed and began to moan again. I tried reaching to grab some of Jacob's shirt in my hand to try and tell him to get Edward now, but I had no strength in my body left. I was done for.

_I need Edward! now! _

_Call Carlisle! _

_Get somebody other than yourself to help me out, like say... I don't know.. maybe a doctor!_

There was too many things going on in my mind and I couldn't bare to think of it any longer. The one question that was running through my mind the most was... well, why did Edward leave and not tell me? Why was he gone in the first place?! especially when I needed him the most. I began to breath out gently and began to feel cold. I had the chills and started to cough loudly into my blanket. Every time I coughed, it grew louder and harder, which made it very difficult for me to breath and focus as well.

" Bella, What's wrong?" He asked slightly concerned. I couldn't answer him my voice was too far gone for me to speak at least once. I could feel a salty yet moist liquid form in the back of my throat, causing me to gag it up. The taste reminded me of rust and it made me feel dizzy from the horrible smell it was forming in my nose. The werewolf genius wouldn't be smart enough to realize I was not okay, instead he just stared at me.

I finally had the smallest strength to speak again. " Jake, Bathroom!" I begged and feel something rushing down the side of my lip and dripping off of my chin. Jake looked rather disturbed and did as I asked. He stood me gently by the sink and I let my head fall over the sink and began to spit out something that reddish orange.. It was blood and I could smell it, taste it. I could recognize it anywhere. I was bleeding on the inside of my throat. Something was definitely wrong. It made me feel even more nauseous than I originally had been and I began to through up. Jake was speechless and I could tell he was scare. He could not bare to see me like this.. and I'm sure neither could Edward. If he was here, he would of flipped out from the blood and maybe lost control... It would all be on me now. So, maybe it was better he was gone. For now, anyway.

After that whole thing, I had felt better, better than I'd ever felt, but that still didn't mean it was over. I looked up to Jake in agony and sighed quietly. " I think it's safe to say we should go to Carlisle now. Jake, please" I begged and my eyes began to widen in misery. " Do it for me." I added , and watched him nod and hug me tightly in surrender. He picked me up and I tried not to giggle. I was not really dressed to go see Carlisle. I was in sweats and a tank top.. in the middle of winter in Forks. I had to admit that I was not always a smart dresser when it came to the proper seasons. I put my hand gently on his shoulder and he looked at me, realizing my problem, as well. He put me down and set me by my closet. " Sorry." He said quietly.

I shrugged my shoulders and began to skim through my closet for a decent sweater. I found a plain grey one and slid it over my tank top to keep me warm. I did not need to be sicker than I already was. How stupid could I really be? I shook my head and kept my sweats on. It was just the Cullen's they didn't care what I looked like in the middle of winter, or anytime,really. I walked slowly to the front to slip on my brown boots and then head to the coat closet and put on my comfiest coat. I turned around to look at Jake, and found him to be dazed.

" Jake!" I yelled, and then flinched feeling a horrible pain deep down in my throat. He turned around and looked at me, and ran to my side.

" Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded my head and smiled slightly, even though I knew, and he knew that I was most certainly not okay. He picked me up and opened up the door. As we reached the outside, I could feel the cold blow against my face, causing me to shiver too much. Jake ran quickly to the car and put me inside gently. I buckled myself in and laid my head against the seat. I got out my phone and handed it to Jake carefully. I looked at him and saw him sigh underneath his breath. He knew exactly who I wanted him to call. " Did you check your messages lately?" He asked curiously and raised one eyebrow. I nodded my head no and sure enough heard it beep from a missed call. I must had been sleeping while it rang. I took the phone and began to listen to the message that was left for me.

_" Bella, it's Edward. Alice told me you were sick... I'm so sorry I cannot be there for you. I will explain to you later when I get back, which should be maybe in less than a week. Hold on, please!" _ Edward begged and then the phone was hung up.

" So, I take it he already knew you were sick huh?" He asked with a smirk on his face. I growled underneath my breath and put the phone away. The growl I let out had made my throat burn with an intensity and I ached. " Don't worry, Bella. I'm going to get you to Carlisle." He promised and started his car up. It was times like these where I had grown to hate the winter and missed Phoenix, but if I never agreed to live with my Dad, I would have never met Edward. So, I had no regret moving up to Forks for sure. I began to breath out over and over again in anxiety. This was not the best time I was having with fate.

I stared out the window and could hear Jake panic in the background. he probably knew that there was nothing he could do and he didn't want to admit that he truly needed both Edward, and Carlisle's help. It was about time! As the quiet dragged on in the car he pulled into the Cullen's drive and carried me to the front and knocked loudly on the door. I waited anxiously for Carlisle or any of the Cullen's to open up the door. My wish finally came true. Jasper answered the door and suddenly seeing me he grew worried.

" What happened to Bella?" Jasper asked concerned. I looked directly into Jasper's eyes. They were a dark shade golden brown. They were beautiful... intriguing. I seriously must have been crazy from this fever. My head was not in the right place at the right time. I could tell Jasper was chuckling at me because he could feel my emotions, as well I could. This was absolutely not fun. " Well, I'll take it from here." Jasper said quietly and carefully moved closer to me and Jake and began to lift me up from Jake's arms. I could hear Jake growling to himself. I knew he still didn't trust Jasper after the horrible birthday incident. Jasper was a little frightened by Jake's reply to his movement.

" Easy, Jake." I said quietly. I waved goodbye, as Jasper laid me on the couch. I wish I could've told Jake he was no longer needed at the moment. I was for sure in the right hands. Jake walked away and shut the door loudly behind him. " Where's Carlisle?" I asked confused.

" Carlisle is still out hunting. He'll be home shortly, though." Jasper smiled and handed me an ice pack to put against my forehead. I put the blue gelled pack against my head and breathed out slightly, relaxing myself on the couch. No sooner did I fall asleep. Being sick made me feel drained all the time. It was not the best feeling in the world, but neither was feeling like part of you was missing. I sighed and Jasper noticed that I was upset. Of course he would notice. " Is everything alright?" Jasper asked politely.

" Yes, everything's fine.... Just fine." I breathed out. He could tell I was lying, and still was hurt deeply.

" You should relax, it's harder for you to get any better when you're stressed... What's on your mind?" He asked curiously.

" I miss Edward, that's all." I shrugged my shoulders and began to stare out the closest window next to me.

" He's coming to take care of you, Bella. Don't worry." I then began to feel calmer than I was. I knew exactly the cause of that sudden change in emotion.

" Thanks." I smiled warmly and laid my head against the small couch pillow.

" No problem." He admitted and smiled back at me.


	2. Diagnosis

chapter 2: Diagnosis

As I laid on the couch knowing Jasper was watching me, I turned on my side and faced Carlisle who was standing right in front of me. " Bella, you looks awful." Carlisle admitted and sighed. " What's going on with you?" He asked curiously, while pulling a chair over by the couch and waving his tiny flash light in my eyes that were already wide enough from fright.

" Gee, thanks." I let out a quick smile and then began to frown. " I can't talk very well." I admitted and rubbed the lower part of my throat.

" Well, let's see." He said touching his finger to the bottom of my chin gently, which had to of meant he wanted me to open up my mouth. I opened up wide and could feel the skin in my mouth stick together because my mouth was so dry and rough. It hurt and the sores on my throat weren't making anything any better. He shone the flash light to the back of my throat , and began to sigh. " You have over six ulcers on the back of your throat. What have your symptoms been?" He asked curiously.

" Well, this morning I had a slight fever and then my temperature began to raise higher and higher as the day went on. I was coughing up blood and throwing up all day too." I sighed looking back at all the problems I had. He looked at me and the looks he gave me weren't promising.

" Well, it sounds like you have strep throat maybe, or possibly the flue. Either way, I will treat you with an anti-biotic, but be sure to get plenty of rest, drink tons of liquids, and try and stay cool to keep the fever down. I'm sure Jacob will be there to help you when you need it, Bella. I do apologize for my son's unexpected absence also.. It was highly uncalled for." He said gently and handed me a prescribed medicine bottle with anti- biotics labeled on the front of it. I took it without question and put it in my coat pocket. I got up and sat next to Alice who was sitting at the top of the staircase.

" How do you feel, Bella?" Alice asked politely.

" Oh crummy, usually how I feel when I'm sick most of the time." I chuckled and barely coughed after.

" You sound horrible." She admitted and laughed quietly. Yes, my voice was a little raspy, but still!

" I know, I look horrible too. I'm a mess." I sighed. " So, why'd he leave, Alice?" I asked my voice remaining stable.

" He left because I saw Edward in my own vision.. He tried to kill you because of the medical condition you were in. The blood would have taken control over him and he would've have felt lost, more than you would ever know, if he had actually killed you." She sighed and patted my shoulder. " He left because it was the only chance of saving you from a horrible disaster like that. But you still have Jake, right?" She asked with a sudden perk to her face.

" Yes..." I admitted slowly and silently.

" He'll take care of you. Edward will too, just give him some time to relax.. he's been stressed lately." She smiled slightly and then sighed quickly.

" I'm worried about him more than anything, if he would just turn me, none of this would be a problem and I wouldn't be getting sick." I leaned against the railing next to me and stared at the wall in front of me. If Edward would just listen to me, we wouldn't be having any problems, but he was weak and did not keep his promise. Eventually I will just go to Carlisle and have him do it behind Edward's back. I laughed slightly thinking about it, but then a tear began to fall off of my cheek.

" You're crying?" Alice asked confused, and then hugged me gently. " It will be okay, Bella." She patted my shoulder in comfort. " Trust me.." She added and smiled.

" I know." I sighed, and got up. Jacob was at the front door again, ready to pick me up and take care of me at home. I walked down each step carefully, hoping I would not trip over them and made it to Jacob who was standing straight and tall. " Hello, Jake." I smiled slightly.

" Are you good to go?" He asked curiously and had his eyes kept on Jasper who was now standing next to me and hugged me goodbye. I turned back to Jake and nodded my head. " Well, let's go then. Thank you, Carlisle." Jake smiled slightly and let me get my coat and boots on.

" You're quite welcome, Jacob." Carlisle said warmly and walked away. I headed towards the car and got in and Jake followed me. I buckled myself in again and breathed out slowly.

" So, what's the problem?" Jake asked curiously and pulled out of the drive.

" I had ulcers in the back of my throat. I think one opened up." I admitted and rubbed my neck gently to comfort it. " He gave me antibiotics for it." A small amount of air was let out of Jake's mouth. I was assuming he was laughing at what I said acting like it was a joke. " What?" I asked somewhat annoyed. " You don't trust Carlisle?" I asked confused. " Jake, look at all he's done for me and Edward. None of them will hurt me." I admitted and looked away from him and kept my gaze on the frozen glass window of the car.

" That's what you said a while ago before Jasper went and attacked you. Bells, I just don't want to see you get hurt again." He sighed and looked at me sadly. I could've sworn he was about to cry, but Jake isn't like that.

" You wouldn't have to worry about me if Edward would have just kept his promise!" I yelled and forgot my voice was already almost gone, and I began to moan again in pain.

" Bella! Just calm down, okay? You haven't recovered yet. You might want to go easy on the talking too." He admitted and kissed my warm forehead, letting me close my eyes and breathing out gently again. I nodded my head and began to doze off in the car, but I was still awake, just tired. Late on, the car came to a complete stop and I opened my eyes quickly to see we were home again. I got out of the car and opened the front door. I noticed it was unlocked. Somebody was already here. I took off my boots and through my coat back into the closet.

" Edward?" I called out and walked further into the house. I saw Edward sitting on the couch and he turned his face towards me and smiled slightly.

"Bella..." He said quietly and stood up from the couch. I ran to hug him tightly and smiled. He smiled back and rubbed my back to comfort me. It was amazing how I felt with him. " How are you feeling, love?" He asked curiously and pushed a stray bang out my face.

" I'm fine." I said, my voice still raspy from the sores on the back of my throat.

" Carlisle gave her antibiotics." Jacob added and watched me as I clung onto Edward, rolling his eyes and looking away from us now.

" Thanks for taking care of her, Jake. I appreciate it a lot." Edward smiled and then kissed me quickly and picked me up and laid me on the bed gently. " Now rest." He said gently and quietly and rubbed my bare arm and pulled the warm blankets over me. I no did he say that, I fell asleep. I knew he was keeping his eyes on me, to watch over me. I had my own guardian angel watching over me. I began to smile in my sleep and then began to dream peacefully.

I was in the meadow where Edward and I shared all our secrets and where we hung out most of the time after school. I was wearing a white long silk dress and Edward was standing next to me. His head leaning on my shoulder. He smelled my neck and moved his face to mine and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and looked happier than I ever was. This moment had reminded me of our first prom together. I asked him to change me then, and it looked like I had convinced him to turn me then, but as soon as he moved closer to my neck, he began to kiss it gently instead.

This dream was not a dream, it was a flash back to his and mine's past. Suddenly, he took my arm and there was a crescent shaped mark there. It was my scar from James who originally tried to kill me. He began to kiss it and then bit in. I could feel it, the venom rush through my vein's. I began to gasp at the pain and groan. It was terrifying. I finally clasped to the ground from the pain, and Edward caught me quickly and carried me to the Cullen's home. He laid me down on the couch. I looked like a dead corpse laying on the couch, helpless and in pain. I couldn't move. My entire body went numb and my felt like it was on fire. I began to scream and moan again.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab a hold of my shoulder, which made me scream even more. " Bella!... Bella! Calm down, it's just me, Edward." He rubbed my forehead and I shivered from his very cold touch. " Relax, you were just having a bad dream." He held me to him and rubbed my back soothingly. He began to hum my lullaby quietly and kissed my shoulder. I looked at Edward and sighed in relief. " Edward." I had tears in my eyes and my throat was inflamed and was hurting me terribly. Edward hugged me again and sighed, as well. " I'll make the bad dream disappear, Bella... Don't worry, you're safe with me." He rocked me gently in his arms and smiled. I loved him so much and I didn't know what to do.

" Edward.." I looked at him, my eyes still filled with tears. " Do you know what I want?" I asked carefully and slowly.

" Yes, I know what you want, but I can't do it Bella. I know I broke this promise to you." He sighed and kissed me again anxiously.

" Yes, you can. I know you can. I never thought I could see you so afraid to do something like this. Edward, we're married now, and I'm sick.. If you changed me sooner, none of this would be happening." I sighed and I hugged my knees tightly.

" The thing I'm worried about, is that if I changed you, what if it doesn't work. I have to manage to stop first." He shuddered at the thought.

" When I was dying in the ballet studio... you stopped, you found the will to stop, Edward. I trust you and you know that." I looked up to him and then looked away.

" I can't do it now, you're sick. Maybe when you get better." He assured me and got up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked, my voice in distress.

" In the living room." He sighed and began to rub his head.

Everything grew quiet and so did Edward. He wouldn't talk to me, which made me worried. I walked up to him and rubbed his shoulders. I knew he was stressed because I was feeling the same. I kissed his cheek and sighed and watched him turn his head towards me. " Would you be mad, if I went to Carlisle and asked him to change me?" I asked slowly and couldn't bare to ask the question, but I had no choice. I knew Edward had given in and was planning to keep me mortal even after the marriage.

" Why would you go to Carlisle?" He asked me curiously.

" Because I know Carlisle would turn me if you won't." I said quietly and examined his face closely. He grew angry and began to breath out hard. " I love you so much, Edward. You have no idea. And I don't want to make this harder on you. Please, understand that. I just can't wait anymore, the longer I wait, the older I get. You promised me you would turn me once we got married. Well, we're married, Edward. What are you waiting for?" I asked slightly upset. My voice was trembling as I spoke. I could tell this was agonizing him as I begged.

" Bella... There's something I have to tell you." He began to speak again then stopped. Something was on his mind.. Something was bugging him, and it wasn't going to go well for me.


	3. The Truth

Chapter 3: The Truth

He stood up from the couch to face me. His face was slightly disturbed and his hands and legs were shaking obtrusively. I could feel the tension that was built up. It was the most uncomfortable thing to feel. He looked at me quickly then looked away, as if he could not bare to see my emotions on my face. He began to tighten his fists as they dangled by his side. He breathed out and could not speak. " Edward what's going on?" I asked somewhat scared to see him like this.

" Bella.. I-... I don't know how to say this to you." His eyes grew weary and I began to walk closer to him.

" Say what to me?" I asked so confused and lost. My heart was breaking just waiting for him to tell me what he had to say. " You can tell me."

" Bella... I'm not- I'm not in love with you anymore... something's happened.. and I don't know how to explain this to you."

" I don't understand, Edward." I began to shake my head in confusion. " You're leaving me?" I asked.

" Yes, I am.. I have to. I want you to be safe and I don't know how to protect you from myself." He sighed. " If I stay any longer.. I'll kill you, Bella. I couldn't live with myself if that happened to you." He put his hand gently on my cheek and kissed it. I pushed him away and looked at him in anger.

" If you were just going to leave me, then why did you come back home? Why didn't you just stay in Alaska?!" I screamed, forgetting I was still ill, and coughed loudly into my arm.

" I needed to tell you the truth... your illness will get the best of me. Alice saw it and said this was the only choice." He looked up at me again.

" No, you know there's more than one choice, you just chose not to do it!" I pointed out. " Why's this so hard for you to do? Just turn me!" I begged and feel to my knees and cried. He didn't understand how much this was killing me inside. I was already 19 now, it was time for me to be turned whether Edward liked it or not. " Please, I'm begging you!" I did not care about my throat at the moment and the pain it was bringing to my neck. There were more important things on the line than just me losing my voice.

He picked me up from the floor and kissed me gently I closed my eyes slowly and then he let go. As I opened my eyes, I noticed he was walking away from me and out the door. " So, that's it then? You're leaving me?" I asked my voice raspy still, and now feeling total discomfort as I watched him slam the door shut. I walked towards my bedroom door and slid my back down against the door onto the floor and began to sob quietly to myself. He left because he was afraid. He was a coward, he didn't want me anymore. This would the second time he's left me heartbroken.

I stayed in fetal position on the floor for over 3 hours. I heard a knock at my door, but I did not get up to answer. They ended up opening the door anyway and coming in. " Bella?" The voice was very familiar in my mind. It was Jasper. What was he doing here? I still did not move myself from the ground, I just waited for him to find my on his own. " Bella?" He called out again, walking closer to where I was. " Bella!" He saw me and ran to my side. " Bella, are you okay?" He asked concerned. I sat up off the ground and looked up at him.

" Jasper, you want to know the honest truth if I'm okay?" I asked emotionlessly. He nodded his head in reply and I sighed. I put my hand on his shoulder and should him my cut up arms. I was scratching at them with my nails, tearing at my skin because I had nothing better to do. Because the love of my life was gone.

" Oh, Bella." His eyes were sad and he hugged me and rubbed my back soothingly, just like Edward did. I began to cry and saw that I was soaking his shirt with all my tears. He kissed my cheek to calm me down and also used his talents to calm me down, as well. " Bella, I'm so sorry." He admitted and held me close to him. " He was very stupid to leave you." Jasper admitted and smiled slightly. " You're so beautiful." He pushed away the bangs that were blocking my eyes view and smiled. " Much better. Bella, you shouldn't be doing this to yourself. I don't like seeing you hurt." He admitted wearily.

" Can I tell you something else?" I asked in a whisper

" Anything, Bella." His voice was angelic to me.

" I never thought this would hurt me so much like it does now." I admitted and hugged onto myself for comfort. Jasper put his arm around me and began to rock me gently back in forth to sooth me, just like Edward had. He was so much like him, but something about him was so.. breath taken I couldn't place my finger on it. Then it hit me and realized what I was doing. " You shouldn't be here." I said coldly and pushed him away gently.

" And why shouldn't I? You miss, are my best friend. I care about you." I looked in his eyes and saw that he was staring back into mine, smiling beautifully. I didn't need to control people's emotions to know what him and I were feeling at the moment.

" You love me?" I asked confused.

" How could I not? You're so beautiful. Bella, can I be honest with you?" He asked looking straight into my eyes and rubbing the back of my hand gently. " I loved you from day one." He admitted and looked slightly embarrassed. " You were so interesting, funny, smart, and beautiful.. But then Edward and you came into the picture and it almost became impossible for me to tell you how I truly felt until now." He sighed and leaned his head against mine.

" Why didn't you tell me in the beginning before Edward came into the picture?" I asked confused and he opened his mouth, but paused for the longest minute. I finally realized why he didn't speak. I understood perfectly that he was still with Alice, but it's still the same now, except I have nobody and he has somebody. Somebody to hold, somebody to love, somebody to talk to when he's upset. I was honestly going to miss that.

" Alice..." I spoke for him and he nodded and concurred.

" Yes, Alice... but she, believe it or not, is falling for Edward. She'll see this coming and then go be with him when the time is right." Jasper sighed and looked upset. " She was going to leave me soon." He looked at me again and smiled. He leaned forward and kissed me gently. It was the sweetest things he said to me. I was in love... In love with someone different. Someone I could trust easily.

" So, you want to be with me?" I asked still confused and a little disoriented from the antibiotics I took.

" Of course I do. Besides, Alice and I are over. I told her I was done." He stopped talking after and looked pained.

" How'd it go?" I asked curiously, wiping away all my tears.

" Not so well." He admitted and laughed slightly. " What about you? Why'd Edward break up with you?" He asked staring at the tips of his fingers in interest.

" Because I was sick." I shrugged my shoulders and let out a deep sigh.

" Literally?" He asked somewhat surprised. I nodded my head yes and he hugged me again for comfort. " Bella, I'm sorry." He said kissing me again.

" 'It's okay, it's only been a day.. I think it's gonna take me a while to get over this, but I know you could help me." I smiled slightly and could feel my throat aching. I hadn't been taking care of myself like Carlisle said I should. He put his hand gently on my cheek and looked at me with passionate eyes.

" I promise not to hurt you like he did." He kissed my nose and smiled.

" So where'd Edward leave to?" I asked curiously.

" Italy." Jasper shrugged his shoulder and then watched me. " Are you sure you'll be okay alone tonight?" He asked me concerned.

" Well, I don't mind having company." I admitted and smiled.

" So, I guess I'll stay. Besides you need somebody to help take care of you while you're ill." He laughed and kissed me again quickly and picked me up and laid me on my bed. " Sleep, Bella. I'll be in the living room if you need me." He kissed my head and left the room.


	4. The Pain

It was late and my head ached more and more as the minutes passed, then hours… I couldn't take it anymore. I opened my eyes slowly and groaned heavily. "Edward!" I cried out, but there was no answer, just silence. "Edward!" I cried out again and then realized that he was gone. Jasper was still here. What I thought I was dreaming was actually real. I held my breath for a short second and heard Jasper's footsteps.

"Bella, what's going on?" Jasper asked concerned and put his hand to my head. My head had grown hotter as the night passed. And my heart ached as the days went by. It was all the same routine again. This time Edward had broken his promise to me. He promised he would turn me. That didn't happen. He promised he would never leave me. That didn't happen. He would lie just to make me happy.

And now Jasper was mine, mine eternally… at least for now anyway. How long would it take before I lose Jasper too? I asked myself. "Yes, I'm fine, love. Thanks for your concern." I smiled slightly then sighed.

"Something is troubling you?" Jasper asked concerned still.

"Yes, something is bothering me." I replied "But you wouldn't care." I scoffed.

"Bella what's going on with you?" He asked somewhat scared at how I was reacting. "You seemed fine yesterday about us…." He froze and then so did I. us was a bad way to describe our relationship. He was more of a good friend than a soul mate to me, but then again… He was pretty amazing.

" Us?" I repeated in confusion.

" Yes, us.. Did you forget about last night's conversation? We told each other everything" He said looking worried.

"I must have." I admitted wearily. He sighed at my answer and began to head towards the front door. I mean, there was no way we talked about everything. I know I most certainly had not told him everything that was going on with me, and how I felt about him. He made me nervous at some points in my life, and other times I couldn't help but laugh because he made me. He was funny, very smart, and heroic, or brave.

"Well, I know I didn't tell you this last night, Bella…I love you." He walked out the front door and I could tell he was hurt. I couldn't reply to him, I just couldn't. Everything I was feeling for him was wrong in every way. I couldn't do this to Edward… Not yet. Not now. This was not right.

"Jasper, wait!" But I was weak for him. He turned his head towards me and smiled slightly. " Don't go." My eyes grew wide as I waited for him to walk back in. But there something else that was unexpected. He ran back and kissed me gently. It reminded me too much of Edward, but I didn't refuse his kiss.

I had nothing to lose continued and then looked at me quickly. " You're amazing." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

" Why is that?" I asked confused. " I mean, why is everybody so attracted to me, is it something I say or do? Do I smell?" I asked confused then began to smell a strand of my hair and put it down. He began to sniff in the cherry blossom perfume I put on earlier and breathed out in pleasure.

" Yes, you do." He replied happily. " And not badly anyway." He added to make me feel good and leaned in closer towards me.

" Okay, Casanova." I pushed him away gently so I could have my space. He pushed me against the wall causing the wall to crack and making me flinch in pain. I wasn't a vampire like he was and he was stronger than I, which could be very dangerous for me. " Jasper, stop!" I warned slowly, but he wasn't listening. " Jasper!" I screamed once more, even though it hurt me to. He looked at me moved his mouth to my neck. I knew exactly where this was all going in a short amount of time.

I did not open my mouth after. This was what I wanted, but of course I only wanted to be a vampire to spend my eternity with Edward, not Jazz. His teeth dug deep into my skin and I could feel the burn deep down in my neck. The venom was being injected into my vein's as he continued. I began to scream in pain. It was unlike any other I'd felt. It was not the easiest thing in the world, to feel pain, and heartache at the same time. It just made things harder for me.

I held tightly on to Jasper's left shoulder while the venom spread. Carlisle said that the transformation would take at least 3 days and I would officially be a vampire. I wasn't sure if Jasper realized quite yet what he was doing. My scent had drove him insane. " Jasper." I whispered now in pain. He removed his mouth from my neck and looked at me. He had blood dripping from the corner of his lip and some of it hit my hand.

" Bella, I'm so sorry.. I-I didn't know why I just did that. He picked me up and laid me gently on the couch. " I'll get Edward" No.. that would ruin everything. Edward would just suck it out again so I could be human once more. Unless he finally wanted to give me what I wanted. I had no idea, but right now I was feeling the worst pain in my life. It wouldn't stop

Jasper backed away in terror and was truly upset. I could tell in his eyes he was sorry. " Jasper!" I cried out. He didn't turn his face towards me, he wouldn't dare do that. He couldn't bare to see my horror that was unleashed from the venom. " Jasper!" I cried out again. He walked towards me slowly and closed his eyes.

Everything became dark and I could no longer see Jasper's face or anything for that matter. " Bella?" He called out my name softly and I could feel something cold touch my finger tips ever so gently and trace the palm of my hand. I all of a sudden could feel Jasper's touch tense as he continued to trace the palm of my hand out of curiosity.

I began to feel the pain in my heart, intense. It was too much for my body to take. It was unimaginably horrible. I could feel the venom flow in the veins of my wrists and arms, causing me to cringe and scream out. This nightmare would surely never end, or so it would seem that way. " Jasper!" I cried out in pain.

I couldn't tell if he was looking back at me, everything was so dark and frightening. " Calm down, Bella." He begged and I felt his fingers rubbing the side of my forehead. He didn't seem like he was afraid of what he had done. He seemed at peace. Did he know what I wanted from the start? Or was he just so consumed by my scent he lost control and dug in? So many questions, so many thoughts, roaming around in my head. Everything I was thinking and asking myself. They were questions and thoughts left unanswered.

Suddenly, a rush of cold air hit my hot flesh and a gasp was let out. That gasp of air had startled me. " Bella!" I heard someone call out scared. It was Edward. He rushed to my side and kissed my forehead repeatedly. He was certainly sorry for something. " I got here too late." He sighed and touched the bite mark left in my neck and the blood dripping from the wound. I heard him move towards Jasper, and a sudden growl was let out of his mouth. I was surprised he was growling. He left me in the first place. " Jasper! How could you do this to Bella?!" He asked, his voice filled with torment. " I know, I know." Jasper said still calm.

" Edward!" I screamed and felt his hand hold onto mine tightly. He was letting me know he would be here for me in this tragic time.

" I'm here, Bella." He said gently and turned his head quickly back to Jasper. " Have you seen what you have done?" He asked confused and in anger.

" Yes, I know what I did, Edward.. I couldn't help it.. And why are you mad?" He asked confused as well.

" Do you not hear yourself?!" He asked angry again. " She's fading." He sighed and I could hear his voice, It was becoming more agonizing to listen to, but it was all I could do. "You've killed her, Jasper!" He yelled and moved his head and laid it on my chest.

" You don't think I've turned people before? Edward, I know what I'm doing. She's not dead. All transformations involve pain. There's no way to avoid it." He began to pat Edward's shoulder gently. " I don't understand why you care so much anyway. You were just going to end up leaving her because she was sick. Bella deserves so much better, Edward."

" You think don't think I know that already? Bella does deserve better, she deserves someone who can give her children, someone who can love her without killing or hurting her. She deserves someone she can trust. Someone who will always protect her." He then began to cringe looking at me, who's heart was aching so badly. It felt like I had glass cutting my chest open and ripping it out.

" E-Edward." My voice began to tremble. " I love you." I barely spoke above a whisper.

" I know, Bella. I love you too…I'm so sorry I left you, love." He sighed and kissed my cold, dry lips. As he continued to do that, my body began to feel numb, and limp. I felt like I was dying… passing away, but dying wasn't even close to happening.

The venom was not done spreading, It had only just started. How bad could the pain get? I began to groan as Edward rubbed my arm gently back and forth, looking at me with his eyes filled with misery. " E-Edward." I called out again.

" I'm here." He whispered in my ear.

" Don't go." I begged, knowing Jasper could hear my every word and was torn inside from listening to me. My eyes began to close shut, even though it was already dark.

" Bella!" He yelled hitting my arm so my eyes would reopen, but I couldn't keep them open anymore. It was just so hard.

" Bella!" He screamed again and I let out the last breath I could. I couldn't breath anymore, I had become blind and my hearing was going too. " Bella, stay with me" He begged hitting my cheek softly. I could tell in Edward's voice that if he could cry he would.

He was losing me, even I knew farewell that I couldn't hold on much longer. The sound of his voice would surely keep my heart going, but it was already so broken that the pain he originally left me hadn't gone away.

Jasper, his brother, tried to mend it back together, but it didn't work. I knew deep down in my heart, that no matter what Edward did, I always wanted to be with him. I also wondered if he knew that Jasper had kissed me the night before. Maybe he came back to make things right.

But the question the brought sadness to my heart was how was Jasper going make things right with Alice? I felt sorry for him.

" Bella, can you hear me?" I heard another voice speak out. It was Jasper. He hadn't left me yet. I couldn't reply to him, I wish that I could've though. Tell him that I was sorry, to tell him to go back to Alice. Everything was pressuring down on me, making it harder to breath even with no air in my dry lungs left.

" She went into shock. Her body's not agreeing with the venom." Jasper sighed. " She's dying."

" She's so cold." Edward sighed and rubbed my cheek with his cold fingers. " This is why I was afraid to change her. Bella didn't understand. She thinks I hate her, but I could never do that. She's my soul mate." He smiled slightly then sighed again.

" Edward, I'm so sorry… Her scent was tempting me and-"

" It's not your fault, Jazz." He admitted. " It's mine, I should've never left her." He began to rub my arm again to comfort my almost dead body. The coldness of his touch kept me breathing, but only for so long. He saw my body jolt, which made him have hope. " Bella?" He asked again, his voice emotionless.

I couldn't answer, I wanted to scream out his name in agony, but I knew that would only make things worse and have him and Jasper, panic even more than before. " E-Edward." I said calmly, feeling so numb and tired. I began to cough up blood, and heard Jasper's breathing change heavily.

" Jasper, get out of here!" Edward begged and kept his eyes on me. " Bella… if you can hear me, I want to say that I'm so sorry.. I shouldn't of left you, I was so entirely stupid. Now, listen… we're going to get out of this together. I promise." He said gently continuing to hold onto my hand and tight as possible. " Just breath and hold on." He begged kissing my cheek. I began to moan again in pain. " I know it hurts, Bella, but I'll help you get through this. I love you so much. Please, don't think otherwise." He began to breath out and kissed me. His lips were so cold, just like mine. I began to close my eyes and fell asleep. Everything went dark again.


	5. anger

**Edward's POV **

She was lying there so helpless and fragile. I couldn't bare to look at her limp, cold body anymore. It was too painful to think that the best thing that ever happened to me was disappearing out of my life. I promised her so many things, and yet broke all of the promises at the same time. What have I done? Everything was such a mess. It was hard to believe that I wasn't angry at Jasper for taking Bella away from me. Making my chances of getting her back very slim.

"Bella?" I whispered gently in her ear, knowing she wouldn't reply. I began to feel for her pulse, it was slowing down, which was another sign the she was dying from the venom. Her breath was slowing and becoming more and more quiet. " Bella" I whispered again in distress. She didn't answer me still, and I removed myself from her and watched her hand drop dead off the couch and her finger tips barely hitting the ground.

My eyes grew wide in agony as I watched her die, knowing I couldn't save her. The venom was already too far into her system by now, and her heart officially stopped beating. She was gone. Her skin was like alabaster as she laid there, and it was also cold to the touch. I couldn't bare it much longer and my lower lip began to tremble in anger as I watched her. I kissed her neck where the open wound was and backed away slowly.

By the way she was positioned she looked like she was in pain from the venom. Her wrists looked swollen as the venom continued to rush through her blood stream. The only person left I knew could do something about this was Carlisle, but he was my last chance. If he couldn't help then I would lose my sweet irresistible Bella. But I would also lose her if I didn't try and trust Carlisle to help her.

I turned away from Bella's limp body and turned to Jasper, who was sitting in the corner of the hallway that led to Bella's bedroom. " Jasper!" I called quickly. He looked up at me and came to my side a second later. " Get Carlisle... now!" I begged. He looked at me and put a hand on my shoulder.

" There's still hope, Edward... I can sense Bella's and your's emotions still. She's in pain." He sighed looking at her, which caused me to let out a quick growl. He shouldn't of been looking at Bella like that, when he knew she and I were still together. He was starting to make me angry.

" I know there's still hope, which is why I need you to go find Carlisle now! She doesn't have much time left." I admitted wearily. Jasper nodded his head in reply and ran outside quickly. I turned my attention back to Bella and noticed that she was moaning and began to twitch every couple of minutes. " Bella?" I asked quickly with hope in my voice. She began to moan again and held onto her hand that had originally hit the ground before and held onto it tightly, smiling at the squeeze she gave me back. " Bella?" I asked again to see if she would reply.

She then opened her eyes, and fluttered her eyelids a few times as I saw her eyes still brown as they were before hand. Her skin was the only thing that changed.

" Edward?" The words came out of her mouth slowly and she smiled so beautifully.

" Bella." I repeated once more. " I'm here, I'm here." I hugged her slowly and carefully.

" Edward." She repeated and embraced my hug. " Where's Jas-" She stopped and her hand began to twitch again and then her body as well.

" Bella?" I asked worried now they way her body was reacting, she was shaking so much, she seemed cold, so I ran to her bed room and brought her a small blanket and put it over gently wrapping it around tightly so she would stay warm. " Carlisle's coming... and I promise as soon as he comes, you won't feel any more pain. I'll make sure of it." I rubbed her head that was now somewhat hot in temperature. " Bella?!" I asked again, this time more worried than I had ever been. " Bella, breath!" I begged as I watched her gasp for air. " Breath, love!" I begged again in agony. She couldn't hear me, she was fading again.

Fortunately as Bella began to twitch Carlisle came in and rushed to her. " What's going on?" He asked curiously and somewhat concerned, but not as concerned as I was.

" I don't know, Carlisle... She's been like this for a while now." I admitted. Jasper walked over to where I was and sat on the ground watching Bella. I looked back at Jasper and couldn't understand why he was so calm unlike everybody else.

" Um, Edward..." Carlisle paused.

" What, Carlisle?" I asked curiously. He shook his head and sighed.

" Nothing, Bella's going to be okay... Her bodies trying to reject the venom, but luckily by injecting more, the process should by very fast." He smiled content, then looked back at Bella and sighed again.

" There's something else wrong with her..." I assumed looking at his troubled face.

" It's a slight problem.... Don't get mad at Jasper for this... he didn't know." Carlisle said softly and moved his hand towards my shoulder. I was so confused.

" What's the problem?" I asked.

" She was pregnant. That's part of the reason Bella was so sick all the time. Alice saw it, and it was just confirmed in the test I ran over." He handed me the papers and did not grab ahold of them. I watched them fall to the ground and then turned my head towards Bella. She was unbearable to look at, and knowing that are unborn child was poisoned and killed by the venom my own brother had injected into Bella's blood stream made it all the more harder. He had no business touching her . I would kill him. I turned my face towards Jaspers, and began to bite my tongue. He had betrayed me, stabbed me in the back. And it was not only going to upset me, but it was going to break Bella's heart too. And I knew exactly who to blame for her unhappiness.

" Jasper." I growled under my teeth and I knew he heard me.

"What?" He asked somewhat scared. I began to get my head start and ran straight towards Jasper. He backed away and Carlisle grabbed my arm tightly and wouldn't let go of his firm grip.

" What did I do?!" He now was yelling at me for my foolish attempt at an attack.

" Murderer!" I shouted out. Jasper looked at me confused and then looked towards Bella. I followed his gaze and shook my head.

" Edward, stop!" Carlisle said firmly holding my arm still. I pulled my arm out of his grip and scowled at Jasper once more." It was an accident." He admitted.

" I don't care, he should know!" I said moving myself towards Bella.

" Know what? That Bella's practically brain dead. I already know that!" He looked at me angry now.

" No, that you killed Bella and I's only child." I scoffed and turned away from him.

" You have an option or options." Carlisle spoke softly now, trying to get everyone to calm down.

" What options could I possibly have?" I asked confused and began to breath out slowly.

" I could inject more venom into her blood stream, it will let the change happen and bring Bella back to life. Or I could try and suck whatever venom is left and let her be human again and possibly save the baby." He said looking at Bella. " But times running out so choose fast." He begged.

" If you suck the venom out? Can you guarantee the baby will be alive and, Bella too?" I asked. But he nodded his head no. Nothing was going my way today. I had two options, let Bella become a vampire like she's wanted her whole life, or suck the venom out and not being able to guarantee that both my child and my wife survive. Maybe if this baby was anything like a vampire, it would stay strong and survive the venom.. Maybe Carlisle for once was wrong. I needed to prove it. " Inject more venom." I asked politely and went Bella's side. Her eyes beautiful brown eyes were fading to a bright red. They were focused on me and she was most certainly moving her body, but I doubt she could see me. If this didn't go well.. how could I possibly tell her that her child was dead. It was going to be most certainly a tough day.

" Bella." I whispered directly into her ear. " I promised I would get you out of this, and I'm going to keep that promise, I'm not giving you up that easily." I smiled slightly and kissed her cheek and putting my hand gently over her stomach and could feel a slight kick. It made my hand twitch and I moved my attention to her abdomen. Did I really want him to do this? I was so unsure about everything. " Carlisle, it's moving." I warned.

Carlisle looked at me and sighed." Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Carlisle asked me once again.

" I'm sure." I said quietly. " If it's anything like it's mother, it won't go through with this, with out a fight." Carlisle nodded and injected the shot with venom into her arm. Her body jolted and she began to move.

" Bella!" I shouted, watching her eyes go back into her head... She was suffering enough. I felt absolutely horrible. " Bella..." I froze and saw her lips trying to move.

" e-Edward." She spoke in a whisper.

" I'm here, love. I'm here." There was sudden silence in the room and Bella looked weak.

" Bella, how do you feel?" Carlisle asked.

" In pain." She admitted slowly and put her hand around her abdomen. " What was that?" she asked scared, and confused. I didn't answer her, but looked away.


	6. Controversy

**Edward's POV**

Bella looked confused, tired, and in pain. I felt like picking her up and taking her away from all of this. This was mostly my fault anyway. If I didn't leave her then Jasper would've never came here and have done this. " Bella" I spoke softly and removed her wet bangs from her eyes and kissed her gently. I loved her so much.

" Edward, what's wrong with me?" She struggled to ask.

" Shh... Nothing's wrong with you, Bella. You're perfect." I smiled at how beautiful she was. " But you need to rest, love." I admitted and laid her back gently. She nodded and closed her eyes. I couldn't believe it, she would become a vampire in a short matter of time. This is what she was waiting for ever since I told her my secret. This is what she wanted. I hated to tell her, but being vampire isn't all it's cracked up to be. I wish I could've died back in 1918, but fate had other plans in mind for me.

I got up from where I was sitting and walked to Carlisle who was with Jasper by the front. "How's Bella?" Carlisle asked.

" She's fine." I looked back at her, still sleeping soundly on the couch. " What I am supposed to say to Bella?" I asked.

" We don't know if it's dead for a fact." He patted my shoulder and I moved it away and looked at Jasper. He looked guilty. It'd be foolish not to be. A vampire without a conscience, those are the ones to be afraid of. He pulled me aside quickly and looked apologetic.

" Edward, I'm so sorry." He said gently and sighed. " But listen, Alice called an-"

" Did she see Bella in any of her visions?" I asked, even though he was thinking about it a lot in his mind.

" Yes......" He stopped and looked away from me.

" Jasper, please tell me this worked.." I begged, my voice becoming raspy as I asked him.

" The venom, is too much for it... This is all my fault.." He looked extremely disturbed. I ran to Carlisle.

" Carlisle, can you save it?" I asked now in agony. " Save Bella from immortality?" I added.

" We just injected the venom.. it's still flowing through her veins... so it's quite possible. Yes..." He paused and looked at Bella. He walked towards her and I followed him.

" Bella..." I whispered in her ear. She opened her eyes quickly and turned her head slowly towards me.

" What's wrong?" She asked. The features on her face slightly troubled.

I sighed and knew I had to tell her the absolute truth. She would be mad at me for doing this, but would she be so mad if I told her my reason for reviving her? So many questions that would be unanswered.. It was driving me insane. I would surely lose it if... If.. she was mad at me for the rest of my life for breaking my promise again. I could always turn her after the child was born, but would I be able to do it? For her I'm sure I would... my life depended on this woman.

" Bella." I said again and she continued to stare at me. " We're going to get the venom out of your system." I sighed watching her now upset.

" What?!" She panicked and pushed Carlisle away from her. " No, please don't! I want to be with you forever." She said a tear running down the side of her pale cheeks and her upper lip began to tremble. I could tell she didn't want to go through with this again, but I couldn't blame... it was painful enough, you body feeling like it's completely on fire.

" And you will... just not right now." I admitted and smiled slightly and I held onto her hand tightly.

" Times running out." Carlisle warned.

" Why? Why are you doing this?" She asked confused, her voice still in agony.

" I will tell you later." I assured her. " Now's not a good time." I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head to Carlisle. He held her down so she wouldn't struggle so much. I put my mouth to her neck and began to suck out the venom. This wouldn't have been my first time doing this. So, it made the job much more easier. I began to suck out the venom quickly and could taste her blood... It was so invigorating to me, it made almost impossible for me to keep control of my thoughts, or concentrate. The venom hadn't completely taken over my Bella quite yet... and I wouldn't let it happen just yet. I could hear Bella... groan, and gasp for air. She was utterly upset, but that would change in a short time.

" Her blood's clean, Edward." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder telling me to stop. I released my mouth and breathed out deeply. Bella and her baby were both safe.

" Is that it?" I asked slightly surprised at how easy that was for me.

" That's it." Carlisle confirmed and smiled very content with his work. I looked back to Bella and saw her breathing began to slow down.

" Bella?" I asked looking at her. I saw she was crying silently. She was upset.

" Why did you do that, Edward?" She asked her voice sounded like the voice of an angel. It broke my heart listening and watching her becoming more upset.

" I know this is what you wanted, but there was a slight change in plans when we found out something really important going on with you." I smiled slightly.

" What?" She questioned and she was totally confused.

" Well, you're.. .pregnant." Her face lit up. No more confusion, no more disappointment, just complete happiness, and shock. It made me laugh.

" So, you were saving it?" She asked. I nodded. " Thank you." She whispered and smiled. I kissed her gently and could feel her smiling underneath it. She wrapped her arms around me weakly. She seemed weak. So, I picked her up gently and carried her to the bedroom and laid her down softly, tucking her in and watching her fall asleep again. My fragile little Bella. She was mine... and I was her's.

I walked back into the living room where Carlisle was standing and breathed out relieved. " Carlisle..." I paused at looked at him. " Thank you, for everything. You saved Bella, and the baby." He smiled at my gratitude towards his work. He was an amazing man, and father. He patted my shoulder once again and hugged me strongly again.

" You're welcome, Edward. Congratulations." He was proud of me and I was proud of Bella for hanging in so long, even though she was in terrible pain. It's amazing what the Cullen family can do when they have each other by their side. I said goodbye to Carlisle and sat on the couch and began to think. There's was so much to think about at a time like this, but I needed to confront my brother about some things first. It was late and I'm sure they didn't mind me coming over, they missed Bella and I's company, but Bella would not be able to come with me... She was still recovering from the venom and a slight loss of blood because Jasper went ahead and attacked her for no good apparent reason.

This would be an easy conversation between me and him, because we never fight... no matter what the problem we could always talk to each other. But this would be slightly different, I needed to tell him something that might be a little hard for him to do. Stay away from my dearest Bella for her own protection. He might agree and might disagree either one wouldn't really matter.I would make sure he stayed away.

I'm sorry it's short... but I had writers block.. so it makes this all the more harder to write.. keep reviewing!


	7. Face To Face

**Jasper's POV**

As I walked into the wintery night, I was walking further away from Bella, it would've been better that way. I planned never to come close to her again. Her sweet cherry blossom scent drove me insane, just like her blood had. What was I becoming? It only made everything all the more harder since I could feel what everybody else was feeling. Grief, disappointment, anger.

All those emotions were twisted and combined into one. My soul and heart couldn't take it. The pain was just as bad as sticking a knife through your heart. You felt numb, not knowing what else to feel. What I felt that was my own emotion was guilt, and sorrow. I loved Bella with a passion, but so did my brother. I was too late to tell her how I really felt.

Like it mattered anyway? She was with her soul mate, that's who she wanted to be with for an eternity. I walked deeper into the snow, as I reached my car slightly depressed and drove back home.... How could I be able to face Alice with this horrible situation? She knew I was cheating, and knew it failed miserably. Would she be mad, or relieved,or.... I could never tell with her. She was always so perky. But as soon as I step foot in the house, I'm sure I'd know. I don't think I need my senses to tell if she was angry or not.

As I drove closer and closer to home, my stomach began to ache. I was absolutely scared of everybody's reactions tonight. I couldn't take it. I pulled in the front and my hands began to shake as I gripped onto the wheel of the car, slightly denting it as my fingers began to grasp it tighter. This was going to be a long night, and the worse part of it was, I couldn't sleep through it, I'd be up all night listening to everybody yell at me.

I could see it now in my head. This is what I get for being a monster. I turned off the car and sat there, thinking of ways to get out of it, maybe running away, but that wouldn't solve anything. Just make it worse, and Alice would see it happening before I was on my way out of Forks. Was there no solution to ending this nightmare? That would be a no. "Stupid attractive Bella." I muttered to myself. But no one was to be blamed except me.

I got out of the car and slammed the car door shut, hearing the glass shatter slightly, but not break. I walked slowly up the front steps and hesitated whether or not to open the door. I remembered Edward's words before. 'Alice is at home worrying about you.' Maybe she wasn't mad. Or what Edward truly said was. ' Go home, Alice will kick your butt and slap you in the face when you get there.' and then something about not coming within a radius of Bella. I could've easily been hallucinating, I couldn't trust what he was saying was true. He could've said anything to me at that moment and me think it was something different.

Maybe I could calm down Alice's emotions, if she'd let me touch her shoulder. She was going to need it. I opened the door slowly and heard nothing but silence. That scared me utterly, it wasn't even funny. I walked in further still waiting for someone to scream out and yell.

" Um, hello?" I asked out loud and then put my hand over my mouth quickly. What the heck was I thinking? Suddenly I began to shudder as I heard small gasps every couple of seconds. Crying maybe? Oh no... My eyes stared out in the darkness widely. I was so dead. I looked over to find my small black haired angel crying on the step, waiting for me to get home in agony, despair. " Alice?" I asked curiously and somewhat depressed still.

" Jasper?" She looked up at me and her eyes were glistening in the light as I turned them on to see her clearly.

" Alice, I'm so-" Before I got a chance to finish my sentence, she hit my left cheek forcefully in anger... She was mad.

" Why?!" She asked disturbed to look at me and looked away.

" Alice, please.." I begged with sad eyes as well from seeing her upset features. I had never seen her depressed before.

" No, you didn't' answer my question." She admitted to me in agony. " Why?" She asked again wiping away a few tears from her eyes every now and then.

" Alice, I love you..." I said, knowing that somewhat was true, those feelings I had for her, but stupidly enough I let those feelings go and let someone else take a hold of me.

" Do- Don't go there, please, don't go there." She put her hand in front of my face and moved herself away from me.

" Why aren't you with Bella?" She asked still having tears rush down the side of her face. " You'll be happy with her." She added.

" No I won't..." I started to say slowly.

" Why not?" She asked confused.

" Because, she's not you." I moved closer to where she was standing and wrapped one of my arms around her waist and kissed her softly. The smell of her breath astounded me, she was gentle, and beautiful, like Bella. I shuttered and she did as well. Her cold dry lips were removed from mine.

" But, I saw everything all in my head. You kissing her, and then her being confused... you bit her, didn't you?" She questioned me, so confused.

" I did." I sighed and began to shake thinking about it. " Her blood... it's not that easy too resist. Edward, did describe it perfectly... she was just like a drug, but she's Edward's... not mine... You're mine." I admitted and held her close to me, but she pushed herself from me and sat on the step closest to her.

"I need to think about this for a while." She said taking small intakes of air and I could tell she was trying to keep her self from hyperventilating from depression. I sighed looking at her grief stricken face and walked up to my room slowly and trying so hard to keep all my tears inside. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be though, so I wasn't as overwhelmed with emotions, just depression, which I was already feeling before I saw Alice, mad at me. I opened my door, shut, and locked it behind me. I sat in the small corner of my room, hitting my head against the wall. I had cracked it, but I didn't care. I was in too much pain to care about anything anymore. All I could think in my head was....

_This is what you get. It's all your fault, Jasper._

I just cheated on my wife, with my brother's wife. I most certainly was becoming something. As I sat there, I began to think about Alice and I... everything we shared together, every moment we had, the first day we met at the cafe, I couldn't have spotted my eyes on anything more beautiful in my life. She was perfect. And then when I attacked Bella around her 18th birthday... Alice got me through it. It wasn't the easiest task, but she knew that, and she still helped me. I began to hit my head against the wall again. " I lost everything I ever once held dear... Alice, I'm so sorry." I could feel a tear down my cheek. This would be the first time I've cried in ages.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, I was hoping that it would be Alice. " Alice?" I asked wiping away my tears.

" No, it's Edward... Open up!" He yelled and tried to open the door, but I had locked it. I got up and unlocked the door and waited for Edward to face me. What did he want from me?" I need to tell you something..." He pointed his finger in my direction and I could tell he was angry at me, but what else was knew?

" Okay, what is it? and if it's about staying away from Bella, I already plan to do that. Edward, I'm so sorry." I admitted and sighed.

" I know you are, but please just stay away from Bella, for both our sakes." He sighed and closed the door behind him, slamming it shut. Everybody was mad. That wasn't very hard to guess. Maybe if I left, no one would care, or notice. It seemed like the only logical thing to do at a time like this, to leave. It would make me feel a whole lot better, but was I doing the right thing? So much trouble in the family, and I was the reason for it.

Of course no one would be mad at Bella, even though she had as much part in this as I did, but she had Edward, Carlisle, and the rest of the family in her favor. So, she had me beat. I got up from where I was sitting and grabbed some stationary and a pen, and began to write a note. It was for Alice... and if I knew Alice, she would show it to the rest of the family and they would grow worried. I didn't care, this is what my heart was telling me do, even though it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to just leave a family I've been with my whole life.

I finished writing and headed towards the window and began to open it swiftly and sneak out. As soon as I stepped foot outside the wind blowing against my face made it easier for me to think clearly now. I began to run into the woods, trying not to make any unnecessary noise. I kept going and going, I couldn't stop, there was no turning back after this. I would officially be leaving Forks by the time it hit morning.

Where could I possibly go? Visit an old friend? I didn't know who to go to that wouldn't tell my family where I was. Alice would know where to find me if it was someone familiar. Then it hit me, I would go to the one person I know my family would not recognize and have never met before. She was the one who turned me. I would go to Maria she could help me in my time of need. How could I find her? I couldn't possibly trace her down, or could I? It didn't matter I had to keep running before Alice could figure out I was already gone. Italy was my only other option. Not a very good one. I had no choice. I would have to go there, I could find help there.


	8. Time waisted

**Bella's POV**

It was late, late in the evening. I was still in bed resting... It had been a week since the incident. I still felt horrendously guilty and sad for Jasper. It made me wonder what happened to him after that night. He just disappeared. I forgot that Alice was suppose to be coming over soon. I got up from bed, my legs still weak, but also very pale. I propped myself up and held onto the edge of the dresser leaning my weight on it every now and then. " Edward." I called out, my voice finally strong again. There was no reply, just complete silence. I decided to walk towards the front.

I opened up my bedroom door and walked in the hallway and heard Edward's voice, and someone else's as well. That must have been Alice. I walked further down the hallway and could hear their conversation clearly now. " Bella has just as much fault in this, Edward. You do realize that don't you?" She asked.

" Yes." He replied. I began to grow confused. They were talking about Jasper? That wasn't my fault. Jasper came to my door the night Edward left and he told me his true feelings. Yeah, I let him kiss me and that was absolutely wrong, but I thought that Edward and I were over. I had to walk into the conversation sooner or later. I began to move closer to where Alice and Edward were, but I still kept myself hidden. My muscle's began to tense and my heart began to race faster and faster. I stopped though hearing Alice whimper softly and saw Edward go comfort her. He kissed the top of her head. What was that? I grew jealous, but I knew Edward wouldn't do that. There was no way he was that low. I began to watch in more closely and carefully. " Alice, relax." Edward spoke softly and rubbed her shoulders. That made me less content.

" How can I?" She asked her voice trembling.

" I will help you get through this." He promised her. She began to move closer to him. This was not going to end well. She began to pucker her lips and Edward did not push her away, he did the same thing she did. He began to kiss softly and pecked her on her lips every few seconds. My eyes went wide in horror and shock. I had to end it, I had to end this. I ran quickly back to my room not caring if they heard my footsteps or not. I grabbed a couple suitcases that were mine from the closet and I also grabbed my backpack from my dresser and began to pack all of my clothes into them, zipping up each one as they grew to be too full. I put my phone in my backpack and a couple hundred dollar bills my dad gave me in case I ever needed to get out of the house or something. I took off my wedding ring and buried it in my jean pocket. I began to walk out and back to hallway, I was stupid to do that.

The moment I walked back out Edward's shirt was off and they still had been kissing each other. That very moment made me gasps in surprise, it caused Alice and Edward to both look back and see me there, tears pouring out of my eyes and me running back to the room. I grabbed my backpack and put it over my arms and my back was supporting it. I grabbed a couple of my suitcases and dragged them outside to my car and stuffed them in the trunk. Edward stood there watching me getting on the verge of leaving. " Bella." He whispered softly as I came back in getting the last thing I needed and my car keys.

" No!" I yelled." Don't talk to me... Just leave me alone." I begged wiping tears away from my cheek. I grabbed my keys and the last bag and was already in my car. I didn't care that it was cold. I was too heartbroken to be concerned about my health. I slammed the car door shut and drove out of the driveway and pulled out my cell phone. I began to dial Charlie's number, and heard him pick up.

"_Bella?" _He asked confused and surprised to hear from me.

" Hey, Charlie." I smiled slightly, hearing his voice. But mine sounded so melancholy and he could tell something was not right.

_" What's wrong, Bells?" _He asked worried.

" Nothing's wrong." I lied and began to sniffle. " I just was wondering if I could come visit you... you know by myself." I added and knew that gave away everything.

_" Bella, what's going on. Don't you usually come to visit with Edward?" _He asked curiously. I began to laugh on the other line and tried to hold in tears.

" Yeah, he's not here at the moment. So, I thought I'd visit you... I miss you so much, Charlie... So, so much." I kept my voice calm and swallowed hard.

"_Do you need to spend the night, Bella?" _He asked.

" I would like that, very much." I smiled slightly. " I'll see you soon." I added and hung up the phone. I then began to cry silently in the car. I turned on the heat because it grew cold in the car. I breathed out gently and turned on some music. It was a cd Edward burned for me to listen to. I turned it down and stared out the window emotionless, I finally arrived at my dad's place and pulled on the side of the road and parked. I got out and ran to the front of my old home. It felt good to be here again. I knocked on the door and rang the doorbell. Charlie opened the door slowly and saw the tears rushing down my face. He hugged me quickly and brought me inside.

" Bells, what's going on?" He asked.

" Edward cheated on me. It's over, Charlie." I admitted and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

" Aww, Bella." He began to pat my shoulder gently and held me close to him. I missed my dad. He was truly the best.

" Dad, I don't know what to do." I sighed and held in the rest of the tears I had left. " I don't have anywhere else to go." I began to shake.

" Bella," He looked into my eyes," you can stay here as long as you want. I'm not going to kick you out." He began to get up and towards the door. " Do you have any stuff you wanna bring in?" He asked curiously standing in the doorway.

" Um, yeah." I said getting up and moving my things back to my old bedroom. I unpacked so many things from my bags. I must've brought everything back here. I finished up and put everything in my small closet and hid it in the closet. It was so quiet. I felt so alone, so unbelievably depressed. " Everything's alright, Bella." I kept saying to myself, I kept lying to myself to make me calmer. It worked, but only for a short while. I began to hyperventilate, feeling so frightened, so unlike myself. This wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

My phone began to ring. I didn't dare look to see who it was, but I was weak. My eyes caught ahold of who was calling. It was Jake. I didn''t really like talking to anyone right now. It was not the best idea. I picked it up and hesitated on answering, but did anyway. " Hello?" I said quietly.

_" Bella, are you okay?" _Jake asked concerned.

" Yeah, I'm just fine." I lied again. I didn't really understand why I kept lying. I mean, people already knew what had happened. In small towns things get out quickly.

_" Are you sure? My dad was telling me what happened. Well, not everything... I mean, he told me you and Edward broke up. Come on, Bells... I know you were crazy in love with him. You have to be feeling something, and you haven't been returning any of my calls. So, I thought I'd call you to see if you wanted to talk." _

" Actually, Jake. I was crazy in love with him, thank you and I am feeling something and I don't think you want to know what emotion I'm feeling right now is... and I don't need you reminding me about him, okay?! Listen, I just don't need this right now. I don't need anybody." I began to cry and pushed my hair back gently.

_" Well, you have to need somebody, Bells. And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. It was absolutely wrong of me to do that. Bella, do you want me to come over?" _He asked, his voice filled with sympathy.

" Um, nows not a good time.... I mean, I'm not at my new house anymore." I sighed.

_" Well, where are you staying?" _He asked curiously.

" I'm back home with Charlie." I shrugged my shoulders and sighed in embarrassment.

_" Seriously, Bells? You could've just called me and asked to sleep over." _He laughed.

" Jake, it's not funny!" I began to chuckle with him. " He's my dad... besides, I might be staying here for a while. So, I don't think sleeping over your house would be the best solution." I admitted wearily.

_" How long do you plan on staying there?" _He asked.

" I don't know, maybe a couple of months... at least until I can afford my own place. I'm going to miss that home." I sighed and stared off at my wall.

_" I know you will, Bella. Well, um.. if you're not too upset to do anything, maybe we could go out and eat... you know just you and me. And afterwards, we can hang out by La push Beach. You know where we use to hang." _He began to stutter.

" Um, sure.. that sounds nice, but it's not a date!" I corrected him before he said anything else.

_" I know that. So, say tomorrow night?" _He asked curiously. I smiled and nodded my head.

" Yes, see you. I have to go to bed now." I smiled at peace finally, and the tears stopping.

_" Alright, Bella. I'll be seeing you, but you have to promise you'll be safe... and try not to hurt yourself before tomorrow night, please?" _ He begged.

" Alright, I promise." I laughed slightly and picked up my picture of Jake that was sitting next to me.

_" Goodnight." _He said quietly.

" Goodnight." I replied and hung up my phone and placed it next. Jake was a good part of my life, and whenever I felt like this, he was there to help. I breathed out calmly and closed my eyes. unfortunately it took me longer to fall asleep. I cried every now and then in the middle of the night also. Trying to fall asleep was the hardest thing for me, but it wasn't the most impossible. I eventually dosed off and fell asleep, but tomorrow came sooner than I thought.

" Bella, wake up." Charlie begged, jostling my shoulders every few seconds. I rolled over on my other side and looked up at Charlie. He moved his hand towards the lights, which made me squint my eyes to block it out.

" Alright, Charlie. I'm up, I'm up." I shouted and began to groan. I moved my eyes over to my clock and it read ' 7:00 A.M.' I then slammed my head against my pillow. I was so tired.

" How are you feeling?" He asked worryingly.

" I'm better." I admitted closing my eyes again. " May I ask why I'm getting up so early?"

" I made you breakfast." He smiled slightly.

" Alright, well I'll be down soon." I promise and walked over to turn off my lights and went back to sleep.


	9. The Beginning of a New Life

It was three in the afternoon, and I was finally wide awake. Jake and I's plans didn't start till later tonight. So, I grabbed my keys, my cell phone, and my jacket and headed out the door. Luckily, I didn't need Charlie's approval on where to go anymore, because I was much older now. I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway and went to Las Push. It was at least an hour journey. Not including stopping for gas along the way, but I already knew where to go. I arrived at a small beach and pulled into the parking lot. This was normally the place I would go to think. The noise of the waves crashing down was the most calming thing in the world.

I got out and walked to the big tree I always was around. It was the best place to be. The wind blew across my face, causing me to close my eyes slowly and breathed. I sat against the trunk of the tree and let out a sigh and began to relax myself. There was a cold feeling that came to my shoulder, and it made it almost impossible to relax. I looked up and saw Jasper standing right beside me. " Jasper?" I asked, surprised, and confused. I began to smile and jumped up from to hug him.

He embraced my hug and began to laugh and I could feel him kiss the top of my head. " Hey, Bella." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

" Hey... What are you doing here?" I asked looking around The wind blowing roughly now.

" I was looking for you, and what are you doing here?" He asked smiling confused.

" Oh, I um came here for some peace and quiet. It's actually helping me." I admitted.

" So, you came here?" He was now laughing.

" Yeah, it really peaceful over here." I laughed slightly and then sat back down, and he sat down as well right next to me. " So, how are you?" I asked calmer now.

" I'm fine, I missed you a lot." He said quietly.

" I missed you too. Where'd you go? I mean, you were gone for over a week." I admitted and looked upset.

" I was in Italy. I needed to find some answers. I'm sorry I left you, I didn't think I'd be missed after everything that went on that night." He shrugged his shoulders.

" Well, I did miss you. You should come hang out with me, I've been really lonely lately." I sighed and he looked at me concerned.

" Are you alright?" Jasper asked, laying his hand over mind. Did he not know about what happened? I couldn't tell him, my heart wouldn't let me.

" Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. " Did you hear about Alice and Edward?" I asked curiously.

" Yes, I heard. I'm so terribly sorry about that, Bella. You have no idea." I looked at him confused again. He was involved in this too. Alice was cheating on him, and Edward was cheating on me. I needed answers myself, but I needed them from him.

" Well, aren't you mad?" I asked.

" I was at first, when I found out. But I was okay after a while. I went to Italy, and found and old friend of mine, Maria. She had a few tricks up her sleeve just like Alice, Edward, and I. She can see the future. So, I asked her about my future and she said that she didn't see me with Alice anymore, she saw me with someone else, she saw me with you." He smiled and rubbed the back of my hand with the tip of his thumb. " And it got me thinking. I want to spend my life with you, Bella. I love you." He said in a whisper and looked away from me. " But, why not. You and I are both free to do what we please. I'm moving on, and I know who to move on with." My heart began to beat faster , and my breathing grew heavier. He was so amazing, and he was right, I could move on, I didn't have to stop my life because Edward left, and Jasper and I were both single. So, it wasn't wrong. Maybe it was destiny. I smiled at him and breathed out.

" I love you too." I said quietly and he looked up at me and kissed me gently and passionately. I could tell he was smiling underneath the kiss, and it only made my heart beat faster and faster. I blocked everything, but him and I out. We talked for hours and hours at time. I enjoyed my time with him because he made me feel happy all the time. He kissed me again and then looked at me.

" You're amazing." He said quietly

I looked at him slowly and smiled. Then sighed realizing the time. It was past 6:00, it was way longer than I planned to stay for. I got up and watched him sigh as well. " Hey, listen. I have to go. Charlie doesn't exactly know I'm here right now, and it won't be long before he flips out. I will see you later. I love you." I said and he got up and kissed me quickly.

" I understand. I will see you later, Bella." He smiled and walked to his car. I followed and got into my car and drove back home. I couldn't believe what just happened. It like I was dreaming, but I knew I wasn't. This was all real. I arrived at home an hour later and saw Charlie standing in the door way. He looked angry, that wasn't a surprise. I stopped the car and got out. I could hear Charlie's foot tapping on the ground anxiously.

" Bella, where have you been?" He asked trying to hold it together.

" I was hanging out with Jasper by the beach." I said smiling slightly. " Why does it matter?" I asked confused and walked inside.

" Um..." Was the only thing coming out of his mouth.

" Dad, Jake's coming over to hang out tonight. Hope that's alright." I sat on the couch and breathed out.

" That's fine, you know Jake's always welcome here." He smiled

****************************

I put my hair up in a pony and put on my jacket. Jacob was already waiting in the front for me. It had grown warmer, and that was a sign that winter was ending. Considering it's the first of January. I kept rushing myself and notice Jake was was anxious too. I had to tell him about Jasper. I don't think he would necessarily be happy about that, but I didn't care. I had to tell somebody. I ran down the stairs and was careful that I didn't trip. I was so accident prone it wasn't funny. I saw Jacob and ran to hug him. " Hey, Jake." I smiled. " You look nice." I admitted seeing him in a white t-shirt and wholly jeans.

" Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself." He laughed. " So, you ready to go?" He asked.

" Yeah, I am." I smiled and walked outside. It was absolutely beautiful considering it was night and the beginning of January in Forks. Jake opened the car door for me and smiled. I got in and shut the door on my own and waited for Jake to get in.

He started the car and smiled at me. "So, how are you feeling?" He asked curiously.

" I'm feeling good." I smiled. " Jasper and I..." I began to say, but stopped. I didn't know how he would react.

" Yeah....." He asked.

" We're together." I said quietly and watched Jake's muscles tense up. " You're not mad, are you?" I asked concerned.

" No, I'm not.... But that seemed like you got over that fast." I didn't really understand. " But whatever." He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

" So, where are we going?" I changed the subject quickly.

" The place always used to hang out at. I think you know where that is." He admitted and smiled slightly.

" The tree?" I asked and he nodded. We always use to go there together when we wanted to talk. That's where I went earlier today, and also where Jasper and I sat and talked for over 3 hours. I stared out the window and sighed.

" Someone's hiding something." He admitted and began to laugh. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

" It's nothing." I mumbled under my breath.

" Well, you can tell me when we get to the beach." He demanded.

" Fine." I sighed. It didn't take us long to get their. It seemed like it was only a matter of minutes before we were pulling up to the beach parking lot. I unbuckled my seat belt and got out. Jake did the same and walked down the sandy concrete steps that led to the beaches shore. " So, tell me. What's been going on with you, Bella?" He asked.

" Um, well... My x-husband cheated on me, I'm pregnant, and on top of that I have to live with Charlie, possibly for the rest of the year. It depends on what happens." I began to clutch my hands over my abdomen.

" Bella." He looked at me with sad eyes and hugged me. " Why'd he do that to you?" He asked angrily.

" I don't know, but what I do know, is that I don't even want to see his face again. I'd be surprised to see him show up and apologize. It doesn't mean I would forgive him though." I laughed and began to sigh. Jake put his arm gently around me.

" It will be okay, Bella. You still Have Charlie, Jasper, and I. People who care about you very much." He smiled.

" I know, and I'm thankful for that." I smiled back and leaned my head against his shoulder. We sat alongside the sandy shores of La Push Beach and watched the sunset. The night sky was so beautiful. It was amazing, I never thought I could see the sky so beautiful at a time like this. I fell asleep leaning my head against his chest. The night went by so fast, by the time I woke up, I was already back in my room on my bed. I rubbed my head in confusion then began to laugh to myself and went back to sleep. This was the beginning of a new life. And with a son or daughter in the future. Maybe this life would be better. I could start over new with someone I love dearly.


	10. losing concentration

Bella's POV

April 17th: It had been four months since I talked to Edward. Jasper and I were were still together and were now engaged, and Jake I couldn't be more happier friends. Today was the hardest day. I had gotten terribly ill from being pregnant, and Carlisle said I was due soon. Which made me all the more cautious. Being pregnant with a vampire baby was making it harder for me to survive, it made me feel weaker as the days passed, like the life had been sucked out of me. Jasper had to leave to go somewhere for a little while, but he was suppose to back soon. I was laying in my bed and began to breath out gently and heard Jasper come to my side. When I looked up, I didn't really recognize who it was at first, but then I knew loud and clear it was Jasper. His hair had changed, it was a dark chocolate color and it was straggly, but short. It was cute and it made him look even better than before. " Jasper?" I asked shocked.

" Hey, Bella. How are you feeling?" He asked kissing me quickly then sat on the chair that was next to the bed.

" I'm alright." 'I admitted. " I feel sick though." I sat next to him and he put his arm around me and looked at me.

" Do you want me to get you something?" He asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine." I said calmly.

" Well, if you need anything, let me know alright, baby?" He smiled slightly and kissed my cheek. I began to cuddle up with him and breathed out. He rubbed my shoulders and I began to feel relaxed. But it wasn't too long after that I began to feel faint and their was a slight pain in the pit of my stomach. I began to flinch and then moaned. " Bella?" He looked at me concerned and put his hand over mine. " Are you alright?" He asked looking at me now. I couldn't speak only gasp and scream in pain. " Alright, Bella, I'm going to take you to Carlisle." He picked me up and ran to the car and laid me in the back. He got in the front and speeded off to Carlisle's. " How are you hanging in?" Jasper asked.

" It hurts." I groaned and clutched my hands over my stomach tightly.

" Well, just keep holding on, Bella." He said holding onto my hand and driving with the other. Finally we arrived at the Cullen's. I could tell that Jasper wasn't too comfortable seeing them again. But family is family not matter what. He got out of the car and picked me up again and ran me inside. " Carlisle!" He called out, but no one answered. I was feeling the worst pain I'd ever felt. " Carlisle!" He shouted out again in agony.

" I'm here." Carlisle said very calmly and rushed Jasper and I. " What's going on?" He asked concerned.

" I think Bella's going into labor." Jasper handed me to Carlisle, and Carlisle laid m gently on the bed in his office room. I could feel it. My ribs were breaking from the inside out, which made me scream again. I would trade this pain for anything, it was absolutely horrifying. This was it... the day I finally became a mother. The mother of Edward's child. Jasper promised me he would help me take care of it as if it was his own. He would help me through this.

Jasper ran to my side and held my hand. " Just breath, Bella." Jasper begged and removed stray bangs from my face and smiled slightly. unfortunately I couldn't breath at all. My heart was giving out, and the pain continued through my entire body. It was worse than the vampire venom that was injected into my veins a couple months ago. The most important thing I was thinking inside my head was, would I make it out?

" She's right on time." Carlisle said softly and grabbed some small silver tools from his drawers. " Get the morphine." He instructed to Jasper. Jasper ran quickly out of the room and then came back within another second and handed it to Carlisle. " Bella, breathing in and out will help the process go by faster." Carlisle admitted and injected the morphine into my arm. I went numb after, I could barely move let alone speak, and there was so much I wanted to say. Shortly after the medication, I felt a burning sensation in my chest. I began to scream out again, the only thing I could do.

" Bella, shh.." Jasper said quietly and began to rub the side of my hand. " Just breath." He said once more. I'm not sure he new what he was doing .. or at least how much it hurt. I could barely breath. The pain came again, the kicking against my stomach. I began to cry silently and stared anxiously at the ceiling, feeling like I was paralyzed. I began groan and ache. This was a nightmare that would surely never end. "Jasper!" I screamed.

" I'm here, I'm here." He said quietly, kissing my cheek every couple minutes to calm me. Carlisle came back and injected more morphine into my arm. I could feel the prick in my skin. It hurt, but I was worried about far greater things than that. I looked around, Carlisle, Jasper, and now Edward was in the room.

" What's going on?" Edward asked concerned.

" She's having this baby tonight." Jasper said still at my side holding tightly onto my hand.

" Bella, you need to push now." Carlisle asked. I nodded and began to do so. The pain was unlike any other, I burned, and felt numb. I couldn't breath, or move. I was stuck in place. Everything began to blur and darken.

" Again." Carlisle said calmly. I pushed harder and the tears began to pour out. It was absolute agony being in this position. Being scared didn't help the situation either. This went on for over an hour. I was sore, tired, and numb still. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I couldn't feel anyone touch me, my hearing was going in and out at times as well. I was also losing my vision, but thankfully, I could breath again, and I didn't feel pain anymore, and I could hear baby cry's. it was over. I looked over my side and saw Carlisle cleaning the baby up and Jasper holding it. He cradled it in his arms and smiled.

" Does she have a name for her?" Carlisle asked Jasper.

" If it was a girl she was going to name it Anna." He smiled slightly.

" Let me see her." I begged them. Jasper handed her to me and I smiled. She was so beautiful. She had dark brown curls in her hair and had brown eyes. "Anna." I smiled and kissed her head and rubbed the side of her arm. " My baby girl." I began to cuddle her close to me. She fell asleep in my arms and Jasper handed her to Carlisle.

" Jasper." I looked at him with tears in my eyes. My head was sweaty as well as the rest of my body.

" Bella, you did good." He smiled and kissed my forehead and blotched it up with a wet washcloth. " Now sleep." He said quietly. I closed my eyes and drifted off.

********************

It had been days since I'd seen Anna and Jasper, or anyone. I was much better than I was before. I got up from the unfamiliar bed I was in and looked around. I was in different clothes. I was in shorts and a tang top. I walked down the stairs and saw Ann being held by each and every one of the Cullen's Jasper had the longest turn to hold her. He smiled looking at her. " Hello." I said quietly, and everybody looked over to me.

" Bella." Jasper said and walked slowly over towards me. He handed her to me and I began to rock her in my arms. She was so quiet and so beautiful. " Hey, Bella." Jasper kissed me quickly. I looked at him and he hugged me quickly. " How are you feeling?" He asked.

" I'm fine." I said quietly, kissing Anna's head.

" She so beautiful." Jasper smiled and put his arm around me. My head began to click to Charlie. How would I explain to him the early birth baby? Could I say that I had been pregnant since August? I had no idea what to do or what to say, but the Cullen's I know could help me get out of it.

" You're dad doesn't know about this, but you won't see him for a while until he gets back from vacation, so.." Jasper chuckled and breathed out content.

" Can we go home?" I asked. " Is everything alright with Anna?"

" Yes, she's just fine. She's as healthy as could be, and Carlisle's just about finished with you." He smiled and walked towards the door. " Carlisle said it was alright to go." I walked with the baby in my arm's and smiled. I walked out the door and into the car. Jasper drove us back to his home and we set the baby in the prepared crib once we got inside. I had grown so tired, and sore. Jasper began to rub my shoulders gently and I began to moan with pleasure. It felt absolutely amazing.

"Relax, baby." He whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek lightly. He picked me up and laid me on the couch and laid next to me. I began to sigh and buried my head in his chest.

" I something wrong?" He asked curiously.

" No, it's just.. I wish Anna was your's and not Edward's.

" I know, love... But I'll still help you raise her.. I won't let you go through this on your own." He smiled and kissed my cheek. I began to fall asleep in his arms, and the baby was luckily asleep, as well. " Sleep my precious, Bella." He whispered in my ear.


	11. Wedding Invitation

**Jasper's POV**

**Prologue- **The anger was settling deep inside my chest. Uneasiness filling my stomach. I began to hold onto Bella's hand tightly and nervously, she didn't hesitate to do exactly as I did either. I could feel both Bella's and I's emotion, and I could tell we were both nervous. None of my ideas have been good, but this was by far the worst idea I've had. I've never felt so much regret as I did now, walking into the white Ballroom. The only other thing that would make this harder, would be to face both the people I hated seeing the most. I looked at Bella and she immediately looked right back at me, tears filling her eyes as she caught sight of her past. I brought her close to me and began to feel the same pain she did. This was going to be a long night.

**August 20th-** Today was an uneasy day for Bella and I. Anna was giving us both a hard time, having Bella tired and out of breath, and me frustrated as could be, but we still both loved her so much. I got up from the bed slowly and quietly, so I wouldn't wake up Bella. That was the last thing I wanted to do today. I walked to the living room to see Anna on the couch sleeping as well. She tired herself out too much. I grabbed some blankets from the closet and put them over her gently, and kissed her head.

I grabbed some mail off the kitchen table and was rummaging through it. My eye caught notice of a special evnvelope. The front had both Bella and I's name printed on it. From the looks of the envelope, it was an invitation. I began to look at the paper confused. I was going to wait until Bella was up to read this. I tossed the envelope aside on the counter and heard Anna turn on her other side groaning a little. Anna had grown very much in the past five months. She already looked like she was six. She would stop growing like this in 7 years. Didn't seem like a long time before our daughter hit her teen years.

I moved slowly towards her and saw her flutter her eye lids open. " Daddy?" She whispered still disoriented. She looked exactly like her mother and had the same facial expressions, it made me chuckle.

" Be very quiet." I instructed to Anna politely. " Don't wake up mommy right now, she needs to rest." Anna nodded her head and hugged me gently. I wrapped my arms gently around her and smiled. I love Anna with my heart. She was Bella and I's little girl. She was irresistible, just like her mother. " How would you like to visit Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie?" I asked curiously with a smile on my face. She smiled too and nodded her head. She didn't want to speak because she didn't want to wake up her mom. " Let's go." I whispered and picked her up and got her shoes on. I was already dressed from last night, but I'm sure no one cared. I took Anna and placed her in her car seat and got in the front and drove off to Carlisle and Esme's. They were all suppose to be there today.

I arrived there a few minutes later and stopped the car and got Anna out of her car seat and brought her inside, seeing the door wasn't locked, and Rose and Emmett were sitting next to each other on the couch. They looked back at me and Anna and went to my side and Rosalie gently took Anna from my arms. " Hello, Anna." Rosalie touched Anna's noise gently and smiled.

" Hi, Auntie Rose." Anna replied quietly and that made me laugh.

" You can talk now, Anna." I smiled and chuckled under my breath. She began to laugh too realizing that she could talk. Rose hugged Anna and laughed with her.

" Where's Bella?" Emmett asked curiously and tickling Anna's cheek, causing her to laugh even more.

" She's sleeping, poor thing's all worn out." I began to bite my lip hoping she was alright alone.

" Have you been being good, Anna?" Emmett teased and smiled at Anna.

" Yep.." She said quickly and smiled her bright smile she knew everybody loved.

" So, what's been going on, Emmett? Anything new with the family?" I asked curiously.

" Um, the family's been running a muck because of Edward, and Alice, but other than that... nothing." He breathed out content.

" Alice and Edward?" I repeated in confusion. " Is everything alright with them... Is Alice okay?" I asked now... I didn't understand why I cared, I hated her mostly.

" Their fine." Emmett assured me. " I thought you knew?" He admitted as confused as I was.

" No." I said quietly clutching my fists together behind my back.

" Never mind, then." He smiled slightly. I now noticed Anna was reaching for me. I went to Rose and picked her up. She was so light, but I could say that.. I had vampire strength and Anna knew who and what she was too and the best thing is we didn't have to tell her she already knew she was partially a vampire. The only thing we didn't tell her that she doesn't know is who her real father is. Edward's name, regrettably came to my head and made me cringe. He was the exact definition of cruel. I looked at Anna and kissed her on her cheek. She giggled of course. She always did, she was such a happy little girl.

" Are Esme and Carlisle here?" I asked curiously, looking around behind Rose, and Emmett.

" Um, they went somewhere for a little while, not sure when they'll be back. We'll tell them you and Anna stopped by." He smiled.

" Thanks. I should probably get home to Bella before she wakes up. Don't want her to get scared to see we're not there." I said heading for the door and getting Anna set it. I got in the car and drove back home. When we got inside the house,It still looked and sounded peaceful as it did twenty minutes ago. I put Anna down by the couch, and walked to our bedroom to find Bella was missing. " Bella?" I called out curiously.

" Jazz." Her reply was gentle and sweet. I walked outside our room and saw Bella, her hair fixed up, no certain occasion, I assumed? But she still looked absolutely beautiful. She smiled seeing me.

" You look beautiful." I smiled and breathed heavily. She was so amazing.

" Thank you." She smiled still, moving her eyes over to Anna, then back to me.

" Hey, I think we got an invite to something, but I wanted to wait till you're up to open it." I admitted wearily.

" Where is it?" She asked looking over to the table and walking towards it.

" Oh, here." I went over to the counter and searched for the envelope with both our name's on it. I finally caught sight of it and tore the back of it open and pulled out the card. It was a wedding invite. This wasn't going to end well. I looked at Bella before I opened the card. She wasn't as worried as I, but she wasn't as content as before, either. I flipped it open with the tip of my thumb and my eyes went wide in agony. It was Alice and Edward's wedding. I gulped loudly and I could now feel Bella's emotions. There was pain and anger building up. I immediately touched Bella's shoulder to calm her down, but that didn't seem to be helping. Nor, was it helping me in any way. Why would they invite us? Were they that insecure about what had gone on in the past. I nearly rejected Alice when I saw her again, after hearing what she had done with Edward. It was sickening. " Bella?" I looked at her now, hoping to God that she was alright and not hurt, but my chances of that were slim.

I saw four or five tears fall down off her cheek and watched her in agony. " I'm fine." She said sniffling a few times.

" No, you're not." I said softly and held out my arms. She began to hug me and cried softly. She was terribly upset. I wanted so much to confront Edward. " I know, love... I know." I admitted and sighed. My poor Bella was miserable. I was so concerned about her. I wanted to go to the wedding, but only because half of my family and my friends were going to be there, knowing Edward and Alice.

" I want to go." Bella said wiping away her tears.

" Do you think they want us to bring Anna?" I asked curiously.

She began to look at me. " It's his daughter, I don't know why they wouldn't" She spoke in a whisper so Anna could not hear.

" Right." I agreed wearily.

" So, when is it?" She asked curiously, her tears now gone. I looked at the date and read it aloud.

" It's two weeks from now." I said scratching the top of my head in confusion. Nothing made sense anymore. " Bella, are you sure you're alright to go through with this?" I asked raising my eyebrow.

" I'm sure." She admitted. She was determined. That wasn't a good sign. Anna came rushing to me and I picked her up and kissed her and smiled. " Annie." My voice was playful. I called her Annie only when like to mess around with me like this. I began to tickle her and Bella joined in. I could hear the echoes of Anna's laughter. It was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. Today was alright, but I was still worried about Bella. She seemed, all at the same, eager and afraid to go. There was no doubt in my mind she was lying to me about how she was doing. I knew Bella very well.

I carried Anna to her small bed and laid her down. She looked more tired now than she had before. " Good night, Anna." I spoke softly and kissed her head.

" Good night, Daddy." She replied and fell asleep. I walked out quietly and shut the door behind me and worked my way over to Bella and began to kiss her softly. She did not hesitate to do it back. I pulled her arm and carried her away to the bedroom. We both knew where this was headed, but I also knew Bella was not in a good mood. She kissed me, but would go no further. I sighed and kissed her back.

" I love you." Bella whispered in my ear.

" I love you too." I replied and smiled rubbing her arm gently back and forth to sooth her.


	12. How Can you Lose the One You Love Most?

**Jasper's POV**

" Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" I asked firmly and somewhat confused.

" Yes, I'm sure." She said. Her face looking so much more determined than an hour ago. " Besides, I can tell you want to go." She admitted and shrugged her shoulders. She was doing all of this for me... I loved her so much, she was absolutely amazing. I kissed her quickly, but I didn't want her to be miserable when she went. I knew she felt like she was obligated to go. I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her.

" Bella, it's so sweet that you're doing this... but don't do this because I want to go, do it because you want to go... or else I'm just going to feel absolutely horrible. I hate seeing you miserable and you know that." I smiled pushing away a bang that fell in front of her eye lids. She began to kiss me and smiled underneath. I loved her so much, I couldn't even describe it. She pulled gently away from me and she smiled.

" I'll go." She said quietly and I noticed a smile and a tear falling off her cheek. I wiped it away for her and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

" Listen, Jessica called me about ten minutes ago. She wants me to meet her up in Port Angeles. I probably should be getting ready to go around 4, and it is 3 now. I should be back by six. If I'm not, call me, okay?" She asked, watching me sigh. I didn't want Bella to leave, but she had a life too. I nodded and smiled and got up to check on Anna. She was sound asleep, very peaceful in her small pink room. I shut her door silently behind me and sat on the couch, and watched Bella get ready. She was changing out of her clothes, completely ignoring the fact, that the door was open and I could see her bare back. I laughed and turned my head to give her, her privacy.

She then came out, wearing a black tank top, skinny jeans, and flip flops. " Nice." I smiled content.

" Thank you." She breathed out and smirked. The time passed and I saw it was 3:50 P.M. Bella already was grabbing her keys and headed out the door.

"Be safe." I shouted as she walked away.

" I will." She replied and drove off. I gulped loudly and clutched my fists together. I had to let her go, but I wasn't use to her going somewhere without me. We use to do everything together. But I still knew she had a life, and could do things on her own. I began to close my eyes, but there was no way I was going to fall asleep. I now heard screaming, and it came from Anna's room. I ran straight to her room, and saw her tossing and turning. I walked to her side and gently touched her shoulder. She began to calm down and looked at me.

" Bad dream?" I assumed, with my eyebrows raised. She nodded holding tightly onto her blanket scared. I picked her up and began to pat her back gently so she would feel alright again. She began to fall asleep in my arms, and I smiled kissing her forehead. I carried her to the living room and sat gently on the couch with her in my arms. She was my little angel.

******************

Anna was up now and I fed her, and watched her. It was passed 8:00 P.M and Bella was still not home, I tried calling her on her phone, but she would not pick up. this worried me... I was now picking up my phone again and called Jessica, to get to the bottom of this.

_" Hello?" _Jessica answered her voice worried. This was now scaring me.

" Jess, it's Jasper. Did you get a chance to meet up with Bella yet?" I asked curiously.

_" No, Jazz. I don't know where Bella is... I tried calling her four times on her phone, and she didn't answer." _My eyes were now wide in horror. I began to get my keys for my car and stood by the front door.

" I'm going to go look for her, Jess. Thank you." I said politely and hung up, then called Emmett.

"_Jazz?" _Emmett asked surprised.

" Yes, Emmett, could you come over here and watch Anna. I'm going to go look for Bella." I said calmly.

_" Why? Where is she?" _He asked somewhat concerned.

" I don't know, Emmett. That's why I'm going to go look for her, she said she would be home by 6, and she's not. Now, I don't have a lot of time, I'm begging you Emmett." I said wearily.

_" Alright, I'll be over there shortly." _He said hanging up. I slid my phone into my pocket and waited on the couch. It only took Emmet 4 minutes to get here. I got up anxiously. Emmett came to the door and opened it.

" Thanks, Emmett." I said quickly and ran out the door with my car keys. I got in and sped off to Port Angeles. I Finally got to Port Angeles and parked the car on the side of the street. How the heck was I going to find her if she got hurt? She could've been anywhere. I slammed the car door as it started to rain down hard, and began to run looking for her. Hours passed and still no sign of her. I began to think of what else I could do. What other solutions were there to solve this problem. I took out my phone and called the one person I knew could help, or at least I would try to get her to help me. I dialed the phone number and waited for her to pick up.

_" What do you want, Jasper?" _She asked bitterly. I ignored that and continued to walk.

" Alice, listen to me... Bella is in grave danger..... I think. In the last vision you saw of her in Port Angeles, where was she headed?" I asked my voice lingering in panic.

_" She was headed to the diner, but my vision stopped by an alley and everything went blank." _I began to breath out heavily. The only the diner I could think of in Port Angeles was the one by Jessica. I headed there, and looked for the closest alley. Finally I came across one after I passed the diner they were suppose to be at, and Bella's car not to far ahead of it. It was empty, I gulped loudly and a tear fell off of my face. I ran to the Dark Walled alley and sure enough, I saw Bella, but not how I planned to see her. I walked closer to her. I could not tell if she was breathing. It didn't occur to me at the time. The only thing I was focussing on was her. Bella's clothing was torn and ripped at and drench with water from the puddles on the ground. She was covered in dirt and mud, and head to toe covered in bloody cuts also staining what remainder of clothes she had left on her body. Her hair was tugged at and some was removed from her scalp and scattered on the ground. It was unbearable looking at her. I could tell she was dying. She did not flinch, she did not move. Completely still lying on the cold, hard ground.

I moved slowly towards her, picking her up, watching the expressions on her face, disturbed, in pain. She was so quiet, it had frightened me. " Bella." I whispered in he ear, knowing she could not hear me, and would not answer me. Her blood was over powering me, it was making me moan in agony. I couldn't take it. I began to shake holding her in my arms. Fighting the urge to kill her. My poor fragile Bella was depending on me to save her, to keep her heart going. I could tell my eyes were turning black. I had to keep myself from hurting her or anyone. I held Bella in one hand and I grabbed my phone and called Edward with the other.

_" Jasper, is everything alright?" _Edward asked concerned.

I nodded my head no quietly and began to speak. " No....Bella's dying.... She was raped." I whispered not able to hold in my anger for long.

_" What!?" _

" I'm taking her to Carlisle, see what he can do, but I need you to come over to Port Angeles and drive Bella's car home. I would do it myself, but I have to get her to Carlisle soon, before it's too late and I can't take Bella home, I don't want Anna seeing her like this." I sighed.

_" I'll be there for Bella when she gets to Carlisle, I'll take the woods path to Port Angeles and then drive it home. I need to see her." _He begged. That only made things worse. I didn't want him anywhere near my Bella.

" The keys are in the trunk." I whispered quietly and kissed Bella in my arms. I could taste the blood that was trickling down her cheek. It was sweet, like her. I shook my head so I would snap out of it. I began to take deep, heavy breaths. It calmed me, but it wasn't enough to get me through this. I hung up the phone and slid it back into my pocket. I opened up my car door and laid her in the back.

" Jasper." She barely was able to mumble along with another sentence, but I couldn't make it out.

" Just hang in, Bella. I'm going to get you out of this." I sped off as fast as the car would go, without getting her and I into a car accident. My eyes came across each and every sign that we passed, each leading me closer to Carlisle's. I could hear Bella moan in pain, fear. I could feel it, which only made it harder for me to control my emotions. Her eyes were slightly closing, and she looked dazed.

" Bella, hold on!" I begged my voice now in pain. I was crying, crying as much as my body would let me. I wasn't going to give her up. Not here. Not now. My hands began to clutch the wheel tighter and tighter. Finally what felt like hours, was only minutes and Bella was still trying to hold on. I stopped the car and ran quickly to get her and brought her up to the front door. I knocked loudly and quickly on the door waiting for an answer. The door suddenly opened, and it was Edward.

He took her quickly from me, and I heard a loud growl escape my cold, dry lips. " Take her to Carlisle." I begged my eyes filled with dreary. Edward nodded and ran with Bella in his arms upstairs to Carlisle's old office. I sat on the couch waited for her to be alright, everything back to normal. I'm afraid it would never be the same, Bella would never be the same, that is if she made it out of this. This was all my fault, I should've gone with her, otherwise she wouldn't have been raped. I began to tap my fingers loudly against each other in impatience. I grew tired, but I knew it was impossible for me to sleep. I stared at the floor and felt someone sit and move close to me. It was Alice. I looked at her quickly and sighed, then turned my head away.

" Hey." She said softly in her pixie voice. It had been a while since I had heard that shrill or sound.

" Hey." I replied in angst, still tapping my fingers together. I heard Alice cry. I was assuming she saw Bella's fate. I turned to her again. " You know what's going to happen." I said amazed, and disturbed.

" Yes." She said folding her hands together. " You won't need me to tell what happens, you already know farewell how this is going to end." She said in a whisper and walked away. I began to cry again, as well. I was right... I was too late to save her. To give her what she needed when she needed it. I began to walk up to Carlisle's office and could smell the blood and could imagine what it tasted like in my head. I could venom overflow in my mouth as I moved closer, but I needed to do this. I needed to see her. As I walked in, I saw Edward standing by her body that looked like a dead corpse.

" Bella." Edward whispered in hear, like I had a while ago. He kissed her cheek and I could see the tip of his tongue touch the blood rushing down her cut that was recently given to her.

" Jasper." She cried out softly. I walked to her and growled at Edward to get out. He did exactly that and shut the door behind him.

" Bella, I'm here, love... how are you feeling?" I knew the answer, but I needed her to talk to me about something. Something to help her get her mind off of what just recently happened.

" It hurts." She cried, holding tightly onto my hand for support.

" I know, baby." I almost cried again seeing her like this. " But try and hold on, okay. When we get home, we'll clean you up from all the cuts, and you can take a nice hot bath to sooth your muscle's that hurt. Bella, you're strong, okay? I know you can hold on just a while longer. I know you can." I repeated my voice soft. I moved my lips closer to hers, and she kissed me without any hesitation.

" That sounds nice." She smiled, and then flinched in pain.

" Try to ignore the pain, Bella. It won't hurt as long as you don't think about it.... Think about us, the moment we met. Our engagement, and then our beautiful little girl. Think about the best things that happened to you. Don't think about the bad." I begged trying with all my strength to not cry. I heard the door opened and looked quickly to see Carlisle in shock, and the back to Bella, who looked the same as she did minutes ago.

" What happened?" Carlisle asked

" Bella was raped." I couldn't bare to say it anymore. Carlisle walked over to Bella and examined the cuts. They all were so deep. The wounds were over shadowing Bella's poor elegant face.

" The wounds need to be cleaned. She should be fine after. She needs to bathe first before I do anything." Carlisle admitted.

" I will help her." I said quietly and picked her up. Edward had already started a bath for her. He wasn't going to help, there was no way I would let him. It was going to be me. Poor Bella wouldn't have any dignity left. I felt awful, but I was glad she was starting to communicate. She began to take off what clothes she had on left and I turned away from her, giving her the privacy she needed. She was my fiance, but I still needed to respect her wishes, especially in her time of need. The good thing was, she was soaking in bubbles and water so it was hard to see anything, thank goodness. I grabbed a cold, wet wash cloth and began to wash her cuts gently, watching her wince every now and then. I could see clearly that the water was turning red. She was still bleeding from all her wounds. " What did they do to you, Bells?" I whispered in agony

**I apologize on how long this chapter is, I had a lot of catching up to do. I couldn't figure out a good chapter, but here it was. I'm sorry if it's a little violent. Tell me what you think, and please rate!!!! :D The next chapter should be coming later tonight or tomorrow... wish me luck!**


	13. memories of tonight

**Bella's POV**

Jasper was cleaning all the cuts I had. I felt so humiliated. I was so accident prone, but this wasn't my fault. I could remember it in my head.

**Flashback**

_The dark alley way. Two men had kept their eyes on me the whole way, as I walked to the diner. Jessica and I were suppose to talk about the engagement, but obviously it was canceled due to more important things. I continued to walk by the diner. I wasn't worried about them staring at me, although it was scaring me a little. I sighed and shook my head. " Where are you going?" One of the men asked in a deep sinister voice. It made me quiver in fear. I didn't reply, I just kept on walking, this time, I began to walk faster in my pace. My heart began to race in fear. " You didn't answer me!" One of the men growled pushing me into the alley way and slamming my wrist into the wall above my head. The other moving by my neck and breathing in my scent. I gasped in pain from my wrists being slammed. I could feel and hear them both break, I screamed for Jasper once or twice, but that only made them anxious._

_" Do you talk?" The one man asked, as stupid as he was. He crushed his lips to mine. I began to spit in his mouth, hoping he would back away. It worked, but only for a couple of seconds. I began to kick who was ever in front of me. I didn't care who, just as long as it resolved in me being set free. It didn't work though. I was too weak to face the both of them and make it out. They pushed my body further into the wall and smiled at my pain. " I'm sorry," The man said quickly," where are my manors? This is Carl, and my name is Jay." He said his voice low in disgust. I could feel my phone buzzing. It must've been Jasper. I was late getting home. The man reached for my phone and saw the caller ID said Jasper and through my phone against the dumpster. " Is Jasper you're boyfriend?" He asked giggling once or twice. I still did not answer. " Then this will be more interesting now, won't it?"_

_Carl began to stomp hard on my leg, crushing it. The pain reminded of the time James had broken my leg. I began to whimper, but Jay put his hands over my mouth so the sound was muffled.. This was a time I wish I had vampire strength to get free of these monsters. " Let me go." I begged, my voice still muffled. I wanted so badly to kill them. Let them see how the pain felt. Carl moved in front of and began to mess with my hair, tugging and ripping at it violently like some kind of animal. I began to scream now. Jay's hand still not removed from mouth. " Please!" I begged. " Please!" My clothes were being ripped at and tugged at, I couldn't bare to see what was going to happen me. I felt numb and then could feel both of them scratching their nails into my back. It burned, and ached. My muscle's also were sore and bruised. I closed my eyes and everything went black. Hours later, I was left on the ground, alone, beaten, bruised, bleeding, practically dead. I couldn't breath, and I could feel it rain. I heard footsteps walking towards me, and they were touching my cheek, gasping in shock. I looked up, his face was a blur. I could barely tell who it was._

_He began to talk, and it was Jasper. I wanted so much to talk to him, kiss him, but nothing in my body would let me open up my mouth. I began to cry softly and knew he hadn't noticed, he was too worried about me. He carried me to the car and put me inside and speeding fast. My head began to spin as the car moved faster and faster. " Jasper!" I cried out in misery. " Bella, hold on!" I could tell Jasper was in as much pain as I was. It made me cry. Then I began to see more clearly, and was now in a white room with Edward standing next me. He was crying. He could barely stand any of this. He began to lick the blood off my cheek quickly and stopped when he saw Jasper. " Jasper!" I cried out. " I'm here, Love." He assured me._

**Present**

I cleaned off the cuts that were on my legs. They were the worst ones I had, the others were minor in size and deepness. Jasper helped me with my back. I grabbed a towel that was off to my side and waited for Jazz to turn away. He turned away and I wrapped myself in the soft velvet towel. He began to clean off my back gently, and kissed my back gently and slowly. It was soothing to me. I turned to face him, and kissed him passionately. " I love you." I smiled then sighed.

" Hold onto that." Jasper begged.

" Hold to what?" I asked confused.

" That you love me. I don't ever want to lose you." He said holding me gently to him. Being careful of all my cuts that were on my back. " We should get back to Carlisle and get those cuts taken care of... but first let's get you into some decent clothes.

" I'm already behind you." Alice cut in, laying some new clothes on the bathroom counter, they were for me.

" I'll leave you to change, alright? I'll be back as soon as you're ready." I nodded and he left the room. I began to breath out in agony as the pain flowed through my ankle that previously had been crushed tonight. " Alice!" I yelled.

" Yes?" She replied.

" How's Jasper?" I asked..

" It's hard to say, Bella." She said Sighing, while I got dressed. " Do you need help with anything?"

" No, thank you." I felt clean, but I was still sore from all that went on tonight. I walked into Carlisle's office and watched him moved towards small gauze and alcohol. This was not going to be good. He poured some of it on the cloth and rubbed my wounds cleaned. I began to moan and grimace in pain.

" It's alright, Bella." Jasper began to calm me down. Everywhere I could think of would only be more painful. I couldn't bare it. I grew sick and nauseated as he continued. Numbness hit me. It hit me like nothing else had.

" Thats it." Carlisle said putting the alcohol away and smiling pleased. " Here's some antibiotics for your wounds. That should help it, but come back later next week. How's your head?" He asked examining the cuts also on my head.

" It hurts." I admitted and gritted my teeth together as he began to feel around it.

" You have a slight concussion." He sighed. " Jasper, you'll need to wake her every couple hours."

" No problem." Jasper said quickly smiling and kissing me. I looked at the clock hanging up against the wall and cringed at the time. It was 12:00 in the morning.

" Can we go?" I asked politely, not wanting to be rude, but I was raped.. I should have an exception.

" Yes, love, of course we can." Jasper said watching me get up and limp. " I'll carry you, if that's what you want." He admitted. I nodded my head and he picked me up gently and sat me in the front. He got in with me and started up the car.

" Bella, are you sure you're okay?" Jasper asked wearily.

" Yes, I'm fine... just sore." I whispered.

" Well, I'll get you taken care of at home." Jazz said holding my hand and rubbing the side of it smoothly.

" Jazz, I'm fine." I admitted stubbornly. It was the truth. So I had cuts and scrapes on my legs, arms, and back, but I was alright. I just needed my sleep.

" Bella, you were just raped... I wasn't born yesterday and you know that." He looked at me and laughed.

" Yeah, I know you weren't born yesterday... but I need my sleep, alright?" My voice was becoming irritated.

" Alright.." He replied and drove us back home. I was anxious to see Anna at home snuggled safe in bed. I was trusting Jasper had gotten somebody to watch over her. He pulled in the drive, and I got out limping towards the front door and opening it.

" Bella?" Emmett's voice went off in surprise.

" Hello, Emmett." I said looking for anna. " Where's Anna?" I asked.

" Sleeping, I finally got her to bed." Emmett smiled content.

" What happened to you? You look like you got hit by a bus, or trampled on." He tried to hide his laughter.

" It's a long story, and I don't feel like talking about it much." I admitted wrapping my arms gently around myself and Jasper walking in behind me. I walked to my bedroom and slept peacefully on the bed. Felling Jasper get in with me. He would not sleep, he would be watching over me. He was my guardian angel. I smiled, but it turned in a frown. My happiness could only last so long before something else went wrong. It was only a matter of time.

" Good night, Bella." Jasper whispered in my ear and kissed me goodnight. I yawned tired and fell quickly asleep and could feel pain and misery set in.


	14. Death

**Edward's POV**

This was a moment, where I wish I could sleep through it. Let the time pass, but it felt as if seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into hours, and so on, and so on. I was missing Bella utterly, and knew I couldn't get her back, she was already too far gone for me to reach and grab ahold of. I did not love Alice, and Alice had not loved me. Yet, we were getting married in less than a week, could this nightmare get any worse? I had grown feelings for Alice a long time ago, but now those feelings have seemed to fade quickly and I wanted to move on, but Alice would not let me. At least, not until she got what she really wanted, and that was Jasper, not me. She could care less how I felt about her loving Jasper more.

Alice walked swiftly into the room swiping her finger gently across my cheek. Had she forgotten that I could read thoughts? She didn't need to act like she loved me. I already knew she didn't " Alice." I whispered rather annoyed by her actions towards me.

" Yes, Edward?" She asked grinning rather hugely in my opinion. That couldn't of meant anything good.

" What do you want?" I asked turning away from her gaze.

" Oh... Nothing." She said slowly, still smiling moving her hands gently across my shoulders.

" Alice, could you please stop fulling around?" I snapped, bitterly.

" What's going on with you?" She asked moving away from me.

" Nothing.... nothing you would understand anyway. It's far too complicated for you to comprehend" I said blatantly.

" Edward." She looked at me, her eyes and pale skin glowing in the sunlight and her now long dark hair being pushed away from her face with her hand.

" What?" I said clutching my fists together.

" I have a plan." She said quietly.

" What plan? What are you talking about?" I asked confused.

" Don't play foolish around me. I know you still love Bella, just as much as I love Jasper." She pointed out proudly, don't know why.

" Then why in God's name are we getting married?!" I was now shouting... This was louder in tone range than I had gone before in my life.

" That's where my plan comes in." This was bad because her plans usually led to chaos. " Our wedding shower," She scrunched her two fingers together in sarcasm," is in less than 3 day, is it not?" She asked, her face looking rather determined.

" It is." I began to roll my eyes.

" Well, Bella, and Jasper are coming...." She hesitated.

" So...." I said slowly. I didn't understand where she was going with this.

" So, I could talk to Jasper and when I do, I know somewhere deep down he still loves me." She said.

" I wouldn't count on that." I admitted still rolling my eyes.

" Bella loves you still too." My eyes grew wider in hope, but the feeling was fading. Alice could've been lying she'll do anything to get what she wants.

" So, even if that was true, it's too late." I sighed looking away from her.

" No it's not." She admitted smiling. " Jasper, I'm sure if I beg long enough will come back to me and leave Bella, and Bella will be all yours. Besides I'm nothing without Jasper, and you're nothing without Bella." She admitted crossing her arms. " All you have to do is kiss her and I'll make sure Jasper watches her at the right time, when they come to shower... It's that simple." She smiled. Her plan couldn't have been more cruel or devious. But I didn want Bella, more than she probably wanted me, no doubt.I shook my head and turned away.

" No, I couldn't... it's wrong.. it's not my job to get in the way of Bella and Jasper's happiness." If they loved each other, than so be it. But that right there was Alice's problem, she couldn't stand to see him happy, unless it was her pleasing him. So, she would make up a sick plan such as this one to retrieve him.

" Come on... how badly do you want her, Edward? You both were happily married like how her and Jasper are now. You can get her back.. it's not impossible." She smiled convincingly.

" I want her, more than I've wanted anything. And I want Anna." I want her to be my daughter officially. Even though in blood relation, she was my true daughter. I wanted it to be declared to her. But every single person in that entire family would be emotionally destroyed if I did anything.

" One kiss.... is all it takes" She purred in my ear and began to kiss away at me. Roughly, fiercely. She wanted too much from me, and I couldn't keep up with her.

" Alice, stop." I warned pushing her off of me, but she complied to my wishes, throwing me onto the couch. I began to growl fiercely and pushed her off of me, sending her into the wall. She began to breath out hard and sat hopelessly on the floor.

" I can't!" I shouted now. " If I do that.. do you know how many people's life's you and I will be ruining? Jasper's?! Bella's?! Anna's?! They will be so broken, that they won't ever trust! " I suddenly realized as I looked down at her shamefully. " And you'll be the cause." I said in disappear. " And me." I said sitting on the couch. I began to cry. Alice kissed me again, soothing me now, or at least trying. " Alice, don't make me do this." I begged. " I don't want Bella hurt anymore. She'd just been raped for God's sakes." Then I remembered back to earlier tonight. Bella laying flat on the medal table. Covered in blood and scars, head to toe's... the biggest scars left on her warm fragile legs... and the longest one across her face. She was scared, and disturbed. And then Jasper, coming back for her. Comforting, kissing her. Something I wish I could've done that night, and another thing I realized. " Alice, you saw Bella before that happened." I said slowly, watching the tension build up in her muscles. " You let this happen to Bella." I growled quietly under my breath.

" I did not! You're just being paranoid now." She huffed and walked away out of the room.

"Why did I ever kiss you that night? I would've been so much better off." I said quietly to myself in remorse. Sighing every now and then, and seeing Bella pop up into my mind. Everything that went on between us. When we first met, the meadow, prom, leaving her, I only realized that I couldn't live without her. My life was meaningless back then, like it is now. And then finally the wedding. All our dreaming finally coming true. Every went black after that. I got up to go find Alice. I'm sure this was going to be worth it, but I might as well try. I found her sitting in her room. Calm, calmer than I was.

" Alice." I said quietly. " I'll do it." She looked up at me and kissed me softly. I removed my lips from hers, and pushed her away.

" Get use to this, Edward. We have to act like this until the shower." She breathed kissing the lower part of my neck. This was the kind of thing I was not comfortable with.

" Did you have a vision about the wedding shower yet?" I asked eagerly.

" Yes." She said quietly.

" Bella won't be hurt will she?" I asked my voice in agony. I'm not sure if I wanted to find that out.

" No." She said smiling. How in the heck could I trust her? She's lied to me so many times about so many things. I was afraid that I needed to face the facts I couldn't trust anyone anymore. Not even myself.

_Help me!_

Is all I could even dare do to to think in my head. My phone began to ring.. It was Bella. How could she get away with calling me? Jasper had to be watching over her unless he left to go some place. I picked up my phone in a hurry and answered it. " Bella?" I asked confused and walking out of the room.

_" Hey, Edward." _Her voice was utterly bleak. It broke my heart listening to her.

"Hey, Bella. How are you feeling? How's your head?" I asked, and managed to get it out.

_" I'm sore, Edward.. In so many places." _She began to cry softly on the other line.

" Bella, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'll help you through this." I sighed.

_" I don't know what to do, Edward." _She began to cry louder now. A moan leaving her mouth every couple of minutes.. They seemed to be small breath's. Could she not breath?

" Bella, everything will be okay." I smiled slightly then sighed again. " Where's Jasper?" I asked somewhat surprised he wasn't there with her.

_" Anna's cuddling up with him at the moment. He's not sure how she'll react seeing me..So I have to be kept away from her, at least for now."_

" Aww, Bella. I'm so sorry again." I said my face lowering in shame. " Why don't you stop by... I miss you, Bella." I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did... what's the word.. desperate.

_" Not tonight... Ah my head!" _She moaned. Sounding dizzier as she spoke. _" Um...." _She paused.... I heard a loud thud on the other end.

" Bella?" I called eagerly waiting to hear her voice again. " Bella!" I cried... The phone call ended. I ran to Alice's room again.. This time she was crying, sobbing, laying miserably on the floor. " Alice." I spoke my voice in torment.

" She- she's dead. She killed herself. it's too late to save her" Alice cried and hugged me. " Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry." She touched my head, and at last... I saw Bella.... laying helplessly on the ground.... She wasn't breathing, and Jasper was too busy holding Anna in his arms.... I stood there... motionless... my Bella, dead. I couldn't changer her, once dead always dead... it's when they're on the verge of death it's easy to transform them. I looked closely at the picture in front of me... an empty pill bottle on the floor fallen a few inches away from her hand. I shuttered at the thought.

Bella overdosed herself? Was it on purpose, or by accident? Alice removed her hand from mine and I began to cry silently in my own room. "She's gone. My Bella gone."


	15. Family Reunion

**Jasper's POV**

" Mommy!" Anna cried loudly. She tried to struggle out of my grip, but she knew it was no use. I wasn't going to let her go see her... at least not now, in the condition Bella was frightfully in. I don't know how she would take it, or what I would have to explain to her later on in the day. She was too young, to possibly know what happened to her beautiful mother, who just outside laying on the couch talking to someone it sounded like.

" Anna, please." I begged, trying to settle her down and get her off to bed, but she just kept struggling. She continued to do this for hours at a time. And I grew to have a huge headache later on. I finally gave up. She was a tough little girl. Always fought for what she wanted, just like Bella. That made me smile. Anna ran quickly out of the room and ran outside. I didn't follow after her, until I heard a gasp from her mouth open and then crying. I ran to her, and saw my beautiful elegant Bella on the floor. I gulped thinking of the word. She was dead. "Bella!" I screamed running to her body. Her eyes were left open, but she wasn't breathing. Her body went into shock, and I couldn't feel her emotions anymore. "Bella, wake up!" I begged, holding her limp hand tightly. " Please, I need you." I begged bringing my head to her neck, crying. My body raging with anger.

I looked besides her and saw a small, completely empty bottle roll off to the side as I moved her cold body. It was a medication bottle for pain relief. She over dosed? My poor Bella tried to kill herself. " No, Bella! No!" I cried to her, acting as if she were awake and she could hear me. She laid there in my arms for about two hours, before Edward finally came rushing to me putting his hand on my shoulder. Staring at Bella in grief. Carlisle came in, as well. Taking her away from me. Removing her from my tight grip. " Carlisle." I spoke hopelessly. He looked down at me and nodded. Feeling for her pulse, a poor attempt to see if she was alive, but she wasn't.

" She's gone." He spoke softly.

" I know." I replied. I heard someone sobbing, and looked to see Edward was holding her, like I was minutes ago. I stood up and watched him.

" My poor innocent Bella." He cried kissing her cold lips tenderly. The anger grew in my heart. I was raging with anger now. My eyes growing black, my fists tightening.

" Your innocent Bella?!" I mocked while clutching my fists tighter. " You're missing one minor detail." I said stiffly. " She's not yours!" I yelled. He gave Bella to Carlisle, and I raised my fist high in the air. Not caring what anybody thought any more. I punched Edward, forcing him to fall into the wall. He fought back, but softer and more careful than I was. " You don't deserve her." I spoke out in a whisper and let him go. " Have a nice life with Alice." I said walking into my room slamming it shut and locking it. I heard Anna cry at my out burst a couple seconds ago. I felt horrible, and emotions were hitting me like they never had before. Causing me to only feel worse than I already did.

I could feel Bella. Still with me. Kissing my cheek, calming me down. Then disappearing later and leaving me alone again. I cried heavily now... realizing everything we wanted, was now impossible. We wanted a little girl of our own, gone. We wanted to get married, gone. Now that Bella was dead, Anna would be taken away from me. She wasn't mine, she was Edward's.. and I'm sure he wanted her. But I wanted her too. I went to lay on my bed, and for the first time in hundreds of years, I slept.

******************************************

I woke up, time felt impossibly slow. I felt like I was dreaming, but those dreams turned suddenly into nightmares. I got up quickly and began to breath out heavily. So many things were pressured on me. I got out of bed and opened my door. I saw that the whole family was here. Esme came to comfort me and kissed me gently on my cheek. I looked down and smiled at her. " Thanks, Esme."

" I'm so sorry, Jasper." She began to cry and hugged me tightly. Her eyes were glimmering in the light. Alice stood in front of me. Her eyes filled with regret, sorrow. She had been guilty for everything she had done.

" Jazz, I had no idea....." She stopped and began to cry again. " I'm here for you if you need me." She turned away and walked off to Edward. Edward seemed like he wanted no part of this. He didn't want Alice to be by him. He was uncomfortable.

I walked outside onto our porch and sat on the outside couch. I was steaming with rage, but it passed once the cool air hit me face and blew my hair around. Edward came out and sat next to me, looking at me then cringing. He really didn't want to know what I was truly thinking. Death didn't seem bad at the moment.

" You don't want to do that." Edward admitted sighing. " Anna needs you right now. you are her father." He saw me imagining myself getting up and leaving this place.

" No, I'm not. I just acted like her father, you are her real father, Don't you think she should get a chance to know that?" I asked looking at him.

" I do, but I'm not about to let you just quite on Anna, Jasper. And think about this, you were there for most of Anna's life, don't you think you're more qualified to be her father? I just helped make her. She's my daughter, but I wasn't there for her. I hardly know anything about her. I wish I knew more. Maybe it would've helped me connected better with Bella." He sighed. He was blaming himself for not being there for Bella, and Anna? Good, he should be guilty.

" Bella, when she was pregnant with Anna, was so excited. I hadn't seen her more happy. And I enjoyed it. Watching her, thinking I would be able to take care of Anna when she was born. I promised Bella I would be there for her and the baby. And she was practically like a daughter to me. In fact I, at sometimes would've forgotten she was yours." I laughed remember all the times we had spent together as a family. " Bella wanted her and I to have a baby of our own together, but now, I think it's become impossible.

" Bella, did that with me too," Edward replied and smiled slightly. " She begged for a baby girl. And that's what happened. Dream come true. And instead of it becoming a joy, it became a nightmare. I didn't kiss Alice, Jasper.... Alice kissed me, and Bella was there at the wrong place, at the wrong time. But you're right.. I didn't deserve her. I've destroyed her heart more than I can count. This is all my fault. If I would've just listened to Bella, and turned her, then maybe she would still be alive. And she wouldn't get raped. I would be saving her life.... But I was just too afraid." He sighed then hugged me firmly.

" Both of us are to be blamed." I admitted. " But as hard as this is, I need some time to get away. Edward I want you to finally have a connection with your daughter. She'll understand.. And I'm sure she'll like you." I smiled sighing that I would have to leave soon. I couldn't take anymore of the dread any longer. Is was breaking me apart. I was planning never to return, but I was keeping that idea away from Edward.

" I will do it." Edward said softly and got up. He walked back inside and began to talk to Alice. He was going to break it off with her. She already knew it was coming. No one would pity her. Everyone would be pitying me. Which pity was something I did not want.

I walked up to Anna. She was sitting quietly in her room. She felt broken inside. " Anna." I smiled slightly wiping away her tears. " My sweet little Anna." I started off again. " Listen, I have to go somewhere for a little while. Some friends of mine, old friends, need me. I'm going to go be with them for a while." Her eyes began to widen as I went on.

" You're taking me with you, right?" Her voice cracked in sadness.

" No, baby.... Edward's going to take care of you." My voice saddened.

" No, take me with you." She croaked out.

" Baby, I can't, it's far too dangerous for you to come along. And there's something I need to tell you. I was going to wait till you were older, but now is a good time too." I sighed.

" Edward's your real father." She began to cry again.

" No." She said holding onto me. I pushed her off and handed her to Edward. Anna began to kick and scream. This was all too much for her. I felt awful. I began to walk outside and into my car. Hearing her scream for me.

" Daddy!" She cried... she was too young to understand. I began to drive off and was crying loudly and hard. I stopped my car in an unfamiliar parking lot and darkness came over me.


	16. Remembering Everything

**Anna's POV**

_7 years after Bella's death_

This was the hardest year I've had to deal with. My old boyfriend had been abusing me, and my mom was still gone after seven years. I was now full grown... and at the age where I stopped aging. I was remembering how my mom died._ It was late, and Jasper had still been holding me close to him. Kissing me, and singing to me to get me to go to sleep, but I refused to do anything without seeing my mom. I was scared now, only because Jasper was holding me, keeping me from my mother. I was worried something was going on with her. I was confused. " Let me go see mommy!" I begged trying to get out of his grasp. _

_" No, Anna!" Jasper said firmly. After, I heard a quiet thud.... It was quieter than a vampire or human could hear.... but I had sensitive hearing, better than all the other vampires. " Mommy!" I cried still struggling in Jasper's grip. This was still going on for hours... Finally he gave up. He let me go._

_I ran straight for the living room, and there she was... she was on the floor. Her arms, legs, face... every visible part of her body was covered in cuts. Then there was a pill bottle next to her... I was old enough to understand what that meant. She overdosed herself with medication. " Bella!" Jasper cried running to her. I could sense she was already dead. _

_It was too late for him to do anything. I sat there watching them. Jasper hover over my mom's dead body. She looked so cold and pale. I walked away slowly from them sitting in my little corner, crying. My mom was dead. _

_Jasper came up to me a couple hours later, telling me who my real father was and he had to leave me with him, Edward. Who was watching over me now. He had been watching over me my whole life. " Anna, don't cry. Stay strong. I'll be back, I promise." But he never came back, in fact he abandoned me, leaving me by myself in the care of Edward my true blood related father._

I was tired, and covered in bruises , waking up was the hardest part in starting my day. I began to struggle in bed... Yelling, cringing. " No! No! Please, Please!" I cried out. Someone's hand was put to my shoulder. I gasped loudly and saw my dad concerned in every way. " Dad?...." I asked confused.

" I'm here." He hugged me. " Anna, what happened?"

" Bad dream." I replied silently. He sat next to me still hugging me. I loved my real dad so much.

" Dad?" I asked my voice breaking in agony.

" Yes, sweetie?" He looked at me wiping away any tears I had.

" I really miss her." I cried.

" I know, I miss her too... You remind me so much of her Anna." He buried his head in my hair rubbing my shoulder. Smiling slightly. But it was true I was a spitting image of my mother, except my eyes were green, instead of brown like hers were.

" Jasper told me that too." I sighed remembering him. I missed Jasper too.. He tried calling my phone. Well, my mom's old, old phone. Probably trying to hear her voice on the voice mail, but I saved that on voice recordings and put in my own voice message. Jasper was crying on the other end. I wanted so bad to call him. Talk to him, see how he's been. I was anxious, but at the same time nervous to answer the phone when he called. My dad said it was a bad idea, but I didn't care.

" I want to see him again." I said. " I want to see her again." I had found out not long after my mom's death, that I could revive people. What a horrible coincidence. I began to cry again, and Edward began to comfort me. Holding me in his arms, whispering to me.. " Dad?" I looked up at him, guilt filling my eyes.

" Yes, Anna?" He asked curiously. I couldn't force the words out of my mouth. I wouldn't let myself. There was so much pain built up inside of myself. But I was weak.

" What if I let mom die?" I asked holding back any tears I had left.

" What are you talking about?" Edward asked me now looking concerned.

" I never told you this.... I can revive people, it's a gift. I had it ever since birth... and I- I never did anything to save my mom. I just watched her die." I whimpered and Edward began to hug me tightly.

" Don't ever blame this on yourself, Anna. Do you hear me? This wasn't your fault." He assured me and rocked me gently in his arms.

" Why does it feel like it?" I cried.

" This wasn't your fault." He repeated. I still cried, clutching my hands over my stomach. I felt a sharp pain hit my lower abdomen. I knew exactly what that meant. I shook my head now, my body shaking in fear, shame. This was my fault.

" Dad, I'm going to go out for a little while around Port Angeles." I said smiling fakely and heading to my car. I was already dressed and ready. I grabbed my car keys and got in my mom's old truck. It reminded me of her. I drove out to Port Angeles and began to walk around. Walking gradually around people. Hoping to God that I wouldn't run into my old boyfriend. He already caused me enough trouble, and grief. I continued to walk for hours and my caught notice of someone. Someone who was so familiar to me. He hadn't changed one bit, he looked exactly the same, when I was little.

Happiness filled my heart. I wanted so much to talk to him, tell him how my life was going. I would finally get to face my old father, Jasper. I missed him so much. I couldn't stand not to see him, but I had no choice then. I most certainly had a choice now. " Jasper!" I cried out, excitement filling my voice. He hadn't turned his head. He couldn't hear me. " Jasper!" I called out again, this time louder than before. He turned his head and saw me. Nothing but pure shock in his eyes. Did he recognize me like I recognized him? He ran to me. Hugging me, spinning me around. A smiled buried in his face.

" Anna?" He asked surprised to see it was really me. My hair had changed as I got older. My hair when I was around 5, was blonde. But it was a brunette shade now. I nodded my head in reply.

" Yes." I spoke softly and hugged him again.

" You look so beautiful." He smiled, pleased with me. " You look just like your mother." He still smiled, but then frowned and sighed thinking about her. " I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

" Yeah, me either." I admitted and laughed slightly.

" I'm sorry about that." He sighed hugging me again, hopefully it was the last. " So, what's been going on with you? How's the family?" He asked quickly.

" The families fine, still fighting like they always have. Alice and Edward got married." I sighed. I did not like how they treated each other. I knew it wasn't true love.

"They got married?" Jasper repeated in shock.

" Yep." I said balancing on the back of my heels.

" How long?" He asked curiously.

" About three years." I said trying to remember if my calculation is right. It didn't matter, I already said what I thought.

" And what about you, is everything working out okay?" He asked concerned now.

" Everything... is...." I stopped, trying to hold in my tears... I didn't want to lie to him. I couldn't. He felt my shame and despair.

" Anna." He softly, still worrying about me.

" Everything is backwards." I said holding my arms tightly." I'm not going to school anymore. My boyfriend abuses me, and rapes me. My mom and dad hardly act like my mom and dad around me. I have nobody, but myself... and my baby." I began to cry. The tears burst out like nothing else had.

" You had a baby?" He asked surprised again.

" Having." I corrected. " It wasn't on purpose though, Jasper. I don't want it, I don't know what to do." He began to hug me again and soothing feeling to my body. " Thanks." I smiled wiping away a few of my tears.

" I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He began to cry with me.

" I missed you so much, daddy." I cried again.

" I know, I know.... but I'll always be here for you, baby.. I promise I won't leave you in your time of need. Did you tell Edward?" He asked curiously.

" Nope." I said quickly and looked away from Jasper.

" Afraid he won't understand?" He asked. I nodded my head.

" Yup."

" You'll have to face him sooner or later, Annie." He smiled kissing me cheek. I moved away from his cold touch. He hadn't called me Annie in a long while. I missed that name. People would now either call me Anna, or AnnaBella. Well, my dad would anyway. Just to keep Bella's name fresh in his memory. But no one ever called me Annie. It was a sweet name for me in my past, but seemed meaningless now.

" Please come home." I begged tears still overflowing my cheeks.

" I can't make any promises, Annie." He said again, sighing.

" Okay." I said softly has he moved my hair away from my face, noticing I had a small scar on the side of my cheek.

" Who did this to you?" He asked disturbed by the blemish on my face.

" My old boyfriend. I shrugged. I had forgotten about that mark. My boyfriend took a knife from his pocket and began to messing with. He wasn't be careful and stroked my cheek with it. Blood falling quickly to the floor. It hurt so much, but not as bad as everything else he did to me. I had no choice, but to keep my mouth shut for the past two years of my life. Alice saw it, but didn't prevent like a lot of things she hadn't prevented over the years.

Jasper began looking at me closely. Seeing bruises along my arms, and cuts down on my sore ankles. And my skinny body. I had lost tons of wait... I weigh about 90 pounds and I was officially seventeen. I looked like a badly beaten up Bella. " Oh, Anna." He spoke softly, letting tears fill up his eyes. He hugged me again this time it was gentle and sweet. He still cared after seven years. This was the most I felt loved in a long time.


	17. Crush Against The Wind

**Anna's POV**

_1 week Later_

_Flash back_

_It was a cold night, Noah had called me, and this time his voice wasn't right. I could tell something was wrong. He sounded drunk.... wouldn't be surprised if he was. It was a shame I couldn't leave him, if I did he would hurt me, and maybe this time end my life for good. I never had the courage to tell my dad any of this. Stupid me.... I was sitting on the couch and heard knocking at my door. No one was supposed to be over tonight, since I was home alone. I went to see who it was out of curiosity. I looked through the window and saw it was Noah, my old boyfriend. He wanted to see me? This was not good at all. But I opened the door, only to tell him to get lost. But as soon as I did, he came in crushing his lips forcefully to mine. The hardest he had ever kissed me. It caused my lower lip to bleed._

_" Noah, stop!" I begged. He didn't listen to me, instead he pushed me into the wall, causing me to cringe in fear. This was not going to end well. I might as well die already. He continued to kiss me, and tried reaching to take off my shirt. He held onto my arms tightly, slamming them up above my head. " Noah stop, you're hurting me!" I begged again. He wouldn't listen still, instead hit me on my left cheek._

_" Shut up! It will just make this harder on you if you talk." I couldn't believe this was my old boyfriend. An insincere boy who didn't care that he got drunk and abused me often. _

_" Daddy!" I cried, but as I called out for my father, Noah glared at me, suddenly everything went black. I felt like I disappeared forever inside myself. This was a night I wished I was dead._

I woke up screaming, breathing out hard. I began to cry in pain as I tried to move myself out of bed. I felt broken inside. I finally got out bed even though my legs weren't strong enough to hold me up, they still tried. I walked to the mirror in my bathroom, and saw how badly I had been damaged the night before. Blood was rolling down my arms and thighs. The smell of blood overwhelmed my clothes. I had bruises all around my chest and I turned around to see a long gash on my back. " Holy crap!" This was the worst it had ever been. I never bled this bad before.

In fact I felt like I was losing too much blood, I felt dizzy and light headed. I began to remove my clothes and turned on the shower. The water was smooth and gentle to my skin. and the stinging kicked in. I began to wince in pain, but ignored it after a while.

" Anna?" A familiar voice called. Oh no. It was Jasper. " Anna?" He called again. I began to panic, and looked for a towel in the cabinet to wrap it around myself. I turned off the water, and locked the bathroom door.

" I'm in the bathroom." I warned. " I'll be right there!" I added and got dressed into skinny jeans and a tank top and came out. My legs and arms ached. I'm sure my emotions were going to be hard to hide, and the gash on my back especially. He faced me and could tell something was wrong. Of course he could.

" Are you okay?" He asked looking at me confused and concerned.

" Yeah, I'm fine... Never better." I lied. He began to gasp looking at me.

" Anna." He whispered quietly in fear. I looked down, and noticed even after the shower my arms were still beat red, and still bleeding. " Annie." He repeated.

" Oh, no." I groaned. He would make a big deal out of it. He would tell Edward my father, who would be extremely mad. " Jasper, no matter what I show you, you cannot. And I repeat, cannot tell my father about any of this."

" Why not? He'll do something about this. Who did this to you, Anna?" He asked concerned and ran up to me. I could tell by his chest movements, he was holding his breath.

" Noah, but listen to me. I tried to break it off, but he'd get so mad... and." I couldn't bare to tell him anything more.

" Oh, Anna." He hugged and could feel the long scar on my back. "Are you hurting anywhere?" He asked looking at my bruised body.

" Just my thighs, but that's it." I lied again. I hurt everywhere possible where it could hurt.

" Anna, we have to tell your father." My eyes went wide in fear.

" No, you can't. You promised. If anyone finds out. I'll be dead." I turned away from his gaze and began to cry.

" Wrong." He said quickly. " Whoever did this to you will be the dead one." He corrected and kissed my cheek gently. " Now, come on, let's get you taken care of." He said pulling me into the bathroom and sitting me down in the chair that was off to the side. He began to clean me up and bandaged me where ever I could be bandaged. Blotting up blood from my arms and legs, even though it was hard for him, he still helped me.

" Jasper, thanks." I smiled slightly and hugged him gently.

" Anything for you, Anna." He smiled and kissed me quickly. He never did that to me before. I kissed him back with no hesitation. He let go and shook his head. " I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry." He began to get up.

" No, Jasper stay!" I begged. Tears falling down the side of my face. " You didn't do anything wrong." I admitted.

" Don't defend me." He begged.

" I'm not, it's true... Now sit!" I said, my tone strict and firm. He immediately sat quickly in the chair next to me and sighed. " I understand why you did that, Jazz." I smiled slightly then sighed.

" You do?" He asked surprised I understood.

" Yes, but I'm not Bella... Well, my mom anyway. Even though I may look like her, I'm still Anna." He moved his head gently to my chest and began to cry. I hugged his back gently and began to cry with him. " I know, I miss her too." He removed himself from me and began to breath in slowly. I got up slowly and he noticed that I whimpered. I was still in pain, but the thing that was bugging me was that I was so skinny. I must've lost another couple pounds. I had to of, unfortunately that wasn't my goal... I didn't need to lose any more weight .. I need to gain weight. " Can I do something really quick?" I asked politely even though I could've already done it by now.

" Sure, go ahead." He motioned me to do what I needed. I stepped on the scale next to my feet and weighed myself. I was down to 85 pounds.

" Shoot!" I muttered under my breath and saw my ribs were showing through my skin, and my bones in my arms and legs were starting to become noticeable.

" Is something wrong?" Jasper asked concerned.

" Yeah my weights changed." I said calmly. He had to of taken it the wrong way.

" That's not a problem is it? If you think you're fat, don't.. because you're not... in fact you're rather too skinny if you don't mind me saying." He added. His cheeks filling in the with color. Embarrassment I took it.

" No, being heavy isn't my problem, actually it's the other way around." I sighed. " I'm too skinny!" I cringed away from the mirror caressing my hans gently over my hips bones, and groaned.

" How much could you possibly weigh?" He asked confused.

" 85." I managed to let out of my mouth. I hit my head against the wall in frustration not bothering to care about the pain.

" Yikes." Jasper said his teeth grinding together. He was disappointed all this was happening to me. " I'm sorry." He said gently hugging me. I slightly flinched, but didn't care. I was in Jasper's arms. I honestly did love him, but how was this going to end? Not well, I've never had any happy endings in my life time so far. I suddenly, heard the front door open.

" That's my dad." I panicked. " I don't think he'll be happy to see you, Jasper." I admitted and shrugged my shoulders.

" If I go, will you promise to tell your dad what's happening to you? Edward and Carlisle both will help, if not them the family. I know them." He began to look away from me and then kissed me again. That took me by surprised. He kissed me twice? This day obviously could not get anymore confusing.

" I promise." I said speechless. " But he's coming. I need you to get out of here."

" Anna?" Edward called out.

" Go!" I pushed him to get out quickly. He got out the window and ran. " Bye, Jasper." I said gently and watched him leave.

" Anna?" Edward called again and smiled seeing me.

" Hey, Dad." I put my arms behind my back.

" Is everything alright?" He asked.

" Yes, everything is alright." I lied, luckily I could block my dad out of my head so he couldn't read my thoughts. " Dad, I'm going to head over to the meadow. You know where you used to go?" I added and started to head out.

" Alright, be back soon." He never gave me a curfew, he just always said be back soon. I wonder what would happen if I stayed out late... Or never returned... I got in my truck and drove towards the woods, and finally walked around in the meadow.

I could feel the summer wind blow across my cheek gently. I would imagine as my own mother touching my cheek. " Mom, I needed you." I begged watching her appear next to me.

" You can do this without me, Anna... I know you can." She smiled and hugged me. Her touch was barely noticeable. It just felt numb. Everything felt numb to me. " Just follow your heart Annie." She said gently.

" How?!" I asked upset and confused. " How?!" The wind began to blow and she faded. " No, Mom! Please come back!" I begged. I was now crying. "Bella!" I shouted. She was gone and I fell to my knees. The tears kept falling.

I began to sit by the tree my mom and dad hung out by when they were younger. Well, when Bella was younger anyway. It had theirs names carved in it.

" You promised me you would tell him." A familiar voice said. I stood up and faced the voice.

" Jasper?" I wiped the tears away from my eyes.

" Yes... Did you tell him?" He asked curiously.

" No." I said ashamed. " I'm sorry... I was going to, but it's not easy." I sighed.

" I know..." He spoke quietly. " Which is why I told him." I looked at him my eyes growing angry.

" You did what?!" I screamed. " Why?" I began to pull at my hair as he came closer to me. " Jasper, that was none of your business.. You had no right to do that!" I yelled. He put his hand on my shoulder and I began to relax.

" You weren't going to tell him... Anna, I don't want you hurt anymore. And calm down... Edward's not mad at you, I mean, he's mad you didn't tell him, but understands. He's mad at Alice though." Jasper chuckled.

" Oh my God." I said in anxiety. I slid my back down against the tree. Jasper came to my side and helped me back up.

" Bella, he's taking you to Carlisle when you get home." Jasper spoke softly. I started wondering off. I didn't care he was following me. " Where are you going?" He asked confused, trying to catch up with me.

" I'm going somewhere where no body can hear my screams." Which meant, that I was just going to jump off a cliff and see what would happen.

" Oh no you don't." Jasper said picking me up and dragging me carefully to my car.

" Let me go!" I screamed, struggling from his grip, but he didn't. He put me in my truck and sat me in the passengers seat.

" Breath." He said while watching me out of breath already. " It will help with your anxiety." He smiled slightly and then sighed.


	18. Disappointment

**Anna's POV**

The car came to a complete stop. I had not bothered to look at Jasper, for I had no good reason to. The only time I looked at him was because I was muttering to myself about him. He had no business doing this to me. Jasper tried to help me out of my seat, but I pushed him away slowly. I didn't need his help. He helped me enough. I got out of the car, and heard my feet clatter to the ground. I walked towards the front door, hoping I wouldn't hear yelling as soon as I got in.

I opened the door gradually. Suddenly I heard footsteps walk my way. I looked back at Jasper and hesitated. " Go on." He whispered to me and pushed me inside the house.

" Anna." Another voice called out firmly. I did not dare look at his face. I knew he was disappointed in me. I was afraid of what would happen next. Usually when Edward was really mad because I kept something from him, he would hit me a couple times and call it a day, but it was only because I wasn't being honest with him. At least, that was his poor excuse.

" Dad I-" He put his hand in front of my face.

"Please don't speak." He whispered quietly in agony. " Is it true, Anna? Did Noah rape you?" He asked me so blatantly. I never thought it would sound so awkward, so violating. I didn't know what to say. Words didn't seem to be coming out. I couldn't do it, but I had no choice. If I didn't talk, this would make things much worse.

" Yes." I replied remorsefully. He sighed and hugged me. I wasn't expecting that.

" You will tell him that you won't be seeing him anymore." I looked at him in fright and shook my head.

" I can't..." I whispered softly, tears filling my voice. " He'll kill me. I know, I've tried before. He made me take him back." I cried now. " He won't let me go." I cringed at the thought.

" Then I will.... Anna, I will protect you no matter what... I'm not going to let you get hurt again like your mother did." I heard Jasper growl slightly. I put my hand over his when I heard that.

" What happens when you're not there for me? He'll just come back... I'm his." I cried in my hands and began to shake. Jasper began to hug me now.

" When he's not there I will be. You won't be home alone for a while." He kissed my cheek. Edward was not happy with his actions towards me. I smiled slightly and looked to Edward. He sighed. He looked guilty... What was he up to?

"I'm taking you to Carlisle." He said gently grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the front.

" What?! No! Please, no!" I begged struggling to get away from him. " Edward please!" I screamed. Jasper helped him get me into the car. " You don't understand!" I shouted.

" We understand, this going to help you... you have no idea." I still struggled in their grip. They pain was hurting me so much.

" Stop!" I begged and cried. They did stop, but didn't let go.

" Anna, what's your problem?" Edward asked confused. " You know Carlisle, he's your grandfather." He admitted.

" Yeah, I know, and I really don't want my own grandfather touching me." I complained.

" He's not going to hurt you. I promise." Jasper nodded and agreed.

" I don't care!" I now screamed. I didn't like any of this at all. They drove me to Carlisle's. The trip was less than 3 minutes away. I was aching now. I didn't want anyone touching me at all! Jasper got out of the car and carried me to the house in his arms. He set me down on the cold silver table in Carlisle's office.

" What seems to be the problem?" Carlisle asked curiously.

" Anna's here because Noah raped her and she's in pain. Can you help her?" Edward asked still disappointed.

" I can." He smiled content. " Where does it hurt, Anna?" He asked looking at me with concerned eyes.

" I'm fine." I lied... I didn't want to go through with this.

" Anna, you're not please just do this." Jasper begged looking at me sadly. I sighed and gave in.

" My ribs." I spoke quietly.

" Lift up your shirt?" He asked politely. I looked towards Jasper, somewhat angry. I removed my shirt slowly. My chest was black and blue, bruised in so many places. " There seems to be a lot of bruising." He spoke, touching some of them, it caused me to flinch.

_No Duh._

I thought to myself. I already knew that. Edward glared at me, which made me easily turn away from him. " Anywhere else?" He asked, his eyes wide. I did not want to open my mouth at all, but unfortunately I had to.

" My back." I said.. getting nervous.... He moved behind me and I heard a gasp come quietly out of his mouth.

" Did he do this?" Carlisle asked, tracing down the long strike on my back. I simply nodded, holding in my tears. " It's infected, Anna. Most of your cuts look infected." That didn't surprise me from the way they looked in the first place.

" Is there something you can do about that, Carlisle?" Jasper asked worried.

" Of course, Jasper." He said smiling again. He took some antibiotics and rubbed it gently on my back. It was soothing. It felt good. He wrapped gauze around it also to keep it from bleeding anymore.

" Thank you." I smiled.

" You're most certainly welcome." He smiled right back at me. There was still more to come. Carlisle laid me down, and I began to close my eyes. Jasper came to my side soothing me, talking to me. I went numb not too long after.

" Jasper." I whispered gently.

" Are you alright?" He asked. He looked like he was crying.

" No, I'm fine." I got up when Carlisle was done, and hugged him. Thanking him the best I could. I slid my shirt back on and headed for the car.

" Don't you want to say hi to everybody? They're all here." Edward smiled. I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch. He didn't want me leaving quite yet. They discussed for over an hour. I was becoming more and more tired. Jasper came to my side comforting me. Edward still was talking to Carlisle. His features looked more disturbed now. What could be wrong now? Darkness came over me, I began to drift off. I was so tired.


	19. Secrets

**Jasper's POV**

This day couldn't possibly get worse. My brother hated my guts... For what reason? I had no idea. I should have been the one mad right now. I turned my face towards Anna, as Carlisle talked on and on... I already knew what was wrong with her... I didn't need Carlisle telling me what I already knew all over again. I don't think I could possibly bare listening to something I could've prevented from ever happening to Anna, or Bella. They both faced the same fate, but I wouldn't let Anna down. Not here, not now.

" So, what's the damage?" Edward asked. He was extremely concerned about Anna's health... But so was I, more than he. It wasn't even a contest. I loved her with all my heart, which made my day even more gloomy than before. I couldn't possibly fall in love with someone I practically raised as my daughter, it was wrong. Entirely wrong. Bella would be disappointed in my lust towards her daughter, but ever since Bella passed away, I found no reason why I couldn't fall in love with Anna. After all she wasn't mine. But soon she would be, but in a different way. If she loved me, the way I loved her. I shook my head in confusion and snapped out of the trance I was unfortunately in by staring at Anna. Edward looked at me scold-fully and growled, biting his bottom lip in anger.

_'" Sorry." _I thought to myself shamefully.

" Well, she has two broken ribs, a long strike across her back and she's pretty much bruised." Carlisle spoke firmly. He was leaving out one minor detail though. I don't know if he missed it, or just was not going to mention it. So, I opened up my mouth swiftly and spoke out.

" Edward, there's one more thing you, Carlisle, and Alice... need to know. She's pregnant." I whispered so Anna could not hear.

" How could Alice miss this?" He asked confused, and then turned to Carlisle. He tightened his fists and kept them at his side. I began to send him a calming motion, but that wasn't helping. " Most importantly, how could you miss this, Carlisle?" I knew the answer to why Alice missed it... She didn't care much about Anna.... I felt horrible for Anna. She wasn't loved by much of her family, just Edward and I. That's all she had left to rely on. Of course I did not know the answer to Carlisle's mistake. It was not like him to miss something like that.

" I hadn't ran over the tests yet. I wouldn't of known unless I had." He sighed and moved his clip bored onto his desk. I couldn't take this anymore. I went to sit by Anna, and noticed something as she leaned her head against my chest. My shirt became damp as she held onto me.

" Shh... everything is going to be alright, Anna. I promise." I listened to her quiet whimper, trying to zone out Edward and Carlisle who were discussing the issue. Which it wasn't complicated at all, at least it shouldn't of been. It should be completely Anna's choice... It's not like they're having it for her.... otherwise, that would be somewhat awkward and disturbing. I chuckled to myself, while rubbing my thumb across the top of her head, looking down at her hair, seeing it was tussled and pulled at. It was also Knotted. Wasn't she taking care of herself?

" Anna.." I spoke softly so as not to scare her. She was already under enough stress.

" What?" She asked looking at me with tear-filled eyes.

" I'm so, so sorry I let this happen to you... This is all my fault." I admitted and held her safely in my arms. She had no idea how to reply. I could feel her confusion, it was not hard to feel her emotions, she was always quite clear with her emotions. They were never mixed.

" This isn't your fault, Jasper... It's mine... I was stupid enough to fall in love with a guy who was willing to hurt me. And now dealing with this, is my punishment. This is what I get for being stupid." She sighed and hid her face in my chest.

" You're not stupid." I whispered gently in her ear, watching her bangs wisp away as I spoke. " You're beautiful, smart... Don't underestimate yourself." I began to rub her arm gently and let her lay herself against my cold hard chest. It felt cooling to her. It always calmed her, made her feel safe.

"Jasper...." She spoke and whispered, her voice hoarse and scratched. " Do you love me?" She asked her tears falling gradually off her cheek.

" Yes..." I smiled slightly. " I could never not love you. You're too beautiful." I admitted, and that was true. She looked just like Bella. But she was most certainly different in personality. She seemed less happy than Bella. And her moods were always off, even before she was pregnant. She lost her mother though, I do not blame her for not being happy... But she shouldn't have been letting that stop her from having a good life too. I didn't want her regretting any of that. I could feel her smiling into my chest, wrapping herself even closer to me, as if she weren't already close enough to me. She wanted me, just like I wanted her.

" Are you coming to the vampire get together Carlisle and Esme are throwing?" I knew exactly what she was talking about. There was no confusion setting off in my mind. She was talking about the annual Hallows Eve Ball.. technically just a party, but we would always out due ourselves with decorations. But we would never have it in our home. It was in a huge ballroom. The one ballroom that was elegant enough for Bella and I to celebrate our wedding reception in. But maybe Anna wanted to ask me to join her. vampire's would bring their mates along, it certainly was the most romantic and perfect sight to lay eyes on.

" Hallows Eve?" I asked curiously.. She nodded her head. I didn't expect anything different. " I will come." I said softly. She looked at me, concentrating on my eyes. Which grew weary, as I remembered that half the people I knew hated me, except peter, Irina, and Maria. Yeah, that was pretty much it. I sighed, and watched her eyes widen in hope.

"Will you come with me?" She asked holding my hand and tracing the creases of my palm.

" Of course I will." I kissed her head and watched her fall asleep in my arms. Edward coming back to retrieve her. " Hallows Eve Ball?" I asked knowing Edward to be better than that. He hated these things as much as I did.

" Trust me, I don't want to go, but I have to, because Alice wants to.."

" Screw Alice, no one cares.... and I can't believe you still care about her, after what she did. She practically let that guy get away with hurting Anna, instead of telling you. She did that with Bella too, didn't she? It's only because of jealousy. I could sense it in her when she came over that night Bella died. She hated her because I loved Bella with my heart and not her. You loving her just wasn't enough.. it never would be." I picked her up carefully and got her inside Edward's care. I tried hard not to wake her up. She's had to deal with way to much the past couple of days.

" Why do you love Anna?" He asked gritting his teeth together. Still angry at me, no doubt. " Tell me the truth." He begged.

" I love her, because she loves me too. That's all that matters in the end anyway. She's everything I could've ever wanted." I admitted and smiled looking at her reflection in the window of the car.

" Just realize who you're falling for, Jasper. I don't want her hurt..." He whispered low in despair.

" I would never hurt her." I promised. " And I know exactly who I'm falling for, but this has nothing to do with Bella. It's been seven years, Edward. Seven miserable, lonely, years. I've moved on.

" Yeah, moved on with hers and my daughter. Don't think you're fooling me. I know that every time I get up in the morning and find Anna sleeping in her bed, trouble buried deep her face, she looks exactly like her mother. Who you happened to love too." He looked at me, his facial expression wide, and serious. He would not trust me, but I didn't care. I hadn't cared what he thought about in a long time.

" Listen, whether you trust me or not, it doesn't matter. I love Anna, and she loves me... I'm not going to give her up." I could hear Edward growl viscously in reply and he got in his car and drove her home. She was so dazed. It almost felt like Anna didn't realize what she was truly saying to me. Maybe I was just imagining everything in my head. To hear what I wanted to hear. " I'll be back for you, Anna." I whispered, running quickly into the dark, and misty woods. not turning my head back once. Home wasn't even home to me anymore. I still lived in the old house Bella and I lived in. It was still beautiful, small, yet quiet. It was about time the quiet and loneliness... Disappear. All my worst fears, and sorrows would end tomorrow night, as I partnered Anna in the ballroom.


	20. Midnight kisses

Anna's POV

Falling into the darkness felt like it was the easiest thing to do, to just not wake up. To keep your eyes shut... and just not feel anything but numb. That feeling would continue to stay within my soul, driving me into insanity. Keeping me from the light I was trying so hard to move to. Tears fell from my eyes.. falling to the cold floor. The coldness of the hard bathroom tiles woke me up, causing me to cry only harder than before. I didn't want to wake, just sleep. My eyes slowly opened to me laying on the hard bathroom floor... A bathroom I didn't recognize, which was an odd way to start off my day. I got up, and suddenly felt dizzy and disoriented. My hair was put in a pony, and I was dressed in unfamiliar clothing. I rubbed my head in confusion, and suddenly put it together.

I stared at myself wearily in the mirror and began to cry, as I looked at the background reflection... Noah laying dizzily on his bed. I was terrified to even know what had happened last night that was so traumatizing that I couldn't remember any of it. I began to quiet my whimpers so he wouldn't wake up. The last thing on earth I wanted to do right now was wake him up, and upset him. I tip-toed out of the room quietly, closing my eyes tightly together, hoping I hadn't disturbed him. I left the door open knowing the door would squeak if I shut it. Couldn't take that risk. I walked out finally to the kitchen, to find it was completely messed up. A few beer bottles broken on the wooden floor. I began to remember. I felt the side of my head, and cringed at the open wound that was left there. A beer bottle was smashed to my head. Only the glass shards cutting open my head. That would be hard to hide from Edward.

I also moved my eyes to a small syringe that was scrambled on the table, small liquids still oozing out of the core of the plastic bottle from what was left over. I picked it up, carefully avoiding the needled end of it. It smelled ghastly.. Death had been written all over the small injection. Another memory came to my head. I was being pulled around, whipped in every direction possible, not an easy grip to escape from. I cried for help as the syringe was injected into my arm, causing me to feel faint, and eventually in a matter of seconds, black out. "I was drugged?" I questioned, still a little shocked, and still feeling quite numb... not the best feeling in the world, but I got used to it as time went on, especially now.

" Pardon me?" Noah's voice had gone off like Bells and whistles in my head.

" Noah." I turned slowly to see him standing right next to me. Even by the way his breath smelled you could tell he was waisted. I began to cringe at the horrible oder.

" I'm sorry, darling. Did I scare you?" He put his hands gently on my shoulder.

" Noah, I just want to go home." I begged, my voice uneven in fright. I thought I pulled it together quite nicely considering I was horrified.

" Oh you'll go home." He smiled slyly. " But first, let's get some things straightened out." He said firm and strong.

" What do you want?" I asked groaning.

" You will tell your father nothing of what happened last night, and instead you will tell him exactly what he wants to hear. You breaking up with me and leaving me. Which, we all know that's not going to happen. Is it?" He asked his voice threatening on many levels.

" No." I spoke too soon.

" You weren't suppose to tell him what happened in the past few months of our relationship anyway. Explain to me how that got out?" He said grinding his teeth together in anger. Pulling at my sore arms. I cried out from the horrible stinging pain.

" I'm pregnant,Noah. It's going to get out sooner or later." I rolled my eyes backing away from him. " Idiot." I muttered under my breath. " Listen, you've done crazy things to me before... but drugging me? Noah, no matter what you do to me anymore, I refuse to go on with this anymore. I'm done with you. I know that those words are what got me drugged in the first place, but I don't care, as long as I'm free from you." I said strong and firm, my legs showing a hint of resistance to my stance. I began to shake, but it was easily able to hide.

" Wrong answer." He spoke happily and grabbed me from behind. " You're not leaving me." He spoke holding me strongly in his grip. I looked directly in his eyes, hoping that by seeing anger in his eyes, I could see resentfulness. My moans and pleads, were no use... it would always just make this situation worse. I kept begging in my mind.

Please, let me go. Please,please, please let me go. No hope just sudden reaction. Anger was filling his entire face, then suddenly confusion. He began to kiss me fiercely, and passionately, I also felt a pinch to my back as he held onto me. A reaction I'd always wanted from him, just not leading to the point where pain and poison would set in. " You will stay won't you?" He asked confused.. and somewhat melancholy. I looked at him and saw he was sad to hear me say I didn't want to stay. I shook my head, and replied carefully and quietly.

" No... I can't." I said as sad as he was. " I can't do this anymore, Noah. You could've killed me last night." I spoke softly waiting for him to answer. His face grew angry again, something I feared of happening. I closed my eyes not wanting to see what would happen next. I could already see it in my head.

" Then leave." He said hiding his anger.... I didn't know how to reply. How to move. He was finally after several years of torment, letting me leave him. " Leave!" He screamed out now. My legs carried me out of the house and I ran straight out the door, my car was missing. What happened to it? That didn't matter. I still needed to run before Noah changed his mind and I was officially screwed.

I looked out towards the street, to find a car up ahead pulling into his drive. It was Jasper's car. I cried happy to see him today. It was still dark out. I didn't want to know what time it was. I got in the car and we rushed out. " Are you okay?" Jasper asked concerned looking at me.

" Yeah..." I spoke dizzily... Everything began to blur, and I felt faint again, no sooner did I realize, Noah had drugged me once again.

" Anna." Jasper spoke quieter and quieter. To the point where his voice in my head could no longer be heard. Everything went absolutely black after that.

****************************

I woke up not too long after. Opening my eyes to see I was in my room, and Jasper, and Edward were sitting by my bedside.

" Good afternoon." Edward and Jasper said in unison. It made my head spin as I slowly sat up. Jasper offered me what looked to be like ice chips.

" What's this?" I asked curiously.

" Their ice chips. You were throwing up all morning." He admitted. I took it from him at put it to my over heated head, which made it feel cold to my head.

" I know, and last night too." I added, rubbing the side of my head again. Edward put his finger gently to the crease of my elbow in confusion. " Noah drugged me because I refused to stay with him any longer." I whispered in defeat. " But he let me go." I smiled slightly now. I was free... The words repeated reluctantly in my head over and over again. Eradicating me.

" I know... you seemed kind of dazed while you were passed out... Are you alright now?" Edward asked raising his hand to touch my forehead.

" I'm fine." I assured him. " I'm sorry about last night, Jasper." I spoke guilty.

" No, no... it's fine. You were doing the right thing.. .I'm just sorry it turned around on you. I'm glad you're feeling better." He smiled kissing me gently. My eyes lit up in amazement. My feels were also disrupted with a humph in the back ground. Jasper smiled at that proudly.

" So, what's the plan tonight?" I asked curiously, looking at his hazel eyes.

" Um, the party, I guess. Are you still up to going to that? You look tired." I told him I felt fine. He should've believed me. I guess I was his excuse to getting out of this thing. I knew Jasper felt obligated to go.

" Yes, I'm alright to go." I smiled and giggled. " I don't know if you are alright to go... You seem tense." I smiled still, kissing his cheek.

" I am a little tense, actually." He admitted and kissed me again on my lips. How long could this go on for? I stopped and laid my head gently on my pillow, groaning at the clock the read 3:00 P.M. I was not looking forward to wearing the corseted dress Alice picked out for me. Even though it was my favorite... it was impossibly uncomfortable. Time went on and on, until hit 7:00, the party began in an hour. I ran quickly out of bed, and slipped my corset on, and then the long elegantly blue dress on. Curling my hair, pinning each unique curl to different parts of the back of my head. I finally after a half hour, looked like I could've been a princess. The finishing touch was my mother's locket she gave to me before the incident.... I wore it, like I wore nothing else.

It was a small genuine locket. It had a bright blue topaz in the middle, and then a crescent circling it. It was absolutely beautiful... And fit the dress quite nicely. I finally got up putting padded heals on and walked downstairs slowly, seeing more and more of Jasper as I continued to walk. His beautiful smile was unlike any other. It was most certainly dazzling. His eyes widened... hopefully that was a good thing. I finally walked to him. He was speechless. " You look.... stunning." The words came out proudly. He kissed me once then put his arm around me." Are you ready to get this over with?" He asked while walking me to his sports car.

" I'm ready, are you?" I asked looking at him now out of curiosity.

" No." He replied, and we both laughed.

" Too bad." I spoked and giggled once more. I had never felt so happy before. We got in the car and drove off to the party.. The building itself was bigger than most buildings in Forks, then again it wasn't in Forks. We parked and got out. Edward was standing next to Alice, by the huge entrance. The entrance doors were painted in gold, and a mixture of silver combined. The floor was completely white marbled. It felt like walking on top of hardened glass. It was beautiful land polished. Jasper turned his face towards Alice, looking at her with a haven't-seen- them- in-ages, look. Alice looked different than she did seven years ago. He facial features hadn't changed, but her hair did. It was long, and less spiky, tonight it was curled, like mine. But the style was different. She was wearing a pure white dress, it was shorter than mine of course... No acceptation's for that.

" Alice." Jasper spoke, somewhat irritably.. She did not reply back though, only kissed Edward firmly on his lips. Jealousy tricks were the most annoying of all. I rolled my eyes and pulled Jasper more swiftly to the main ballroom. The walls were painted in black and gold, a white chandelier hanging in the middle of the dance floor. A white balcony above us... and then a beautifully detailed ceiling. It was like art museum type work. It was so very hard to describe. " Pretty nice, huh?" Jasper said in amazement, still looking at me.

" Yeah, it's pretty over the top." I said still looking around, seeing people who would run into me every now and then, I didn't really know. No people their were around my age. So, nothing mattered.

" You do look beautiful tonight." Jasper spoke softly kissing my neck.

" Thanks... you don't look so bad yourself." I smiled politely. I put my hands gently on his shoulders, listening to the slow music. We stared into each others eyes for the most long, intimately, passionate... moment. The feelings I felt inside were indescribable, and knowing Jasper could feel the same I did... it felt all the more better. We began to dance slowly, Jasper moving his hands and settling at my hips. keeping his eyes focused on me. " Thank you for coming to this, even though I know you really didn't want to." I smiled slightly.. not wanting to be rude for bringing it up.

" Nah, don't sweat it... I'm having a good time, Anna... Really." He smiled back at me.I felt like I was revived again, and Jasper was the one who saved me. Again, and again, and again. I did not want the feeling to ever leave, and I'm sure after tonight, it wouldn't... We'd be with each other forever. I reached in to kiss the very lips I never thought I would kiss, passionately, and anxiously. This night was the best night of my life.

" I love you." I spoke softly, drifting off into the music.

" I love you too." He smiled peacefully. Everything else in the background slowly disappeared.

Aww... I love Jasper, and Anna together. This is not the end.. it's only the beginning! review please


	21. Revived, and Lost

**Bella's POV**

Time was racing, nothing was making sense every morning when I awoke to an unfamiliar place. Dark skinned men surround me, making me feel nervous, anxious. Something felt missing, something very important, like a whole other half of me was gone, and I couldn't retrieve it. Jacob walked in, the only one I knew out of all of them. " Bella." He spoke angelically. " Are you alright?" He asked concerned. I nodded, my eyes focusing on the floor. " Bad dream?" He asked. I nodded, lying. I hadn't dreamt in years, nor had I slept, just pretending.. so he wouldn't worry. He could tell something else was wrong.

" Something doesn't feel right." I spoke in a whisper, horrified.

" It was just a dream, Bella." He smiled slightly and patted my shoulder. The only thing I remembered about my life, was that Jacob was one of my best friends, a doctor named Carlisle, who happened to be a vampire changed me after the accident, which I couldn't remember much of either.... and I was being hidden from someone, I didn't know the persons name I was being kept from. Jacob would not speak of him.

" Right." I spoke rhetorically and closed my eyes gently. " Why can't I remember?" I asked myself, as Jacob left me. It frightened me I couldn't remember half of who I was, or what I was. I needed someone to explain everything to me. Someone I knew well, and someone who knew me well. But who... Nobody came to mind. This was going to be a long day. " Jacob!" I called anxiously.

" What is it, Bella?" He walked into my room and sat down next to me again.

" I want to pay Carlisle a visit." I looked at Jacob with sad eyes now. I felt like crying, but held in the small whimpers that wanted to escape.

" Why, Bella? Is something wrong?" He asked looking more concerned than before.

" No, it's just... I feel... lost..." I began to cry now. I wasn't strong enough to hold it in. He held me to him and rocked me back and forth. It calmed me, but I still needed to get this straightened out.

" I don't know if Carlisle's busy or not though, Bella." He sighed wishing there was something he could do.

" Jake, please." I begged quietly, sobbing on his shirt. " I can't remember the last time I felt happy, let alone anything." I sighed.

" Fine." He groaned and pulled out his cell phone and punched in the numbers slowly. I laid myself down on the bed, while listening to him talk. " Carlisle? It's Jacob, Bella would like for you to come over, can you do it today?" He waited patiently for a reply. " I understand.... see you then." He hung up and shoved the phone into his jean pocket. "He said he will be right over." I was happy to hear those words. I wanted to know who I was. Every small detail of my life. Would I be able to leave the house after this? I was always was confined in the house. I couldn't leave to go anywhere. Being hidden wasn't the easiest thing.

fifteen minutes later of waiting, Carlisle finally showed up. A face I was happy to see. " Hello,Bella." Carlisle smiled, but seeing my facial expression, his face grew sad. " Is there something I can help you with?" He asked, his voice calm, and monotone. My eyes grew weary in place.

" I want to know who I am, everything... I want to know about my family... My likes and dislikes... because I don't remember anything... and I know I'm suppose to... Carlisle, I know, you know, you can help me. Just tell me the truth. What's going on? Why am I truly in this place.. why am I always hidden?" I asked getting more curious as I went on. Carlisle sighed and looked at Jacob who was nodding.

" Bella, this was the wrong thing to do to you... I understand. I think now is the best time to say something.... My family, is technically your family... through marriage." I smiled slightly... I was married, but to who? I didn't know any body. " You were married to my son, Edward. But he left one night when you were very ill. Death threatening almost... And you begged him to turn you, he refused, and left. Jasper my other son, came to you... and told you he loved you, and would protect you. Which, was true... he loved you very much. so you two got married, and were happy together..." He smiled then sighed.

" What happened?" I asked slowly, and unsure.

" You one night, were raped.... and you overdosed yourself with pain medication, and almost killed yourself. So, that same night I realized you were in a coma and needed air, I took you to my home and put you on a respirator, and then changed you. After that... I didn't know what I should've done.... My family already had chaos growing in their life with you alive.... I didn't want that happening anymore. So, Jacob offered to take you in and keep you safe and hidden from our family.. It wasn't an easy process since you already hadn't remembered anything of your passed life.. you had no memory, actually. You suffered brain damage. I felt awful, and horrible...I still do now." He looked guilty.. I could tell he was. " I'm so sorry."

One question went threw my mind over and over again. "What happened to them, Carlisle?" I asked titling my head. He looked weary to answer.

" Well, Bella.... They think you're dead. Jasper has actually fallen in love with your daughter. Everything's backwards now." My daughter? I had a daughter? I needed to see them.

" Why have you kept me in this confined room for seven hard years of my life? When I had a family, and friends that cared and loved me?" I asked now feeling tears roll down my cheeks.

" Alice, my daughter, who was married to Jasper originally, wanted to kill you. She wanted Jasper back, but he wanted nothing to do with her. So, we kept you here, to keep you safe, knowing Jacob would do a fine job in protecting you. I do hope you get your memory back." He said calmly still.

" There's no chance. After seven years of me not having a memory or idea of who I was... I think it's time I see them all again." I ran to grab Jacob's keys and got in the car and drove out of the place. I finally was outside... The wind felt absolutely amazing to my skin. It was my chance to now finally see my family after seven years. I needed to see them, needed to know them.

I pulled in Carlisle's drive and knocked on the door." Hello!" I shouted, knocking anxiously over and over again. Finally, a caramel color haired women answered the door, her eyes wide in confusion.. Was she happy to see me and hugged me tightly.

" Bella, is it really you?" She asked smiling largely, rubbing her eyes once or twice.

" Yes, it is really me... may I ask who you are?" I asked quite confused actually... more than she was.

" I'm Esme, Carlisle's wife.... you don't.... remember me?" She stuttered. I nodded my head no.

" Can you tell me where Jasper is? I need to talk to him." It began to rain as I stood outside.

" Come.... in." She stuttered again and sat me down on the warm couch. Silence filled the room.

" Bella, if you don't mind me asking... where have you been the past seven years?" She asked awestruck I was here, right now.

" Out...." I replied, which was a lie.. I've been inside most of my life.

" We all thought you were dead.... you look so, so different." It was true... My skin complexion was much paler than before, and my eyes were bright red. Almost intimidating to stare at. My hair had grown longer, and the color had changed, not by my doing though. My skin was hard and rough, and could now sparkle if I chose to stand in the sunlight.

" I know, and I'm so sorry." I couldn't possibly tell her the truth, I would be hurting her and both Carlisle if I told. " I just need to know where Jasper.... It's sorta an emergency." I explained.

" Oh... Well, he's with Anna right now. And that at his place... well, your place." Unfortunately for me, I could not remember where that was and I had no idea who Anna was.

" Who's Anna?" I asked curiously.

" Anna's your daughter." The struck me hard. My daughter was still alive... full grown by now.

" Could you give me directions?" I asked politely. She looked at me baffled and walked to a small desk near by.

" Sure..." She said slowly.. handing me a small piece of paper, with what I needed.

" Thanks." I smiled and ran out the door, forgetting I had fast speed. I went to my and drove exactly where it told me to go. I pulled into the driveway of a small house. Two other cars were in the drive, so I parked on the side. I walked up slowly to the door and knocked lightly. " Hello." I spoke softly. Jasper finally answered the door. I never pictured him to look the way he did. He was beautiful. His dark brown curls pushed away from his eyes. He looked shocked and bemused by my appearance, and dropped the canned drink that was in his hand.

" Bella?" He froze, his eyes wide in confusion, and disbelief.

" Hi." I smiled. The rain poured hard on my hair, causing me to get soaked. " May I come in?" I asked politely and watched him nod. Still speechless.

" Bella, I-" He paused. He needed some time, and I understood. " How are you-" He paused again, gasps being let out every now and then. " But I saw you-" Still pausing, he couldn't complete his sentences. " I really need to go hunting." He said rhetorically and breathed out.

" It really is me, Jasper." I assured him. " I'm here, right now. You're really talking to me, seeing me in the flesh." I said holding one of my arms up carelessly and then let it go, watching it drop to my side.

" Seven years, you've been gone... dead.... and now you want me to believe you're truly alive. I don't really know what to say... or how to say it... you look so... so different." He admitted examining my pale skin. " What happened to you?" He asked confused, still awestruck, like Esme was.

" I lost my memory... I had been brought back to life, Jasper... and I got turned." His eyes grew cautious.

" Who turned you?" He asked.. waiting for me to reply, but I couldn't. " Bella, who turned you, tell me the truth." I finally gave in.

" It was Carlisle... Carlisle turned me and hid me from everyone I knew. I don't remember much, Jasper... and I'm here to get it back. Start over." I said looking around to see if there was any sign of Anna. and here she was lying on the couch.

" Jasper, who is this?" Anna asked smiling slightly, but as cautious as he was.

" This, Anna, is your mother... Bella."

**Okay... I know Carlisle would never be the type of person to keep something like that from Bella.** but keep reviewing


	22. Forgetting how to speak

**Jasper's POV**

_a couple minutes before._

Anna had cuddled up next to me, holding me tightly to her. I wanted to ask her to marry me. but I knew it was way to early for her. She was under so much pressure already. I didn't want her to be stressed. I would wait for a month or so, before I got serious about anything. I kissed her gently as she dosed off, she kissed back, but her attempt wasn't as enthusiastic. She was tired, so I let her sleep. " Sleep, my precious, Anna." I spoke in a whisper.

I stroked her hair every now and then smiling. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door, while the rain was pouring down miserably. I picked up a stray can than was at the tip of my feet and carried it to the door as I went to answer. I looked threw the window, but she didn't look recognizable. I opened the door with one hand, the tin can in the other.

All realization was gone, confusion, a small poison set in, as her face became more clear to my memory. It was a face I thought I would be joyous to see once again. Rejoice in happiness and hug tightly. But instead I dropped the can and could feel it hit the side of my foot. Bouncing off my hard skin and hit the wall closest to me. I pushed my hair out of my face as I stood frozen in her presence.

She had changed so much. Her skin was so pale, more than it had been before. As the sun shone barely hiding behind the clouds. The light hit her, her skin began to sparkle, shining like diamonds, like mine... It only made me wondered... Her eyes were a different color. Her eyes weren't russet anymore. They were now a bright red. I got lost in her eyes, as I continued to stare, it wasn't really hard. I couldn't have possibly felt more embarrassed.

I began to open my mouth, but couldn't get words to form. So, I decided to speak her name. Never thinking I would be able to, ever again because I thought she was dead. This was the hardest moment to trust what I was seeing was true. " Bella." I barely was able to speak.

" Hi." She smiled, her smile gleaming at me. It was the most beautiful thing I could've ever possibly seen. Her voice, it was angelic. It was a voice, my heart lingered to hear again, but couldn't. Seven long, miserable, cruel years, finally paid off. I felt like someone was on my side, bringing her back to me. Bringing me back to life. But then reality struck me, she was alive all these years, but never bothered to come back. Unless something bad happened to her, something I couldn't even imagine.

" May I come in?" She asked politely.. She voice hit me again, making it hard to reply, let alone breath. But what did I need air for? I was a vampire for crying out loud!

I began to try to speak... but all that came out was absolute nonsense." Bella, I-" I suddenly stopped, then started again." How are you-" I wanted to finish that sentence.. It was the most important, but stupidly enough I couldn't." But I saw you-" It was true. I had seen her fall to the ground dead. Not breathing. Completely dead. But that was my mistake. The next thing that was able to come out was... " I really need to go hunting." I felt crazy, and I began to breath out to calm myself. It wasn't happening. The rain began to pour harder and I watched Bella get soaked.

" It's really me, Jasper." She said, her voice calm. Her breath under control, unlike mine." I'm here, right now. You're really talking to me, seeing me in the flesh." She held up her arm and let it drop to her side carelessly. I rolled my eyes and laughed in disbelief, this was unreal. Maybe it was a nightmare?

" Seven years, you've been gone... dead.... and now you want me to believe you're truly alive. I don't really know what to say... or how to say it... you look so... so different." The words had come out regrettably harsh, and I could feel myself tense up. Her face grew confused. I began to look at her examining her face, body, skin. Everything was so different, and I haven't been able to face that yet. I wouldn't let myself. She looked like a dead corpse that was still breathing. " What happened to you?" This question scared me.. I'm not quite sure I wanted to know what happened. Chances are it would pain me to listen.

" I lost my memory... I had been brought back to life, Jasper... and I got turned." She shrugged her shoulders, and she acted like it was no big deal. It obviously was a big shock for me to hear. My Bella, was finally a vampire like she always dreamed. This is what she got. She couldn't remember anything. She didn't remember me. Then how did she end up here? Was it Karma. Even though I didn't believe in good luck, or bad luck. I believed that good things were meant to happen for a reason. It was destiny.

" Who turned you?" I asked. Trying to hold in the anger, confusion. Was I picking that from her? Her vibes weren't readable. She just turned away and sighed. This scared me. Did I know them? Is that why she hesitated." Bella, who turned you, tell me the truth." She was still hesitating, but finally gave in.

" It was Carlisle... Carlisle turned me and hid me from everyone I knew. I don't remember much, Jasper... and I'm here to get it back. Start over." Carlisle? My mouth dropped open in utter shock. So, he knew she was still alive. How could he do this. I would surely kill someone, my anger was steaming within me. I was so confused. I looked at Bella's gaze to see she was looking behind me. She caught eyes on Anna. I began to grow cautious and stepped in front of her gaze. I could hear Anna groan quietly, and rustle on the couch. Tossing and turning. She began to get up and walked by me. Her eyes hadn't grown in shock yet. She didn't know who it was. Or did she?

" Jasper, who is this?" Anna asked smiling slightly, but as cautious as I was.

" This, Anna, is your mother." I replied, and sighed quietly.

" No, there's no way... I watched her die. It's impossible. Maybe you're a morpher to look like bella or something... but you're not real, this can't be happening." She began to hyperventilate. I hugged her to calm her down.

" It is her." I assured her, rubbing her back. Bella was confused by my reactions to calming Anna down. I had no idea what to do now. A few minutes ago, I knew exactly who I was going to marry. But now... I'm not quite so sure.... and that's scaring me. I can't choose wrong.. it's impossible. Bella always made me like I was a different person. Someone who was much happier. Then, Anna... The girl who stepped in after Bella passed. Well, after Bella's death was practically faked. Who to choose? Who to love? What to do? What is there left to do when you're in a love triangle with two beautiful women.

I began to caress Bella's cheek. She stared at me with lust in her eyes. I loved her so much, but I couldn't just let myself give in like that yet. I needed to talk to her. Ask what has been going on in her life. Why she couldn't remember anything. What was going to happen. I had to tell edward about this. He would surely freak. " Come... in, Bella.... there's plenty of room." I stuttered and motioned towards the couch. She walked in quickly and Anna shut the door behind her. Bella sat on the couch and began to shiver... She was cold?

" I'll be right back." I spoke, mostly to Anna, but it was also meant for Bella too. I didn't want her getting scared of my absence. I grabbed my cell phone, and dialed Edward's number. He picked up quickly.

" _Hello?" _He spoke firmly.

" Edward, Bella's alive." I said still my voice freaking out.

_" Haha, very funny."_ He thought I was joking.

" Edward, I'm serious!" I said, I knew he thought I was crazy, but what did it matter. I had the proof sitting right on my couch. " If you don't believe then come over for a visit and talk to her. Anna has been for an hour now." I said my voice becoming firm in determination.

" _Alright, since you're trying so hard to convince me... I'll come." _I could tell he was smiling on the other end.... He hung up.. and silence came over me. A fool I would not be proved. But someone who has seen his true love arise from the long dead. I came back in and saw Anna had fallen asleep, and Bella watching over her, like I had some moments ago. This was going to be a long day.


	23. Another Chance At Love

**Jasper's POV**

_Flashback_

" _Promise me no matter what, we'll always be together?" She asked it as if it were a question. She was doubting my love towards her. _

" _I promise." I said firmly, holding onto her shoulders tightly and kissing her ever so gently. " I would never be so stupid as to let you go." Of course, little did I know we would soon be separated forever. " Stay…. With me…. Tonight." I whispered the 4 words to her as silently as possible._

" _I can't." She sighed in defeat._

" _Can I change your mind on that?" I asked smiling, pulling out something that was about to change not just my life but hers as well. I pulled out a small box, and got down on my knees and opened the box, to appear inside of it, an engagement ring. " Marry me?" I asked and smiled. She nodded her head yes, tears filling her beautiful russet eyes. I kissed her. The kiss felt like it would be my last._

" _I love you." She murmured._

" _I know…" I paused and watched her smile and hit my shoulder. " Because I love you too." I smiled teasingly._

" _Don't do that." Her voice got higher in manipulation. _

" _I won't, I swear." I raised up my hand and pulled her into another kiss._

" _You're being extremely greedy tonight." She smiled while still kissing me._

" _I know, and your point is? Are you enjoying your night tonight?" I asked confused._

" _Yes, I am… more than you know." She smiled wrapping herself around me._

" _Then the greediness can slip by for now, don't ya think?" I asked swaying her hips back and forth slowly._

" _Yeah, I'll let it slide." She murmured softly in my ear. That night we both laid in the fields together. The night wind blowing against us. I could smell the fragrance of Bella's hair filling my oxygen. It was beautiful, but too much. She cuddled up against me and I held her to me protectively. This night couldn't have gotten any better. I kissed her forehead and watched her sleep the rest of the night. _

_Present Time._

I woke up.

Everything was so clear in my head as to what was going on, or what had happened in our past, but it was completely erased from Bella's. I still don't trust completely that she remembers me, or Anna, or any of us for that matter. Edward was on his way here. The perfect time and moment to prove I was not going crazy, because I absolutely felt like I was.

Sometimes I would try to compare, both Bella, and Anna, but nothing was going good. Most of the things I would compare were the same. They both went through the same exact thing. They were both wonderful people, both so beautiful, both so broken. Whatever choice I made, whoever was looking down on me, would not be in my favor when it came to love.

I've been miserable most of my existence, and why would the misery end now? I would just be hurting someone. None of this was exactly fair to Anna, and I knew that. I couldn't stand to see her heart broken. Then again, I couldn't stand to see Bella heart broken either……. I can never win can I?

Bella was sitting on the couch next to me, and Anna who was long fallen asleep. I held her against me protectively. " So, why'd Carlisle turn you?" Was the first thing to escape my lips, even though it wasn't the thing I wanted to bring up first. But she shrugged her shoulders in reply. " You mean he just turned without a reason?" I asked slightly confused and angry.

" I don't know, he seemed so determined to, so I let him. I apparently didn't know what he so determined to do until he did it ." She rubbed the side of her neck. I assumed that's where he sunk his teeth into her skin.

"So you had no idea he was going to turn you…. You didn't plead obsessively until he finally gave in? Because you know you've always had a horrible habit of doing that. Memory, or no memory." I chuckled in amazement.

" No, I did not beg." She inhaled. " He said that I had to face death sooner or later, and it looked like death was coming sooner than I hoped. Some girl… named..," She stopped trying to remember, I think it was… No.. That's not it." My poor Bella suffering from brain damage. " Oh well, anyway this girl came to me, telling me my death would come sooner than I thought. She acted like she hated my guts." She sighed at that. She didn't like the fact that somebody hated her. I kissed her forehead gently, just like always. But then I realized something, but that couldn't possibly of been right. That would prove my theory against Alice, if she was talking about her…. A traitor.

" Babe…," I shook my head and began to stutter," I mean, Bella. Describe what that girl look liked for me.. If you can remember." She began to flicker her eyes back and forth staring out the window right next to us. Not bothering to look at me.

" She had dark, long, hair. Blonde highlights streaking small sections of her head. And she was very short. Like 4'9". She was still trying to search through her thoughts to think correctly. "She's a vampire too." She added. This was hardest thing to look past. Alice…. The girl I once loved, betrayed me. Once again this would be no surprise, but to Edward… it might set him off. Finally after that, the door bell rang. I went to go answer the door, Edward was standing straight and tall, searching behind me.

" Well… where is she?" I turned around and still saw her sitting on the couch. Was he blind? I raised my eye brow in confusion.

"Um, Edward… She's right there." I pointed to the couch.

" Haha, that's very cute, Jasper, but I didn't come all the way over here just be under your company. Now, where's is she?" He asked again. I saw him roll his eyes. Still looking for her. Obviously, he wasn't as sober as I hoped he would be.

" Drink much?" I questioned, knowing that wasn't true at all.

" No, I don't drink at all… vampire remember?" He crossed his arms impatiently, which made me gulp loudly.

" Edward, she's right there." I pointed again, this time with more enthusiasm. Bella looked at me confused.

" You're wasting my time." Edward growled.

" She's really here. She doesn't quite remember everything about her life.." I felt insane…. Like all hope was lost. Was I honestly imagining all that? I came back up to her. Telling Edward to hold on. I sat down next to Bella.

" Bella, please tell me you're really alive." I begged.

" I am." She said quietly. Regrettably.

" Are there any powers you want to tell me about?" I asked quickly… she looked up at me, and nodded.

" I can make myself invisible to anyone I choose… who is he?" She asked nervousness filled her voice.

" He won't hurt you… Please let me show him you exist. Otherwise, I'm going to look really stupid if you don't." I admitted, blushing slightly. She nodded. She was concentrating… Too hard, it almost seemed like. I could feel that tension in her body. It was most uncomfortable. Suddenly I heard a gasp, and Bella panicked at that. " It's okay, Bella. It's okay." I tried to calm her.

" Hello." Edward stepped closer. Looking at her with disbelief as I did.

" Told you I wasn't kidding." I said caressing Bella's cheek while Edward came closer.

" I'm sorry I didn't believe you." He said quietly putting his hand to Bella's other cheek. She began to feel uncomfortable.

" Don't touch me!" She screamed smacking both of our hands away.

" Easy, Bella." I begged.

" Please." She begged quietly breathing out hard. I hugged her gently, and noticed it soothed her. I made her feel safe. That made me feel great. " I used to love you." She told me quietly.

" No…" I lied. She looked at me confused. And looked at Edward full of lust, full of hope. She loved him more than me. " Stupid Karma." I muttered to myself. I didn't want her unhappy with me. Besides I had Anna.

" Bella, this is Edward, Edward, Bella." I smiled politely. " Have fun you two." I was doing this strictly against Alice, which made me laugh. This Edwards last chance at love, and my last chance to do something good in someone's life.


	24. All Is Fair In Love And War

**Bella's POV**

I looked at Jasper confused. I loved him more, but that wasn't enough. He was already in love with someone else. " Jasper." I muttered under my breath, knowing he heard me. He looked at me, sadness was controlling him. I couldn't believe he was hooking me up with practically a complete stranger.

" What?" He whispered.

" What are you doing?" I asked, slightly upset. He was letting me go.

" You'll love Edward. I promise." 'I promise' it sounded so familiar. I didn't like the feeling it brought to the pit of my stomach.

" How do you know that?" I asked.

" Because you married him." He pointed out. I hadn't quite remembered what Carlisle said about Edward, other than he's what I am.

" I love you more, though." I got up, and jasper did as well.

" Can I have one moment alone with Bella, please?" He asked politely ,and Edward nodded. Jasper pulled me into another room. His touch was far more uncomfortable than I thought.

" What are you doing?" I asked scared.

" Listen, I love you too, Bella…. More than you know. But…. I'm with Anna, I'm going to ask her to marry me. She's been in my life far longer than you have." A tear fell down the side of my cheek. " Ah, Bella don't cry." He begged, hugging me.

" I'm too late." I whispered in agony. My heart was breaking into a million pieces, even though I couldn't recognize his face. I felt like I was losing something in my forgotten life, and I was. I was losing the love of my life.

" You're not too late… There's someone who loves you as well, as I." He moved his eyes to Edward.

" Why can't I remember?" I asked sliding my back slowly against the wall.

" I don't know… I wish I could tell you why." He began to whimper with me. He felt my agonizing heartbreak.

" You don't love me anymore." I clarified.

" No." He said quickly in correction. " I will always love you, Bella. I never haven't loved you, but I found someone else. Anna is my love." He kissed my forehead and walked back to the couch. I had no reason to follow. My heart had just been broken. Edward came to my side, and sat down next to me, as I sobbed.

" You okay?" He whispered.

" Yeah, if you qualify breaking up with someone, having your heart ripped out and broken into a million pieces, and not being able to remember anything from past or present, as fine… then yeah I'm great!" I perked up sarcastically and began to cry again. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. I pushed him away and listened to him sigh. " Listen, I barely know you." I sighed hugging my knees.

" I know." He whispered and traced the small line across my cheek. " Would you like to come over to my place tonight?" He asked. My eyes lit up in shock. I couldn't say yes. I just met him, but I was desperate to find love.

" Yes.." I said slowly and unsure.

" Great." He smiled. " I have to go hunting first.. I forgot to when I came up here. I'll drop you off." he said getting up, I mimicked his movement and walked out to his car and got in. Jasper was watching me, miserably through his window. I would now promise myself, that this would be the last time I saw Jasper. He moved on to bigger and better things.

Edward got in after me, and stared up the car. The purr of the engine was relaxing, but I was still nervous. Nervous enough to feel sick to my stomach. " So, who turned you, Bella?" He asked me. Everybody seemed to be asking me this question lately, except for Esme.

" Carlisle." I said once again. My voice getting impatient, as I heard Edward clear his throat.

" Oh, you asked him to?" He looked at me now. Another accusation everybody assumed.

" No." I replied once more.

" Oh…" He now was quiet, and silence filled the car. "He did it by himself." He now added, which made me rage with impatience.

" Yes, now can we please talk about this later?" I begged trying to avoid eye contact.

" Sure." He sighed, his leveling in sadness now.

" Look, I'm sorry I'm being rude, but I'm just tired." He looked at me confused now.

" I don't think you can pull off that excuse anymore, vampires don't sleep." He chuckled, and I began to smile with him. He noticed that. " I can't tell you how long it's been since I'd seen you smile. It was the most perfect thing in the world…. Still is." He smiled perfectly at me.

" Well, your smile is somewhat dazzling too." I tried not to sound desperate.

" Dazzling?" He said repeating the word, but in confusion. " Where'd you get the word dazzling from?" He asked looking at me.

" No where… that's just what I thought it was." I chuckled under my breath embarrassed.

" So, my Bella is still in there somewhere?" He smiled relieved.

" In where?" I asked confused now.

" You're memory is somewhat still there. You used to say that ' I dazzled people, all the time.'" He laughed, paying more attention to the road. He finally pulled in the drive.

" Can I tell you the truth?" I asked not positive about what I was going to tell him.

" Sure, go ahead." He motioned.

" When Carlisle asked to bite me?… I thought he meant he was going to kill me, as in have me for his food… that's why I let him do it… I wanted to die. I couldn't remember anything and I felt alone. When I ate, everything I put in my mouth tasted fowl, and old. But no matter what it was.. Whether it was an apple, or a piece of bread, it just melted the wrong way in my mouth. Like I couldn't enjoy eating anymore. When I hurt myself, or tried to cause self inflicted pain, I couldn't feel anything. Not the burning sensation of the deep cuts or bruises. I couldn't smell anything…I couldn't smell the aroma of flowers, or even see their color. The world just seemed to me like it was full of dull gray colors. And it felt like, like I was dying already. I couldn't take it anymore.. So, I let him turn me… Little did I know… that I could never die after." I began to cry holding onto my arms for self pity.

" Bella." I heard his voice tremble in agony. " I'm so sorry I let all of this happen to you." He kissed me and this time, I didn't refuse his kisses. They were sweet. I could finally feel something deep inside my heart… It was love.

" Don't be. This wasn't your fault." I smiled and continued to kiss him. He got more rough and bit down hard on my lip. " Ouch!." I pulled away, rubbing the part of my bottom lip that was numb.

" I'm sorry that I'm being rough." He apologized. " I need to hunt." He turned off the car, got out, and ran off. I could feel it begin to rain again. This time it was pouring harder than ever. I got out of the car and raced inside. It was nice and warm. Something didn't feel right though… It felt like someone else was here. I know I could hear growling coming from somewhere.

I also heard footsteps, louder as they came towards me. I stared at the wall in front of me, not bothering to turn around to see what was stalking me. "Well, well, well… If it isn't little miss. Bella Swan. It's quite a pleasure to see you showing up in my house." She emphasized on the word 'my'. I turned around in fright. The girls eyes were black. She stepped closer and closer. " What brings you here?" She asked angrily.

" Ed…Edward.. Invited me over." I tried to keep my voice even. But fear would creep in soon enough.

" Oh, did he now?" She chuckled, and I couldn't find a reason why she was laughing, or what was so funny. " You have a lot of nerve showing up, considering, you ruined my life." She growled louder than she originally had. She came closer to me.

Quickly latched her hand to my throat and pinned me against the wall. " This should be fun." I heard her mutter.

" Alice, I don't want to fight you." I remembered her name? How… hitting my head must've helped.

" I know, I wouldn't want to fight me either." She laughed playfully. " But I don't plan to fight you… I plan to kill you." She smiled deviously.

" You can't kill me." I spoke low in a whisper.

" Oh, but I can. All creatures have some way of dying… No one can escape death… not even you." Her smiled was now twisted. I couldn't look at her anymore. I turned my head away from her. " You don't remember how a vampire gets killed do you?" She laughed. But something came to my head, the second time she hit it towards the concrete wall.

_Flashback_

_I was sitting in the car, panic filled my face. I looked younger, much younger. I was in a car with Edward? " So what now? He's coming after me?!" I screamed in panic. " We have to kill him. Tear him apart and burn the pieces. It's the only way to destroy a vampire." Edward spoke, his voice filled with as much panic as mine._

_Present_

" I remember." I spoke softly. I looked down to her pants pocket and realized she had matches in it. She was honestly going to kill me. But she wouldn't be stupid enough to set a fire off in the house would she?

She pushed me harder into the wall. I could feel the pain, the sharp edge of the wall brought to my neck. It cutting deeper, and deeper, into my hard skin. I screamed. " Ah, Alice stop!" I begged.

" I'm sorry. Did that hurt?" She asked sarcastically.

" Yes, now stop!" I pleaded. She only pushed me hard into, causing me a loss of breath. And blood dripping out of the back of my neck. The burning sensation, I could finally feel. No numbness came at all. Which I wished for now.

" You're not taking my Edward from, like you did Jasper." She said, gritting her teeth together.

" Please don't." I begged. She loosened her grip on my, letting me be able to move my hips. I kicked her in her jaw. I heard it crack. I also saw her flying into the wall. She began to moan in pain slowly. I took her by her throat, like she did before and shoved her against the wall. " Doesn't feel too good does it?" I asked sarcastically and smiled. " You brought this on yourself Alice." I said throwing her into the glass window. Hearing it and watching it shattered, and hit the ground forcefully.

Blood rushing down Alice's forehead. She growled again. She threw a chair at me, and it caused me to fall hard on my back. The air had been knocked out of me. I could hear the sound of glass clattering together. That wasn't a good sign. I knew I had to get up. No matter how weak, or how much it hurt me to. No sooner did I plan to get up, I felt a stabbing through my back. It felt like something was being carved downwards. It hurt immensely. I cried out once more. " Stop!" I begged.

She stepped on my leg. I could believe the strength that was built up in her. Another flash back came to my mind.

_Flashback_

"_Beautiful, very visually dynamic. I chose my stage well." He smiled deviously. I was already dizzy from the pain in my head. The blood spilling. The smell filling my nostrils, making me sick, nauseous. " Tell, Edward to avenge you!." There was no answer from me. He stomped hard down on my leg, cracking it, breaking it in at least five different place. I cried out. It hurt so much. " Tell Edward how much it hurts! Tell him to avenge you! Tell him!"_

" _No, Edward! Don't! Please, Don't!" I cried, and sure enough Edward was there coming to my rescue. " I'm sorry." He spoke_

_Present_

Edward was my rescuer. My savior. Jasper along side him. Helping kill James. " Alice, you have to stop." I begged. She wouldn't listen. I was still face on my stomach, feeling the liquid run down the sides of shirt. I could smell that fowl, salty smell again. I was bleeding. I began to crawl towards the door, as I heard a match being lit. She was insane.

My leg was painfully being pulled back, I was being dragged even further than where I was originally, she pulled me over the glass that was still lying on the floor. My skin sliding over the sharp shards of glass. Cutting deeper into my skin. Then finally she pulled me onto the grass, the glass sticking in the bottom of my chin, neck, and further down. I wanted to die, and that's what would happen in short time. I couldn't move. I was too paralyzed to even think about it.

The match was dropped to the ground, and I could hear a fire crackling against the dark wood. Once again another flash back came to mind.

"_My world isn't for you, Bella." He stood by a tree not looking at me._

" _What happened with Jasper was nothing!" I yelled, my voice was begging in agony._

" _I know, it was exactly to be expected. Bella, I'm not taking you with me." He said low. That was one of the worst flash back I had ever had experienced. It was the most painful._

_Present_

I had no choice I had to try. Try to get away. It wouldn't work I already felt the numbness in my legs occurred. She began to pull me into the fire. I could feel the heat get hotter and hotter and struggled to move my lifeless body into it. She put me down. For a quick second I thought she was letting me go, but instead she cut the front of my stomach. It caused me to black out.

********************

I heard screaming, screams calling for my name. I opened my eyes and saw it was Alice, slightly inches away from the fire. Brutally injured, someone else was by me. Someone I couldn't recognize. " Alice?" I leaned up confused and disoriented. Jasper came to my side.

" Bella!" He looked at every inch of me, and saw I was bleeding. " Don't worry, vampires heal. You will too… eventually." He smiled and kissed me. I began to panic and tried to pull Alice out.

" Alice!" I screamed. My best friend was dying.

" Help me." She begged. Tears filling her eyes.

" Don't worry." I looked up at Jasper and saw him watch and stare.

" Do what you feel you need to do, Bella." He smiled proud of me. I reached in and grabbed Alice's hand, and pulled her out. The fire was quickly put out with salt and water.

" Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded and began to breath out hard.

" I'm leaving." She said quietly. " You won't see me anymore. I just caused you more and more damage. This is my fault your daughter got hurt half the time, and you got raped, and overdosed. I could've prevented that, but I was angry, and I just wanted Jasper back, but now I don't see anyone in my future. I'm leaving, you won't find me, and I'm leaving Edward. For whoever to take. I don't care who. I know who he'll take, Bella, but you need to prepare yourself for what will happen.. And I'm sorry about your baby." She sighed and looked away.

" Baby?" Jasper asked confused, moving towards me. That's right I was pregnant, but Carlisle turned me.

" Yes, I was pregnant with our baby." I looked at Jasper, and watched his eyes grow wide in horror. " I couldn't save it, like I wanted to, Jasper. I'm sorry." I cried in his arms and watched him comfort me. Sooth me. I would miss this relationship between us. I knew it would be gone soon anyway.

As time went on, A year had quickly gone by. I never had the courage to tell Jasper how I truly felt. I was scared, I didn't want to ruin his life. I wanted him to be happy. So kept my mouth shut. Misery began to creep in, then depression. But I had my memory back, and I had Edward trying to win me over.

" Bella, I know I've asked this before, and it went wrong." He sighed. " But will you marry me?" He asked. Holding out the ring he proposed to me with before. I was speechless. How could I tell him what was going on?

" Edward- I… I.." I didn't know how to reply. I kept my mouth shut, and stared at him with a half smile.

"_No." _I thought, but didn't dare to say it a loud. I loved him, but not as much as Jasper. I knew he couldn't hear me. I still was unreadable to anyone.


	25. Making The Right Choice

**Bella's POV**

I was staring at myself, horrified by the reflection in the mirror. For a vampire I hadn't looked so hideous like this in my existence. Also seeing a bulge on my lower abdomen, was the now forever reminder that what could've been, would now... never be. I was forever pregnant, stuck with Jasper's baby. No thanks to Carlisle. The baby that I was carrying, was killed, only because of a stupid, and pitiful secret trying so hard to be kept hidden. Edward walked in on my horrible moment I was having. He knew.. he had to of. I was not sure if Edward was there while I was laying helplessly on the ground in Jasper's arms. Telling him what I had such a hard time remembering before that I wanted to tell him them.

The false pregnancy. Being held captive by Jake for those seven horrible years. Practically everything that was bad.... It seemed like it was always happening to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. Which made me shiver quickly to his sudden touch. His hands tracing the small lines of my abdomen, to where the baby stopped growing and eventually died down. Which also made me shiver. Uncomfortable by his touch. The memories came back, and I was now bursting into tears. Wishing it was Jasper that was holding me tightly in his arms. Kissing me, and calming me. Assuring me that everything would once again be sane. I was hoping that day would come soon, but unfortunately to my dismay, things would only turn out as I'd hoped if I was with Jasper again, happily married, but he then fell for my daughter, as I disappeared for a while. None of this would of happened if I hadn't overdosed

Most of this situation was my fault. But when I overdosed, I was under so much stress, disbelief, and drenched with too much pain. I was what most people would classify as depressed, and in most cases like that, it could lead to questionable thoughts about life, and the point to it. I could feel Edward's breath hit hard against my cool, and hard skin. His lips moving towards my neck. Moans slightly escaping my lips, but they weren't intentional. I was imagining it as Jasper. I wouldn't force myself to fall in love with someone else, who I truly didn't have much feelings for anymore. Edward brought that on himself. It was most certainly not my fault I lost all my trust him. " Edward." I began to whimper now. I wanted to tell him the truth about how I felt, but it wouldn't matter. If I did then I would be alone, by myself, aching, wanting someone to love immensely. How did my life finally come down to this? What had started all the corruption in my life.

I looked up to Edward again.... Oh, yeah, right. I forgot. " Edward." I said again, barely making an attempt to push him away.

" Bella." He whispered.

"Stop." I spoke softly turning my head away from him.

" What's wrong, my sweet Bella?" He bit the end of my ear lobe.

" Nothing's wrong." I lied, wiping the evidence from my eyes, as the tears came pouring out.

" You're crying, there must be something wrong." He admitted helping me erase the evidence.

" We're getting married in less then a month." I said to myself. He looked at me confused.

" Yes..." He replied slowly.

" And Jasper's getting married the day after we are...." I added. I didn't want it to sound as wrong as it came out. I did love Edward, but not like old times, like he was hoping.

" Yes... what is it, Bella?" He asked now concerned. Maybe he knew that I felt like backing out. Maybe he could see it in my eyes. That wasn't good.

" Nothing, Edward." I replied rather annoyed he kept replying to me. He began to kiss my forehead which made it almost impossible for me to think. All I knew is that I needed to do something before it was too late, and both Jasper, and I make a huge mistake, both marrying the wrong people. I needed a plan, and a back up, but I was not that smart, or devious in those relations of deceit, but I knew someone who was... Someone I could always rely on to give me a plan certain to prevail. I needed him the most right now. My big teddy bear of a brother.

***************************

" Emmett, you have to help me with this." I begged. I knew he would give in eventually, but how long could begging and pleading take? minutes, hours, days? I didn't have time for that. Jasper's wedding was in less than two weeks time, and so was mine... I gulped at that.

" Relax, Bella. I will see what I can do with my brilliant expertise." I rolled my eyes and began to sigh.

_Oh brother, prideful much?_

"That's great, Emmett." I smiled, playing along with his happy go lucky mood.

" On one condition." He paused, putting his poker face on. I began to groan. The consequences couldn't possibly be good. Not the way Emmett worked, sadly.

" What?" I began to sigh heavily. " What could you possibly want from me?" I had to ask.

" If you and Jasper... you know.... do work out, then I want complete dibs on best man." Well that wasn't the worst thing possible he could've asked from me.

" What? You're not going ask for money from me?" He nodded his head no and smiled content.

" Nah.. I already got all the money I need." He then paused and began to open his mouth. " Can you tell me one thing? Why have you drawn such a liking to Jasper, what does he have that Edward doesn't." Even I thought it was ridiculous to ask... It was quite a good question.

" I don't know," I shrugged my shoulders and laughed. I couldn't even answer the question. It shouldn't have been hard to answer at all. " I mean, Jasper, would always make me laugh, and there's just such a different passion, I have between the two. Edward does show his love to me, but Jasper does even more than that. Whenever I'm scared, or hurt. He'll help clean me up, or put me to sleep. Whenever we would argue, he would always be right, of course, but tell me that no matter what it doesn't matter. He holds me tight whenever I'm cold. And then Anna... I have never seen someone care for someone else's child like that, even when it wasn't there's. He was so protective over her. And I always felt safe with him too. Edward, is a different story. He shows his love towards me, but that's all he ever does. If something's wrong, or I'm upset, he asked what's wrong, but doesn't do anything. He just sighs and leaves. Edward, I love, but more like a friend, and I don't think that will ever change. Unless for some reason it does, and I'll be happy again, but I can't wait for that day. I need him. I haven't been happy since the day Jasper was cleaning my cuts up. I felt cared for, and love when that day happened." I sighed, remembering everything I lost.

" Can ask another thing... Why did you marry Edward, if you knew that all you felt towards him was a friendship, and nothing more. You could've saved him, an extreme load of trouble, going through all this." He looked at me, with sudden confusion.

" I know, and I was stupid. I was afraid that if I said no, I would be alone again. And I didn't want to go back to that. I never want to go back to that." I said, picking at my distorted finger nails.

" Well, I think you should go to him and Edward both, before the weddings. Just be careful." He warned.

" Do you think I have a chance with Jasper, Emmett?" I asked trying to keep tears of confusion flowing off my face.

" Anything is possible. Especially when it comes to love. It can find anyone, Bella." He said smirking. He was a good advice giver, I had to give him that much.

" Thanks, Emmett." I smiled and hugged him tightly. He felt the bulge that was hanging off my stomach. He looked down, and noticed that.

" What happened to you, Bella?" He asked touching it. I didn't mind it.. It was just somewhat embarrassing.

" I guess, to a vampire it would be a miscarriage, but I was bitten while pregnant. Carlisle couldn't wait, so now I'm stuck like this forever. I just wish he would've waited until after she was born, but it couldn't wait I guess." I was now patting my stomach. " I was going to name her, Emma Grace, but it didn't happen." I began to tear up.

" Bella, I'm so sorry." He hugged me tightly against his chest.

" It's alright. No harm no fowl." I lied. I was upset about this, but it was the past. Over and done with. " It's getting late, I should go." I said getting up and wiping the tears from my eyes.

" Alright, see you, Bella. And good luck with the love triangle." He smiled slightly, as I walked out and into the car. He helped somewhat, also made me feel better about picking Jasper. And now, I understand why I love Jasper more. But I had to come up with what I was going to do, before everyone would marry the wrong person.


	26. Decisions and Heart Break

**Bella POV**

_Flashback_

_My heart was slowing, blood trickling down my neck. Me screaming out in absolute terror. My memory gone. My baby gone. Everything, practically vanished. " Jasper." I cried out a few times. It was the only name I could remember. " Carlisle, please!" I cried out begging for him to take the pain, the sensational burning away. It was so hard to bare._

_" Hold her down!" Carlisle yelled, motioning for Jacob to come forward. Jacob caressed my face in his slightly overheated hands._

_" It will be alright, Bella." He whispered. The words he whispered felt like he was singing me a lullaby. I screamed out again in absolute pain._

_" No one must know about this." Carlisle said to Jacob. I was barely able to hear them, the rest of their words came out as mutters, and the rest that I was able to hear, hit my heart my like poison. They were going to be all means keep me from those I loved most. Keeping me hidden. The transformation, it wasn't too far from enclosing on me. I would be completely immortal for the rest of my life. Something I wanted, but not like this. Not like this at all._

_" Jasper!" I cried out again, losing all consciousness. " Bella." I heard Jacob call barely in a whisper. His voice turned to sudden agony and he kissed my lips fiercely. They were warm. His touch was the most unsettling thing on earth. I began to shutter. I began to scream out._

Now

" Bella!" Edward cried concerned. " What's wrong? Speak to me, Love." Those words weren't easy on my stomach, but I soon learned how to forget all the pain, all the uneasy that was set off. " Bella!" He shouted again. " Not caring my breath was uneven, my eyes unsteadying, widening in horror. I was about to marry someone I had no business marrying. Someone I didn't deserve.

" She's probably just nervous, Edward." Alice spoke out. Alice and I were finally friends again. After all those hard years of getting along. We had no problems. I still stayed mute. It wasn't a bad state to be in at the moment.

_" _Edward.. I can't do this." I stuttered. He looked at me confused, and slightly upset.

" Bella, what are you talking about?" He asked.

" Edward," I paused and then sighed. " I haven't been exactly honest with you."

" You haven't exactly been being honest to me about what?" He asked his voice lower in pain, and agony. I could feel my heart breaking.

" Edward, I love you, but I don't." I spat it out... It wasn't exactly the nice way I planned, but I had no choice. It had to come out someway. " I'm still in love with Jasper, and I just can't get married... not now, not with someone I don't love." Anger was buried in his face, and then relief it almost looked like. " I'm so sorry." He looked like he was letting up, but then the stiffness started make me lose hope.

" You waited to tell me a day before the wedding?" He asked trying to keep his voice calm and even.

" I know.. I'm sorry." I began to pick at my small finger tips, smelling the blooding spilling out at the very tip of my fingers. I was pressing too hard from nervousness.

" Why, when I asked you if you would marry me, did you say yes?" His voice was now cracking. He was mad.

" I was,..." I had to be very careful of my explanation. " Afraid of being alone... no one to hold, kiss, love. Do you know what it's like to feel so lost, and confused, and alone?" I asked not understanding why I couldn't cry. I forgot that was one of things to vampires, you could never cry.

" Yes, every moment I didn't have you, I felt completely alone, Bella. Every time a new day started. I prayed to God you would show up to me, and kiss me, hold me, love me. I prayed I would see your face every morning. I prayed that wouldn't become like me, but that didn't happen, I still don't care. Bella, every day you weren't with me I felt empty, like I wasn't me anymore. I wasn't anyone at all. After you left me, Bella. I could find no reason to live anymore." I looked away from him. His face was tearing at my heart. I had surely broken his. Could a heart still break when it stopped beating? Was that what was happening. It felt like it.

" You have no idea what I've been through!" I began to lose my calm.

" Oh, I don't? I'm the one who's had to listen to you complain about for the past 6 months, Bella! You don't think I get it by now?! What is there even to get, you're nothing but a liar... you're so broken, Bella." He whispered in my ear. There. That was it. I could feel it. My heart break. It cause pain to my chest, which was unusual. I screamed out at the pain. I had to get out of here. Get some fresh air. I walked outside to the high balcony. The summer breeze brushed against my cold face. I felt numb.

I began to tense up even more when I could sense Edward was right behind me. " Edward." I whispered out still staring away from him, keeping my gaze focused on the sun set. And the skin the sparkled brightly. It didn't matter though since our house was kept hidden in the forest.

" Bella, I'm sorry." He whispered, wrapping his arms around my waste. Trying to figure out what I was staring at.

" You want to really know why I said yes to your proposal?" I asked curiously, now looking at him. It hurt a little, but I needed to tell him the truth.

" Why?" He whispered. I was antagonized by the way he whispered the words to me.

" Because I didn't want you to get upset with me. It's like, I feel obligated to make everyone happy. And I guess I paid too much attention on everyone else being happy, instead of myself. Edward, Jasper's who I really want... and I'm willing to do anything to get him back.... even if that means tear him apart from Anna..." I began to laugh and now felt a tear stride down my face. " Isn't that sick? I would destroy my own daughters happiness to satisfy my own needs." I looked out to the open and watched birds fly off the balcony.

" You can't make everyone happy, Bella. Even you know that." He smiled slightly then sighed. " But if anyone deserves happiness, it should be you. So are you going to go through with breaking the news to Anna?" He asked looking at me. I laughed and shook my head.

" No, I can't... I'm not going to ruin their lives. It's not right. So, I guess... I live without him." I looked down to the ground.

" Are you sure you can?" He asked curiously.

" No, but I'll figure it out somehow. I just need a plan how to start over. Edward.." I paused, and I couldn't believe I was totally going to say this after what I said a few minutes ago. " I'll go through with the marriage." He shook his head no now.

" No, Bella. I don't want you to do something you feel obligated to do." He didn't get it. I loved him, and that's all that mattered. I took his face in my hands and kissed him more passionately than I ever had, and wrapped myself slowly around him. I could tell he was smiling beneath the kiss. " Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, his eye brow raised.

" I'm sure." I was positively sure. He set me down on the couch and went to take a shower. I could hear the water running, and hitting the marble floor forcefully. It relaxed me, calmed me... even though I was more nervous now... Was what I did right? I couldn't decide. I had butterflies set in my stomach. I took out my phone to check for any new messages, hoping for something, but unfortunately to my dismay, there was nothing. No text telling me,' I'm making a mistake I want you.' he was going to go through with this just as much as I was. There had to be something wrong. I began to hesitate whether or not to call him or not. Tell him my true feelings. What if it was too late?

I had to find out. I dialed his number and waited for him to answer. Finally he did. " Hello?" He asked.

" Hey." My voice began to shrill in excitement from hearing his gentle and calm voice. " How are you?" I asked, I knew there was no time for small talk. I had to just spit it out.

" Bella?" He was caught by surprised.

" Jasper." I replied. His voice was like an angelic choir. I felt like crying out knowing he picked up.

" Is there something you want to talk about?" He asked curiousness filling his voice.

" Um, no I just wanted to see how you were doing? It's been a while since we've talked." I lied.. .Dang it! Why couldn't I just tell him the absolute truth? ' Jasper, I am still completely in love with you.' Ah! I wanted to blurt that out so much, but I couldn't imagine how many lives I would be ruining.

" Oh." His voice now began to fill with sadness. That note wasn't what I was hoping for. After that we talked for hours and hours. Laughing, then acting sad again. Everything felt good, but I forgot that I really wasn't his, and he wasn't mine.

I began to sigh unhappily knowing I had to go, Edward was mad. " Jasper, I have to go, are you coming to my wedding?" I knew it would be awkward if I asked, but I had to ask at least once, to know if I would expect him or.

" I don't know, Bella.... Anna and I have to plan for that day. I'll try to." He smiled slightly.

" No, it's okay, if you can't, you can't..." I lied. I wanted him there. I wanted him to grab me by the hand and kiss me, carrying me in his arms as I fainted by his glorious kiss.

" Okay, are you sure? I don't want you upset. Listen I have to go, Anna needs me right now for something." He began to stutter.. what was that for? Maybe he was lying. It was jealousy I could feel growing deep inside.

" Goodbye, Jasper." I said harshly, and hung up. What now? This was going to be a long eternity.


	27. The sun finally sets right

Today was the day. The day I got married.... Again.. To the same guy... My stomach felt like it was going to burst, and I couldn't breath, but I didn't need to. Vampires don't need oxygen. I took in a deep breath anyway and stared at myself in the mirror. My dress was made of pure satin, and flowers were draped down all of my dress quite nicely. It was soft and smooth. It shined in the sunlight like I had. Which, is why we had our wedding at night. We didn't want to blow it. Tears rushed off my face. I wasn't ready. I couldn't do it. Not here, not now. I couldn't panic, I already said yes, several times in my head, and aloud. My long brown curls draped behind my shoulders, and laid elegantly against my bare back. " You can do this, Bella Marie Cullen. Just breath." This was not going to end well.

" Bella, It's time." Alice spoke gently and smiled.

" Alice." I panicked.

" Bella, you'll be fine." She assured me, but that's not why I was nervous. Was I marrying the right guy?

" Alice, have you had any visions?" I asked curiously. Even though, I really didn't want to know.

" No, I haven't, Bella." She said pulling my arm to the hall that led to the chapel. I gulped and took a deep breath. Alice put the vail over my face and nudged me towards the door. " Now, go." This was my day. I kept repeating that to myself, and also added that Jasper's day was the day after mine. What a coincidence. I had tears falling off my cheeks and onto the ground. Staining the black carpet underneath my feet. I was trembling. The front doors opened, and every stared at me from inside. Standing up as I came closer to the entry way.

_I can do this,_

_I can do this,_

_I can do this._

This was killing me. I began to pace myself and walked slow... slower than I had the first time I got married. I needed some time to think, but obviously I didn't have long to run out the door. The thoughts began to change as I walked closer and closer to Edward's smiling face.

_I can't do this_

_I can't do this_

_I can't do this_

Fear began to wash over me. This could not have been happening to me. Tears now pouring out. And small gasps could be heard from my very dry mouth. I imagined the peoples eyes burning deep into my skin. My memory. The all seemed annoyed. Did I make my unhappiness known? Did Edward figure it out. Oh no... My breaths began to heavy. I could see my dad in the front row now. Panic filled my distant features, and confusion filled Edward's. Crap. I finally arrived at the top of the stairs the led me to Edward. I was now facing him. My sudden gasps scared him.

I was crying, not because I was happy, but because I was scared and frightened. The priest began to say the vows, and they echoed in the back of my head. I shook my head and looked away from Edward, who now removed my vail from my face. It was drenched it tears, he wiped my tears away. Now the most important words hit my chest, and made it feel uneasy. I was now sick. " Do you, Edward Anthony Cullen, take Bella Marie Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

" I do." He whispered in my ear, gently, softly. This made me sob even more. Still my gaze was not directed dat him.

" And do you Bella Marie Swan, Take Edward Anthony Cullen, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" I couldn't seem to form the right words in my mouth. Except nonsense.

" I-I... I-...." Everyone was gesturing for me to finish, especially Edward.

" No, I'm sorry." I began to walk down the steps.. not looking at anyone, not Edward, not the family. I began to run, a little faster than human speed, but slower than vampire speed. I burst through the doors and knew where to go. Jasper was less than two minutes away from me. We in fact were breathing the same air. " Jasper!" I shouted. Seeing him walk out the door. My wedding dress got ruined, but I didn't care. He looked surprised.

" Bella?" I jumped into his arms and he caught me and kissed me passionately.

" You love me?" I asked. He looked confused.

" What?"

" Do you love me, Jasper?" I repeated seeing him smile at me and kiss my lips so gently, and soft.

" I do, Bella. More than anything. The sun sets and rises with you." He smiled and kissed me again.

" But aren't you supposed to be getting married tonight?" He asked and I shook my head.

" I realized that I'm nothing without you. What about Anna?" I asked.

" I broke it off. I love you more." He kissed my forehead. " Bella, will you marry me?" He asked sliding a ring on my finger. I shook my head yes, and kissed him passionately... and he did not hesitate to do the same.

" Yes." I whispered.

**but of course it's not over.. It will end soon though :( I know sad**


	28. Heart Broken, Death should come sooner

**Anna's POV**

Darkness filled my heart, emptiness and depression crept into my life. I hadn't gotten out since the day he canceled the wedding because he wanted to marry my mother instead, which was a couple weeks ago. I just sat in corner of my room and cried. " Why me?" I groaned. My dad was living with me. Watching over me. He was as depressed as I was, but not as surprised that Bella did that to him.

" Anna, are you alright?" my dad asked gently, sitting next me in a flash.

" Yes, I'm fine. I just want to be left alone." I lied. I wanted some company at least, but only to complain. And he understood exactly.

" You need to at least get something to eat. You haven't eaten in days." He always was the type of person to over-exaggerate things. But that statement was true. I hadn't eaten in days. I didn't want to.

" I'm not hungry." I lied again. I was very much starving, but I couldn't give in to my hunger and eat... That was not what I wanted.

" Anna, please." My father begged.

" No." I replied bitterly.

" Do it for your baby. If you don't you'll regret it later." That made me think for a little while. I did want my baby to be healthy, but I didn't necessarily want it. I didn't have a clue how I was suppose to take care of it when I had no one by my side to help me when I needed it. Of course I did have the family by my side, especially my dad.

" How are you so calm, Dad? I mean, mom totally stood you up on your wedding day for my Fiance. I'm so angry at her. How can I ever forgive her? She ruined my life." I sighed, and found myself sobbing terribly.

" Well, you just have to learn to forgive. I still love your mother, but I think she lost all her trust in me after what happened with Alice."

" Why? What did you and Alice do that made mom lose her trust in you?" I asked curiously. I had never heard this story before.

" Alice kissed me while Bella was watching, and it was kinda bad place, bad timing." He shrugged his shoulders.

" Have you ever felt like committing suicide because you lost the one you loved?" I asked, and he nodded his facial features were more distressed now.

" Yes, there was one time when I left for a little while, and Aunt Rosalie came to me saying Bella jumped off a cliff and committed suicide. So, I wanted to die with her. But I realized she wasn't dead." I was shocked.

" What happened after that?" I asked all now the more curious.

" Well, I'm here now aren't I?" He chuckled. I hit my head slightly in embarrassment.

" Yeah, Dad. I'm so sorry about everything that's happened to you and mom. But she just did what you did. That's not right." I moved closer to him and laid on his chest slowly. I was utterly tired and exhausted.

" Things may not be right, but that doesn't stop people from doing it. I miss your mother, but I let her go... I'm sorry about her, and Jasper. I could only imagine how hard it is for you." He kissed my forehead and watched me cry silently. I knew it was noticeable, but I didn't care.

" Dad, every where I go, I see him, his face. I don't want to do this anymore." My heart was hurting deeply, and the pain was getting worse as the hours passed. " It's like I can't get him out of my mind. He's like a drug. I can't." I shook my head. I didn't want to finish my sentence. " i just need to get away for a while." I spoke softly, and got up.

" That's fine, just don't do anything you'll regret, Anna." He warned, I'm sure I was tuning him out now. I couldn't hear his lecture anymore. I got into my small black truck and drove up to Reservations. It took an hour, a very long hour to me. I began to feel tears rushing down my cheek.

I parked off the side of the beach and walked up and down the shore slowly. I wanted the day to end more than anything in the world. I wanted my life to end today, now...

I looked out to the ocean and heard someone walk toward me. " Hey. Have I met you before?" The dark man turned me around. His eyes were beautiful, understanding, breath taking.

" I don't think so." I replied, stuttering slightly.

" We must've, you look so familiar. Did Bella have any kids?" He asked curiously. He knew my mom.. that made me dislike him a little. but it wasn't going to stop me from liking him.

" Yes, I'm her daughter... You know her?" I asked. not really caring.

" Yes, she was practically like my sister." That was significantly convenient. " I'm Jacob Black." He spoke proudly.

" I'm Anna, it's nice to finally meet you." I shook his hand and saw him jerk his body quickly. " Are you okay?" I asked watching him shake.

" Um, yes.. and no." He looked worried. He moved his hand slowly away from mine, and his eyes grew wide watching me, they were full of lust. " If you're Bella's daughter than you know a lot about vampires, don't you?" He looked at me with a small smirk.

" Yes, I know all I need to know about vampires." I murmured.

" Then you know about werewolf's." The wind became loud to me, as it blew against my hair.

" Very vaguely I remember anything about werewolf's..Why? Are you one or something?" I asked seeing his muscles pop out of his t-shirt. That wasn't very fair, he kept tempting me.

" Yes, and I think you are the most beautiful thing in the world." He smiled awkwardly at me. This was getting awkward, but I didn't care. " So what happened to you?" He asked. I was afraid of that question popping up.

" My husband left me for my mother." I chuckled while hiding tears away from him. " And now I'm all alone." I sighed and looked down at the ground. " Do you know what it's like not to be able to die, just remain this way for the rest of eternity. I'm cursed. It's funny cause I'm nothing close to a vampire. I'm mostly human." I began to cry now. I didn't care who was watching me. I looked like a complete fool already.

" How many times have you tried?" He asked quietly, understanding.

" 27 times. All attempts have seemed to fail me. " He looked at me weirdly and confused.

" What have you tried?" He asked still no crack in his voice.

" Drowning, which has come close to succeeding, but my dad pulled me out before it was too late. A medal bar pierced my heart on accident ,though. many more, but I don't feel like talking about it." I looked away from him again.

" I'm so sorry. That sounds like you're miserable. And I know what it feels like not being able to die. Especially during hard times like this." He looked deeply into my eyes.

" Jake, you seem to be the only person that understands me." I smiled slightly. I was happy I made a new friend. Possibly someone I could fall in love with later on.

" That's good,you have one friend who understands you." he hugged me, and suddenly for the first time in months I felt safe, and happy


	29. Funeral Arrangements

**Jasper's POV**

_Flashback_

_" Jasper? As long as we're together… nothing can tear us apart, right?" She smiled the most angelic smile, asking me this._

_" No, Angel, of course not. Nothing could happen that would make me change my mind about you." I tapped her nose with the tip of my finger. I never realized how that statement of mine was such an untruthful, deceitful lie. I lied to the girl I loved._

_I said the exact same thing to Bella... Is this going to happen again?... No, it wasn't. I wouldn't let it happen. This was the life I should've lived a long time ago. I'm not changing my mind again._

_Now._

" Jasper." Bella whispered gently in my ear, her voice made me alert right away, but I didn't respond. " Jasper." She nudged me again. I got up from where I was quickly.

" What is it, love?" I asked looking directly into her beautiful golden eyes.

" Are you all right?" She asked concern filling her emotions. Pain filling her eyes. I didn't realize that I was causing that much disturbance to her, that she would think something was wrong.

" Yes, I'm fine, never better." I smiled content with Bella laying next to me.

" Oh, I'm sorry... You just looked... troubled." She came across the word quickly.

" No, I'm not troubled... I'm fine dear." I smiled and kissed her cheek softly. Finally those long years of waiting for her finally paid off… except hadn't technically waited. But she still came back to me. " Have you ever thought about your daughter? You know you haven't seen her in a while. Don't you miss her?" I asked curiousness filling my voice.

" I do," She breathed in quietly, " I miss the little girl, you and I tucked into bed when she was scared of nightmares. She always got so scared." She laughed. " And I miss everyone getting along, talking to each other, having a good time. I miss you and me, Jazz." She began to cry. I went to her side, and comforted her. I didn't see that coming. I made her cry too? She was feeling guilty. Oh no, what was going on.

"Bella, sweetie,what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I kissed her forehead holding her close to me.

" Jazz, I did something horribly wrong." She cried hard now. This couldn't have been any good. She was afraid of telling me.

" It can't be that bad, Bella." I assured her, but she nodded her head no, and cried harder and harder.

" Jazz, you don't understand." She turned her head away from me, disgusted at herself. This was definitely not good. She always told me everything.

" What could it possibly be that I wouldn't understand, Bella?" Her eyes locked on mine she turned towards me slowly again.

"Charlie." She spoke in a soft voice. What was going on with her and Charlie? Did they get into a fight? I think it might've been worse than that. I gulped.

" Bella, what about Charlie?" I asked eagerly, I saw her face, it was horror stricken. " Bella, honey, you have to tell me what happened." She turned her head away once more and hit it against the head bored.

" I can't do it." She said.

" Yes, you can. You can trust me. Whatever you're going through, I'll help you, Bella. That's how it's always been." I head tears stuck in my throat.

"I was going to visit Charlie today, and I didn't realize that I should've gone hunting today, and.... I killed him, Jasper." She began to cry into my chest. My eyes went wide with horror, and sorrow. I was sad for her, but I knew how she honestly felt.

" Bella, no matter what you do, I will always love you." She needed to know that. But my Bella, was scared.

" I'm so sorry." She cried still.

" Don't be, love.... It was an accident." I assured her.

" Edward would be furious at me." That hurt me a little. She was still thinking about Edward.

" Who cares what he thinks, Bella? We have each other… That's all we need. We can get through this. I kissed her hair and watched her lie her head gently on my chest. She was much more calm now. Thanks to me. This is a moment where I realized that Bella was going to need Carlisle's help to get through this, not just mine, or anyone's. She killed her father on accident. We would all miss Charlie very much.

"Jasper, do you think things will get better? Better than they are now?" She wiped her tear away and sniffled a few times.

" Things will be alright." I helped her wipe away her tear. " We have each other." I kissed her gently, and heard her heart beat loudly.


	30. The Volturi

Jasper's POV

Days were growing longer. And time seemed almost unnecessary. Bella was struggling with the loss of her father, and I had to leave her for a long amount of time because I had some issues to deal out with the Volturi, which had danger written all over it.

I've made some mistakes in the past, but it doesn't mean I should have to be confronted about it. But the things I'm recently not proud of is my killing spree. I broke free from my vegetarian diet. No one knows yet… or do they? I killed maybe over 30 and killed less than 60 people. I actually made the front of the news paper for the trouble I caused. My poor innocent Bella doesn't suspect anything. She just thinks it's new born, but she has yet to find out it's me.

Today was a different type of day. It seemed as if it were to be my last with my love, Bella. I walked over to her to see if she was alright, which normally she would be, but not now. " Bella." I called in a whisper. " Bella." She still did not answer. I walked to her room and found her cuddled up in the corner by her bed. She seemed too distant for me not to be worried. " Bella." I said again, a little more calm than before, and walked to her carefully, and patted her shoulder.

She looked up at me, her eyes very dim. " Jasper." She barely spoke and jumped to hug me. Tighter than usual.

" Are you alright?" I asked concerned now.

" Yes, I'm fine… I guess." She sniffled. " Why are you leaving?" Her eyes grew wider as she waited for a reply. How did she know about that? I told know one about this, except Aro.

" Why do you think I'm leaving?" I wasn't going to answer her quite yet.

" Because, I know you are. Where are you going?" Her voice was less content.

" I have to leave town for a little while. I have some business to catch up on with some old friends. They need my help." A good attempt at a lie, but I knew she could tell I wasn't completely being honest.

" Oh," She said quickly, her face falling into confusion. " Why can't I go with you?" She folded her arms slowly. This would be the hard part to explain. I couldn't tell her I was going to visit the Volturi… I was told to come alone and Bella probably wouldn't let me go unless I took her with me.

" Well, they're not very welcoming to new guests. As in, if you're new they'll rip you apart." I laughed slightly because that part was true. But she wasn't new to them. In fact Aro was chomping at the opportunity to have Bella changed into an immortal the last time they went to Volterra, Italy.

" Well, how long are you going to be gone for?" She asked, sadness filling her voice.

" A week or so. But that's it, no longer than that. I promise, dear." I kissed her forehead gently.

" You're leaving now?" She held onto me slightly and hugged me.

" Well, the sooner I leave, the sooner I'll be back." She nodded her head understandingly and smiled.

" Be safe, Jasper." She kissed me passionately goodbye.

" I will, I promise." I lied again on that part. I didn't know what was going to happen, or even why the Volturi wanted me. I kissed her again and went to my room, and took my suitcases to the car, and drove off. My old home was the first place I would go before my flight took off.

I pulled into the drive, and saw Alice waiting there, for me. I parked the car and got out. Something didn't feel right. She must've known something I didn't. She met up to me half way. " Is something wrong, Alice?" I asked, my voice calm and even.

" What have you done?" She asked in disgust and walked away.

" Nothing I'm proud of." I answered back just a little louder so she could hear me.

" Did you come here to ask me about what will become of you after Italy?" She asked curiously.

" No, I didn't." I replied softly. My voice becoming uneven in tone. " I came to say goodbye, and…. I'm sorry… for everything I've done to you, to this family. I'm ashamed for many things I've done in this life, and what trouble it's caused you. The pain and suffering. But I couldn't be living a happier life than I am now.. well, up until now. So, goodbye." I let my feelings go. I said what I needed to say. To Alice anyway. I still had other people to apologize to.

" These won't be the last words I hear from you." She said sadly.

" Well, that should be good news for you shouldn't it?" I admitted.

"I don't know." She nodded her head and looked away from me. "Be careful, Jasper." She whispered in my ear and nudged me to leave. " Goodbye."

I nodded my head and walked to the front of the door. When I walked inside, Emmett and Rosalie were sitting next to each other. " You look like you're going somewhere important." Emmett said sarcastically.

" I know, that's because I am. I need to talk to Edward, do you know where he is?" I asked politely. Emmett obviously wasn't going to give me a response.

" Yeah, he's upstairs... I think Anna's with him." Rosalie spoke. That was perfect. in a room with my wife's x-husband, and my x- fiance. But I had to do this no matter what. I walked up stairs slowly and saw Edward, but not Anna. Luckily.

" Jasper." Edward spoke surprised. " You have a lot of nerve showing up here." I had that coming.

" I know, I'm just trying to make things right before I leave." I admitted wearily.

" Leave?" He asked.

" Yes, leave." I replied.

" Is Bella going with you?' He asked, his voice more curious.

" No, she's not." I sighed having to confirm. " I can't afford to lose her because of my mistake. I came here to apologize for everything." My eyes caught hold of Anna. She was standing behind me, her back leaning on the edge of the closet door.

" We forgive you." She smiled slightly, and patted my shoulder for comfort. I also noticed she was wearing an engagement ring. That made me smile.

" Congratulations, Anna." I spoke softly. My voice filled with gratitude.

" Thank you... you know if it wasn't for you leaving me, I don't think I ever would've been happy like I am now. The world, and my life doesn't honestly seem bad. So, thank you, again." She smiled and walked away.

" Edward, if I don't come back within a week, or at all... Tell Bella what happened. I'm sure Aro will inform Carlisle." I sighed, and clenched my fist.

" Are you in some kind of trouble?" He asked concerned.

" Trouble? Yes... Deep, deep trouble." I looked at my watch and realized I was almost late for my flight. " Crap. Edward I'm late for my flight... just promise me you'll tell Bella." I waited for a reply even though I was anxious to go. This was more important.

" I promise." He sighed sadly. " Goodbye, Jasper." He hugged me quickly and left. I ran to my car and drove off to the airport. I made it just in time. Getting on the plane wasn't the hardest part. Leaving was. Not knowing if you were coming back was even harder to deal with.

I eventually arrived to Italy and left a message for Bella before I dared to enter the Volturi's territory. Felix, and Demetrie were already waiting for me by the front gate. " Hello, Jasper." They both said in-synct.

"Hello, gentlemen." I replied, showing no hint of fear or resistance. " Aro is ready to see me?" I asked quickly. Almost too quickly.

" Yes." Felix said grabbing a hold of my arm.

" No need to take me captive, I know the drill." I answered and shook off his grip.

" Very well." They both said again, and pushed me towards the entrance of the building.

" Now I remember why I don't visit often." I scoffed at Felix, and Demetrie. I was always sick and tired of how aggressive they were.

" Just keep walking." They begged, and pulled me towards the elevator where Jane and Alec met up. I saw them holding hands and it almost made me sick. I'm not sure why though.

When the elevator finally made it down, I walked out to see their beautiful human secretary, Gianna. Her fingers tracing the keyboard of the computer she was working on.

" Hello, Gianna." Felix smiled contently. I could actually sense his feelings for her which made me roll my eyes, and it made think of Bella and I.

" Hello, Jasper. It's been quite a long time." I was surprised she knew who I was considering I had not been here in ages.

" Hello." I replied politely and kept on moving. Finally I entered Death's path walking into this room. Caius, and Marcus were sitting next to each other on their throne's. Aro was just a couple feet away from them and me.

" Hello, Mr. Hale." Aro spoke loudly, his arms behind his back.

" Aro." I replied. "So, what do you want from me? Obviously you called me here for something important." I said still not showing any hint of fear.

" Demetrie has been keeping a close eye on your family. It seems you have been causing trouble in Seattle, and people are starting to get suspicious." He paused quickly, and sighed.

" I know, I do apologize for that, I promised to stop so....."I began to balance on my heals hoping they would believe me.

" Unfortunately we can not take any chances of any vampires exposing are secret.. so the penalty would be death." My eyes were now growing wider. " Or the other option would be you remain here with the Volturi kept hidden."

" Those are my only options?"I asked, and watched him nod. I knew I couldn't live without Bella. She was my entire soul. I didn't want it without her. I wouldn't be who I am today without her.

" I'd rather die." I replied, brave and strong. I would've cried, but it would not of been a good idea.

" Tell me why you are in such a hurry to approach death?" He asked slightly curious as well as many others. He reached out his hand and touched it gently to mine. All concentration lost. A couple minutes later I heard a firm surprised gasp. " My, oh my. You have been through a lot haven't you?" His smile was somewhat lost.

"Yes, Aro." I closed my eyes and looked down.

" I never thought you and Bella would be in love, this is quite fascinating. Don't you just love taking chances?" He asked rather amused. What in my head could he have found funny? Was it my pathetic attempt at being a decent person?

" If hadn't taken those chances, I would've never been able to love Bella like I do. I have been through a lot... and I just want to go back and be with her. Please, for Bella's sake?" I begged sadly.

" I'm sorry, but rules are rules.. and I can't afford for anyone to break them... Demetrie! Felix!" He called loudly and motioned for them to come to his side. They came quickly, and one eyed me with a smug smile. This was it... I was already as good as dead. He whispered something in their ear and whatever it was.. a demand maybe? They came to my side now quickly and held both my arms as tight as possible.

" Aro, please I'm begging you." I tried to plead, but it just came out as a cry for help.

" I'm sorry, old friend." He grabbed ahold of my neck and now I was counting me in head.

_Three, Two, One... Goodbye Bella, I will always love you._


	31. The End: Finding him again

**Bella's POV**

_Monday June 23rd seven days after Jasper's disappearance _

Something in my heart didn't feel right. I could tell he was lying I just couldn't understand or figure out what for... It's been a week and I miss him.. Of course it's not out of the ordinary to miss your husband.

I sat in the corner of my room again and tried to relax, nice and easy. Calling out Jasper's name wasn't unusual to do either when I was in this type of mood... always depressed. " _Bella_." I heard my name being called, but I didn't understand.. No one was here but me. If it was one of my delusions than something really must've been wrong with me. I saw Charlie twice after he was dead and I talked to him about me becoming immortal... I didn't want to see him again.

" _Bella_." It whispered again.. and the voice was so familiar it almost sounded exactly like Jasper

" Jasper?" I called out. But no one responded.

" _Bella_." It called out again. This time when I looked in the mirror, I saw him standing with me. Jasper.. My love was pecking at my hair gently with his lips... I couldn't feel it, and I felt scared because of that. Why was I having delusions of Jasper... He wasn't dead... Maybe I was sick?

There was a knock at my door... I was now not feeling as pleasant as before. I went to the door and opened it slowly, hoping it was Jasper.... But when I did... no sudden luck. I sighed, but was certainly shocked to who was at my door. " Edward?" I was losing it.. and something was not right.

" Hello, Bella." He was not happy, his smile was wrong, almost like it was tainted.

" What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice uneven. I was terrified to ask.

" Bella, I promised to something to Jasper... There's something I need to tell you... Aro called Carlisle... it was about Jasper." My eyes started forming tears I knew where this was going.

" Jasper's.... dead." His voice was hard to my body.. I ached suddenly, and felt broken. I had nothing left to live for. " Aro killed him." I looked at him now, my eyes sobbing, and my dead heart breaking.

" Why?" I whispered. I knew I didn't care, I just wanted him back to me.

" You know about the recent deaths of 60 people? You know where people thought it was animals.."

" It couldn't have been Jasper. I know he would never do something like this.. It wasn't Jasper, Edward." I clenched my fists together.

" It was him, Bella. He was hiding that from you. Before he left, where did he tell you he was going?" I tried to remember what he had said.. His last words were hard on me. I gulped loudly and tried to concentrate.

"He said he had some business to catch on with some old friends." I said quietly and went to sit down on my couch. Edward sat with me.

" Well, he was visiting some old friends... But Aro demanded him to come. So, he left to go to Volterra, Italy and meet up with them. Aro talked to him about his killing spree. He told him that he couldn't risk the vampire secret... and so they killed him." I was crying hard now and leaned against his chest gently, not knowing what to think. What to say. " Bella, it will be alright." He kissed the top of my head.

" Edward, please don't. " I begged and pushed him away slightly.

" I'm sorry." He sighed."I understand you're upset."

" Edward, strange things have been happening to me." I wiped the tears from my eyes quickly.

" Like what, Bella?" He asked calmly and rubbed my arm. I've been able to see and talk to Charlie since he was dead, and jasper I recently saw too, but I had no clue he was dead at the time." I tried really hard not to think about it.

" That's strange." Edward spoke confused.

" I know, and I think that if this is honestly permanent, I don't want to be reminded that my husband is dead. I can't live without him.. There's no point in living without him. He made whole." I cried again softly in Edward's chest. He put his hand on my back and began to rub it gently. " I don't want to live without him, Edward." I whispered.

" I know, Bella. Do you know if you can talk to Jasper yet?" Edward asked.

" I don't know, I've only been able to see him." I sobbed.

" Well, he tried to say his last goodbyes a week ago, but he was late for his flight. Maybe we could try to talk to him through you."

" I don't know if I want to try that. I miss him too much." I held my knees tightly.

" _Bella, everything will be alright. I promise._" Jasper whispered in my ear and kissed my head. I felt alright again suddenly, but I didn't feel the same.

" Alright." I gave in and got in his car. He pulled in his family's drive and stopped the car. We both got out and went inside. Everyone was standing in the living room. Esme and Carlisle looked just as depressed, as I was. And Alice was very hard to describe. She seemed to look too blank.

" Bella, I'm so sorry about all of this." Alice and Esme both hugged me gently.

" I'm sorry you guys too." I wiped my tear away that fell off my cheek.

" So, what are you guys doing here?" Emmett asked rather bitterly. Not really like him to do that.

" Bella, thinks she can get Jasper to talk to us." Edward said quietly. He looked rather embarrassed.

" How? He's dead." Rosalie was as bitter as Emmett. That on the other hand was normal.

" It's my talent." I replied. Suddenly Jasper appeared at my side and kissed my head again. I felt at peace.

" What do you want to say?" I asked looking at him. He seemed very distant and sad. I felt stupid though, I was talking to mid air.

_" Tell Esme I'm sorry, and I love her. She was like a mother to me in so many ways, and I thank her for that. Also to keep Emmett out of trouble." _He chuckled and so did I.

" Um, Esme," Her face perked when she heard her name. " He said that he's so sorry about what happened, and he loves you. You were a mother to him in so many ways, and he's grateful for everything you could've ever possibly done. Oh and he says to keep Emmett out of trouble." I smiled slightly, and watched her cry.

" This doesn't prove that she's really talking to him." Rosalie cried out. " There's no proof. Anyone could've thought of that."

" Why would I lie to any of you about seeing Jasper. I'm not crazy.. it's just my ability. Even though I really don't need, I'm grateful."

_" If Rosalie wants proof, than that's what she'll get...this is something no one knows.. When I Emmett and I where home alone because everyone else went out hunting, Emmett went up in Alice's room and stole her credit card and put it in his jean drawer. Then blamed it on Edward, and she actually believed him." _That sounds like Emmett.

" Jasper said that no one knows about this.. It's proof for Rose. When no body was home except him and Emmett, Emmett went upstairs and stole Alice's credit card from her wallet and hid it in his jean drawer to drive her mad until she gave up. Also he blamed it on Edward, and it worked for him." I looked at Jasper and saw him look guilty.

" That was you!?" Alice burst out with an angry roar.

" Come on! You had to know it was... Edward wouldn't be stupid enough to do that." He put his hands in front of her.

" But you would... Good point." She sighed in defeat. I heard Jasper laugh.

" Okay, I believe you." Rose admitted.

_"Bella, give me your hand." _Jasper demanded politely. I reached my hand out towards his and noticed something different. I heard gasps in the background.

" That is one talented gift." Emmett said quietly in amazement. Everyone could see Jasper, not just me. Jasper turned to me and smiled slightly, and kissed me gently.

" Bella, I'll always be with you. No matter what I love you." He brushed my cheek with his finger tip.

" I don't want to lose you." I cried gently.

" I know, but Bella... Promise you won't do anything to harm yourself while I'm not around.. You still have your family and friends.. and me in a way, a weird ghost form kind of way. But I'm still here darling." He kissed me cheek and let go of my hand. He finally vanished. Everybody was still stunned. Alice was fuming, and Emmett was apologetic. I began to cry as the quiet began to fill the room. Edward ran to me and hugged me.

" Believe her now?" Emmett looked at Rosalie and watched her mouth hang open.

" I think everybody believes her, Emmett." Edward rolled his eyes.

" How long have you been hiding this from us, Bella?" Rose asked bitterly.

" I recently learned how to do this.. the only bad thing about this is, I can't bring them back. I can only talk to them for a short amount of time."I sighed and began to shiver. " Edward, I think it's time for me to go home." I admitted, and walked towards his car.

Edward followed behind me eventually, and watched me cry. " Are you sure you're alright?" He asked wiping away the tear that had fallen from my cheek again.

" Yes, I'm fine." I looked away from him and closed my eyes. We arrived home shortly after. I walked to my front door and laid on my couch. Falling asleep was now something I was able to do.

**Edward's POV**

_10 years later_

Today was a day I felt like visiting Bella. Alice wanted to go with me, but I'm not sure I wanted her to come. It was peaceful when Alice didn't go, and rather loud when she did.

" Alice, no." I begged her to stay, but she wouldn't listen.

" Hey, Edward, relax. Bella's my sister, and I know how much she means to you. I'll be quiet when we go, and if I'm not, you can take my credit cards. I promise." She smiled politely. " Are you bringing her a rose?" She asked quickly. I did not know if I was going to or not. I bring her a roses every time I visit, and usually their either red or black, and Alice would always bring those pink frilly type flowers. Which is what I saw in her hand today again. Shocking.

" Wow, you're giving up your credit cards if you talk? You must really mean that." I laughed. " Is anyone else going? Or is it just you?" I asked before walking to the car.

" No,just me. Emmett wanted to come, but him Rose are busy doing things... God only knows what." She cringed and then giggled. We both walked to the car, and drove off. When we arrived I parked on the side of the road.

" How long are we staying?" She asked, and then put her hand over her mouth.

" Not long. I just haven't been here in so long to visit her. I think it's time I visit again." I smiled content. We walked into the cemetery gates and stood by both Jasper and Bella's grave. It was a good idea to put them next each other. I'm sure it's what Bella would've wanted.

" Hello Bella." Alice said with her shrilling voice. It almost hurt to listen to her. She sat the rose on the ground and stood next to me. " We all miss you, and Jasper. We wish you can be here. You missed out on everything." She smiled. " Anna, had a little son and daughter. She had twins, and Jacob and her moved away. We miss them too." She then frowned.

" Bella," I spoke barely above a whisper. " I was always afraid to ask you this question."I rolled the ring back and forth on my finger tips. " I loved you so much, and the day you died, I was going to ask you to marry me. It's hard on me ,now that I know I'll never get a real chance to ask you. The first time I asked you I knew you meant it. The second time I asked you, you were just trying to get yourself out of being single, but if I asked you a third time, I'm sure you would've meant it. Since we'd been together for 4 years. I only wish I knew what happened that you decided to commit suicide. I know you still loved Jasper.. and it's fine I understand." I slipped the ring onto a black ribbon and tied it around the stem of the white rose I had for her and set it on the ground. "I love you, Bella." I smiled slightly then sighed.

" And Jasper, I do thank you for keeping Bella happy as long as you did. I was honestly envious of you at the time. You had everything you could've ever wanted including Bella. I just hope you two are happy together now. Or at least with each other. Anna misses you, her kids would've loved you and Bella both. They're so beautiful. And Emmett is bugging everyone, and Rose is still as bitter as she always." I laughed. " Esme's been depressed lately, but she's been better. Carlisle and her took in another lost vampire. and it just makes remember that we loved you both more." I chuckled. " oh, before I go.. Bella give me a sign.. any sign.. that you would say yes to my proposal." I looked up and closed my eyes. I waited for a long while and felt the wind blow against my face, and a gentle peck on my cheek. I smiled slightly and looked at Alice. She was sobbing.

" Edward, I'm so sorry." She hugged me quickly and tightly.

" It's alright, Alice." I admitted and sighed. " It's finally over." I sighed

" Edward, you know they'll always be here with us." She cuddled herself close to my chest.

" I know, I just wish I could see her one last time. I'd do anything to see her face again and hold her in my arms."

" I know I feel the same way about Jasper." She admitted.

Well, that's what happened. Bella and I fell in love, then fell apart. And Jasper finally filled the empty void she had, something I couldn't do. Jasper was killed, and Bella died shortly after him so she could see him again. And now all that's left are broken memories. " Goodbye, Bella. I love you darling."


End file.
